At Unique Corals, as well as at every coral vendor in the industry, we spend hours and hours sourcing, acclimating, nurturing, and curating a selection of the most attractive, interesting corals for our customers. It’s part of the game, right? Everyone wants the coolest, most amazing corals available. If they didn’t, we’d just be putting up a whole lot of…what?
“Uh, oh, Fellman is shooting himself in the foot again; he’s going to talk about something that’s going to give his own industry a kick in the rear…?”
Maybe. Maybe not. Well, yeah. Probably.
I thought it might be fun to take a break today from ripping on some hobby institution to play a little game of “Rag on the industry AND hobby…?” Woah. A "two for one." In this case, what are the most, well…boring- corals available today? I mean, what are corals that, although they may be great, are just not all that exciting? Remember, “dull” does not mean “bad.” It just means…dull. Well, pull up a glass of warm milk and get comfy, and we’ll try to keep you awake today.
“Radioactive” Zoanthid- Okay, on first glance, it’s about as characterless as a coral can be, right? It has all the trappings of a real snoozer: Monochromatic color, predictable morphology, and massive availability. I mean, you can get this morph just about anywhere corals are sold, and possibly, even in places where they aren’t (I mean, Wal-Mart could probably carry this one). It’s a predictably dull morph. In fact, I’d hazard a guess and suggest that this morph seems least likely to mutate among any of the other zoo morphs we keep in the hobby. I mean, it’s green…And it might mutate to…light green (I’m just sayin’). Nonetheless, this proud, but unexciting stalwart deserves our respect, as it does serve as the “launch pad” for many into the world of “Z’s and P’s.” It can be a nice prolific "contrast" piece in a mixed collection, and is super hardy. Then again, it’s pretty boring…
Don't let the name fool you. It's not cool. "Radioactive" means "avoid!"
Pom Pom Xenia- What?! I know, it’s an institution. A right of passage for many hobbyists. Their first coral, and one that is elegant, prolific, hardy, and…well…dull. I mean, let’s be honest. This is the "Toyota Prius of corals": A model for sustainability. I mean, who’s dumb enough to purchase a wild Xenia? Who ADMITS to it, anyways? And, like the Prius, it’s…boring as heck. Exactly. Could you personally leave it off any list of the most boring corals? I suspect not. Sure, it pulses, and that entertains the kiddies for a while. How entertaining is the pulsing when it starts smothering everything else in your reef? Oh sure, some “experts” can’t keep the darned stuff alive- but is that a real problem? There MUST be a reason why there is no “Steve Tyree LE Xenia” out there. And, when you finally get tired of the “putty grey” color, it’s not the easiest thing to eradicate. Fortuantely, our hobby initiates hundreds of hapless newbies monthly who would be thrilled to have this pulsing pallor in their tanks…until their puppy love crush wears off, of course.
"Gimme a "D!" Gimme a "U!". Gimme an "L!" Gimme another "L!" What's it spell? XENIA!"
Montipora undata- Okay, I sell a lot of this stuff each month, and I wonder why? I mean, the genus Montipora is filled with some interesting corals…this one just doesn’t happen to be one of ‘em, IMHO. It starts with it’s OD Green coloration, and barely contrasting polyps. And it’s…an encrusting growth form. That’s fancy science talk for “it grows as quickly- and interestingly- as a mountain range.” Yeah, you’ll see a lot of them in reef tanks…I mean, you’ll see them. You won't care. Is it overstating the obvious that your reef tank isn’t going to get much notice for housing this coral? Yeah, it is. I mean, maybe it serves as a “buffer zone” for stands of more interesting corals in your reef. I dunno. I have to ask why it sells so well? Shh, don’t question this, Fellman. You’ll stifle sales!” No, I’ll stifle a yawn.
It's no "Jedi Mind Trick." It's just a boring coral.
Clove Polyp - Yes, I’m ripping on the humble Clavularia…Not the “Papaya” morph or the “Neon Green Center” morph, mind you. Those are cool. I’m ripping on the dull-colored “pink” (Really? That’s not pink, guys!) morph that still makes its appearance at LFS and online vendor sites around the world. Why? Sure, it’s easy to keep. Sure, it’s a coral. Sure, it’s prolific. But I just don’t get it. And most of it’s actually wild collected, which begs the question…why? We call this industry “box filler”, as you occasionally have to take “x” amount of dull to get the two or three killer pieces you ordered. The “upside” as its proponents would proffer: It’s easy to keep. I ask you why do so-called “easy” corals have to be so darn frumpy looking? This coral is what happens when you start with the colorless aesthetic of Pulsing Xenia and then delete any potentially redeeming characteristic from it (at least Xenia pulses, for goodness sake). If you’re looking to create an area on your reef that you’d rather not leave bare, but don’t want to call any attention to, either, this could be your coral. Then again. You may just want to pull out some rock instead…
Cualustrea- Yup- the “Trumpet” has been blown too much, IMHO. And I’m not attacking the cool “Toxic Green” ones. I’m talking about that dull “peach colored” (that’s a real stretch) version. It looked great under Actinics in the 1980's. I mean, its morphology gives it some points that make it somewhat less boring, but it doesn’t exactly get your blood pumping. To the untrained eye it’s oddly reminiscent of one of those ugly little mushrooms you yank out of your vegetable garden every day, right? To its credit, it’s reasonably hardy, and readily available, but even if it weren’t, there is little this coral offers that would discourage a “meh” from visitors to your reef. Oh, sure, it’s a testimony to the diversity of nature, blah, blah…In my book, it’s a testimony to our industry’s ability to sell anything called a “coral”…well done, guys, well done.
Duncanopsammia- Yikes! He’s dissing a favorite! Yeah, I am. Okay, don’t get me wrong, some morphs of the “Whisker Coral”, as it’s known, are pretty. But some of the ones I see are just kind of…dull. I mean, sure, they were a big deal about 6 years ago, and being from Australia, they are typically collected by responsible outfits with a focus on sustainability. However, let’s be honest with ourselves. They are painfully boring. But, boredom is often the price of our sustainability, isn’t it? This coral doesn’t just look plain, IMHO. It’s plain dull. Please do read the book by it’s cover…Many of the varieties don’t “develop” into more colorful specimens. They start dull and end dull, so choose carefully!
Call it what you want to. I call it...dull.
Palythoa grandis- Well, we don’t call this ultra-big, brown and white Paly “The Big Ugly” for nothing. Okay, it IS a bit unusual, and it IS not all that common (good start..), but it really is kind of dull. By some accounts, it’s THE Palythoa to have. It’s an “antihero”- a bland statement in a sea of “named” morphs, and you can tell your snobby “Z and P” friends that you have a relatively rare coral in your midst that doesn’t have a stupid name attached to it. You’ll get respect, but at no point will you be named the wild one in your posse, trust me.
It may be so dull that it's sorta cool. Nah.
Okay, okay, I could go on all day ruining sales, but, with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. I’m sure you could add dozens more corals to this list. Dozens. I didn’t really even touch on Acros, did I? Oh, I’ll have to have at them another time. And seriously, every coral in reality is precious. The fact that, twenty something years into the “modern” reefing era that I can even think of penning a piece on “boring” corals is quite remarkable. With external pressures threatening the natural reefs daily, we do need to treasure some of these “dull” corals. We need to treasure ALL corals.
But then again, these are soooo boring…
Okay, please add to this list if you’re in the mood. Otherwise, just buy more coral. There, I redeemed myself to my industry.
I’m such a sellout…
Until next time: Stay engaged, stay focused…
And Stay Wet.
Scott Fellman
Unique Corals.
“Uh, oh, Fellman is shooting himself in the foot again; he’s going to talk about something that’s going to give his own industry a kick in the rear…?”
Maybe. Maybe not. Well, yeah. Probably.
I thought it might be fun to take a break today from ripping on some hobby institution to play a little game of “Rag on the industry AND hobby…?” Woah. A "two for one." In this case, what are the most, well…boring- corals available today? I mean, what are corals that, although they may be great, are just not all that exciting? Remember, “dull” does not mean “bad.” It just means…dull. Well, pull up a glass of warm milk and get comfy, and we’ll try to keep you awake today.
“Radioactive” Zoanthid- Okay, on first glance, it’s about as characterless as a coral can be, right? It has all the trappings of a real snoozer: Monochromatic color, predictable morphology, and massive availability. I mean, you can get this morph just about anywhere corals are sold, and possibly, even in places where they aren’t (I mean, Wal-Mart could probably carry this one). It’s a predictably dull morph. In fact, I’d hazard a guess and suggest that this morph seems least likely to mutate among any of the other zoo morphs we keep in the hobby. I mean, it’s green…And it might mutate to…light green (I’m just sayin’). Nonetheless, this proud, but unexciting stalwart deserves our respect, as it does serve as the “launch pad” for many into the world of “Z’s and P’s.” It can be a nice prolific "contrast" piece in a mixed collection, and is super hardy. Then again, it’s pretty boring…
Don't let the name fool you. It's not cool. "Radioactive" means "avoid!"
Pom Pom Xenia- What?! I know, it’s an institution. A right of passage for many hobbyists. Their first coral, and one that is elegant, prolific, hardy, and…well…dull. I mean, let’s be honest. This is the "Toyota Prius of corals": A model for sustainability. I mean, who’s dumb enough to purchase a wild Xenia? Who ADMITS to it, anyways? And, like the Prius, it’s…boring as heck. Exactly. Could you personally leave it off any list of the most boring corals? I suspect not. Sure, it pulses, and that entertains the kiddies for a while. How entertaining is the pulsing when it starts smothering everything else in your reef? Oh sure, some “experts” can’t keep the darned stuff alive- but is that a real problem? There MUST be a reason why there is no “Steve Tyree LE Xenia” out there. And, when you finally get tired of the “putty grey” color, it’s not the easiest thing to eradicate. Fortuantely, our hobby initiates hundreds of hapless newbies monthly who would be thrilled to have this pulsing pallor in their tanks…until their puppy love crush wears off, of course.
"Gimme a "D!" Gimme a "U!". Gimme an "L!" Gimme another "L!" What's it spell? XENIA!"
Montipora undata- Okay, I sell a lot of this stuff each month, and I wonder why? I mean, the genus Montipora is filled with some interesting corals…this one just doesn’t happen to be one of ‘em, IMHO. It starts with it’s OD Green coloration, and barely contrasting polyps. And it’s…an encrusting growth form. That’s fancy science talk for “it grows as quickly- and interestingly- as a mountain range.” Yeah, you’ll see a lot of them in reef tanks…I mean, you’ll see them. You won't care. Is it overstating the obvious that your reef tank isn’t going to get much notice for housing this coral? Yeah, it is. I mean, maybe it serves as a “buffer zone” for stands of more interesting corals in your reef. I dunno. I have to ask why it sells so well? Shh, don’t question this, Fellman. You’ll stifle sales!” No, I’ll stifle a yawn.
It's no "Jedi Mind Trick." It's just a boring coral.
Clove Polyp - Yes, I’m ripping on the humble Clavularia…Not the “Papaya” morph or the “Neon Green Center” morph, mind you. Those are cool. I’m ripping on the dull-colored “pink” (Really? That’s not pink, guys!) morph that still makes its appearance at LFS and online vendor sites around the world. Why? Sure, it’s easy to keep. Sure, it’s a coral. Sure, it’s prolific. But I just don’t get it. And most of it’s actually wild collected, which begs the question…why? We call this industry “box filler”, as you occasionally have to take “x” amount of dull to get the two or three killer pieces you ordered. The “upside” as its proponents would proffer: It’s easy to keep. I ask you why do so-called “easy” corals have to be so darn frumpy looking? This coral is what happens when you start with the colorless aesthetic of Pulsing Xenia and then delete any potentially redeeming characteristic from it (at least Xenia pulses, for goodness sake). If you’re looking to create an area on your reef that you’d rather not leave bare, but don’t want to call any attention to, either, this could be your coral. Then again. You may just want to pull out some rock instead…
Cualustrea- Yup- the “Trumpet” has been blown too much, IMHO. And I’m not attacking the cool “Toxic Green” ones. I’m talking about that dull “peach colored” (that’s a real stretch) version. It looked great under Actinics in the 1980's. I mean, its morphology gives it some points that make it somewhat less boring, but it doesn’t exactly get your blood pumping. To the untrained eye it’s oddly reminiscent of one of those ugly little mushrooms you yank out of your vegetable garden every day, right? To its credit, it’s reasonably hardy, and readily available, but even if it weren’t, there is little this coral offers that would discourage a “meh” from visitors to your reef. Oh, sure, it’s a testimony to the diversity of nature, blah, blah…In my book, it’s a testimony to our industry’s ability to sell anything called a “coral”…well done, guys, well done.
Duncanopsammia- Yikes! He’s dissing a favorite! Yeah, I am. Okay, don’t get me wrong, some morphs of the “Whisker Coral”, as it’s known, are pretty. But some of the ones I see are just kind of…dull. I mean, sure, they were a big deal about 6 years ago, and being from Australia, they are typically collected by responsible outfits with a focus on sustainability. However, let’s be honest with ourselves. They are painfully boring. But, boredom is often the price of our sustainability, isn’t it? This coral doesn’t just look plain, IMHO. It’s plain dull. Please do read the book by it’s cover…Many of the varieties don’t “develop” into more colorful specimens. They start dull and end dull, so choose carefully!
Call it what you want to. I call it...dull.
Palythoa grandis- Well, we don’t call this ultra-big, brown and white Paly “The Big Ugly” for nothing. Okay, it IS a bit unusual, and it IS not all that common (good start..), but it really is kind of dull. By some accounts, it’s THE Palythoa to have. It’s an “antihero”- a bland statement in a sea of “named” morphs, and you can tell your snobby “Z and P” friends that you have a relatively rare coral in your midst that doesn’t have a stupid name attached to it. You’ll get respect, but at no point will you be named the wild one in your posse, trust me.
It may be so dull that it's sorta cool. Nah.
Okay, okay, I could go on all day ruining sales, but, with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. I’m sure you could add dozens more corals to this list. Dozens. I didn’t really even touch on Acros, did I? Oh, I’ll have to have at them another time. And seriously, every coral in reality is precious. The fact that, twenty something years into the “modern” reefing era that I can even think of penning a piece on “boring” corals is quite remarkable. With external pressures threatening the natural reefs daily, we do need to treasure some of these “dull” corals. We need to treasure ALL corals.
But then again, these are soooo boring…
Okay, please add to this list if you’re in the mood. Otherwise, just buy more coral. There, I redeemed myself to my industry.
I’m such a sellout…
Until next time: Stay engaged, stay focused…
And Stay Wet.
Scott Fellman
Unique Corals.
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