Anyone up for a fun thread? What’s the worst meal you or someone ever cooked for you?

[Mastiffsrule]

Hi everyone,

I made the ultimate (and weirdest even for me) cooking error ever tonight. You know when you make meatballs you get all you ingredients and put them in a bowl and mix them up and cook them. Well, it doesn’t work so good if you cook the meat before mixing everything. After my wife saw that she asked me to sit down for a little while. And this is coming from someone that when she cooks for me and my kid we say don’t make it mommy style, ie. burnt.

Tell me your funniest failed cooking story. I know they are out there.

 

[ndrwater]

My girlfriend at the time, now my wife of 13 years tried to kill me...
That's what I tell her, our kids, and anybody who will listen..
The very first time she cooked for me I got sick.. like fire hose at both ends sick... For 2 days.....
And I have done the cooking since.. I also like to say she burns water...

 

[Thespammailaccount]

Here is a good one told by my father. My dad has three brothers. One of the brothers kept inviting friends over and would raid the refrigerator. One night my uncle invited over a few friends. My grandfather asked the boys if he could get them something to eat. The boys said yes of course. So my grandfather went to the kitchen and made a special dish a can of dog food with crackers. The boys eat it all and asked if there was anymore left. My grandfather brought them the empty can of dog food and said he was all out

 

[Mastiffsrule]

My girlfriend at the time, now my wife of 13 years tried to kill me...
That's what I tell her, our kids, and anybody who will listen..
The very first time she cooked for me I got sick.. like fire hose at both ends sick... For 2 days.....
And I have done the cooking since.. I also like to say she burns water...

My wife did the same thing with Cornish game hens ;Woot

 

[Potatohead]

I once had an apple cobbler where someone mixed up the sugar and salt... That was interesting.

 

[LRT]

Pad Thai my Thai wife who can cook some real authentic good Thai foods sucks at Pad Thai but she acknowledges that lol.
On another note she also cooks gourmet meals for the dogs and my Bull Mastiff eats better than me hahaha

 

[AmaleeC]

Lol well let’s just say I’m not the finest in the kitchen. I can cook just fine, and my family LOVES my lasagna and chili. But I have my days in the kitchen where things just don’t go so well lol

One time I had been wanting spaghetti for about a week and decided I’ll just cook it myself. I pulled up a Tasty video to make it really fancy, and got out the regular ingredients. I bought the sauce sold in a bottle, angel hair pasta, and some ground beef. I got home, and started to get to work. I pull up the Tasty video and realized that I didn’t even have half the ingredients that they used. But I wanted to follow the video for one pot pasta sooo bad - I did it their style with what I did have. Well, it resulted in the mushiest, tasteless spaghetti I’ve ever eaten. In my cousins words, “It’s good, but it’s like play doh” lol

 

[Scape]

Fish

 

[Mastiffsrule]

I got a 2 for 1 tonight. I’m upstairs, I yell downstairs what smell. Wife burnt (mommy styled) the microwave popcorn!?!?;duh

 

[fish farmer]

When fish are considered "great in chowder" that means you chop them up in little pieces and hide them in potatos, spices and milk.

Anyway I had caught some scup and have never really tried them. I'm a decent cook so we gave them a shot on vacation. I think I filleted and breaded them and pan fried, usually pretty standard way to cook fish. They came out very fishy and strong.........I'll use them for bait next time.

My mom and I tried cooking sea urchin one time...this was years ago before sushi was a thing in the US. I think we boiled them and then they went in the trash.

 

[Sailingeric]

My wife is a great cook and she tries new things all the time and 99.99% of the time they turn out great but one time a few years ago she made pumpkin chili. We both took one bite and into the trash it went.

 

[george51349]

I think the worst was when my sister made a birthday cake for my brother's birthday. Even though it was a regular chocolate box cake, she messed it up so bad. It was as dense as a brick, and had clumps of baked egg whites which weren't properly mixed in. Needless to say, she left culinary school soon after.

 

[Crustaceon]

Boxed Fettuccine Alfredo. We didn’t have normal milk on hand so she went with what she thought was close... ALMOND MILK...

It was absolutely vile.

 

[Rick.45cal]

When I was in culinary school many years ago one of our classes was with a French Master Chef, who was extremely strict, and very old school. He was also relatively senile and more than a little passionate (crazy). When he was young and dragged into a professional kitchen by his grandfather, there was a rule that if you burned it you had to eat it. He warned us not to burn anything in his kitchen otherwise we would be eating it. I took him very seriously, especially after he told us his grandfather had made him eat an entire sheet tray of burned chickens he was supposed to roast and had forgotten about while in the oven, he assured us, it was the last time he ever burned anything. (I believed him wholeheartedly).

So flash forward to my less than talented blockmate (class member) who really wasn’t cut out to be a professional chef (He sucked). He managed to scorch about 5 gallons of New England Clam Chowder (the cream type) Which was for that days service. Guess what... he spent everyday for the next week eating burnt clam chowder before service. I’m not sure if any of you have ever tried a scorched cream based soup before, but it’s absolutely repugnant! I suspect he did a fair amount of puking everyday after choking down as much as he could before service. Chef Michelle stuck to his guns with his policy, I’m not sure Ryan ate it all, but he learned his lesson. I can tell you what I made sure I never burned anything after watching that experience!

 

[LRT]

My Ex was literally afraid to burn water making spaghetti noodles.
True story

 

[vetteguy53081]

Liver - yuk

 

[xxkenny90xx]

I do alot of fishing and crabbing here in Washington state, one day we caught an unusual amount of small eels so we thought we'd give them a try on the BBQ. OMG wow they were the fishiest tasting thing I've ever tried. Straight to the trash!

 

[Reefer Reboot]

My wife is an excellent cook 99% of the time. But once she misread a recipe that called for 1/3 of a bouillon cube. She saw the 3 but missed the 1/ part. So in went 3 bouillon cubes....... and out went that dish.
Then there was the time our kids decided to pull a little prank on me. There was one piece of pumpkin pie left and I pulled rank and called dibs on it. So they sliced it open horizontally and slid a slice of raw onion in it. Then they served it up to me all slathered in whipped cream. First bite, (missed the onion) yummy. Second bite.......ACK!;Vomit Just about lost my entire dinner. That was the worst combination I think I have ever had.;Yuck

 

[ScottR]

Anything my Chinese mother in law makes. I love Chinese food but her style is....;Dead

 

[fish farmer]

Anything my Chinese mother in law makes. I love Chinese food but her style is....;Dead

What is that gray/brown thing? Stinky tofu?