Do you tell your SO what you spend on your tank?

[G Santana]

Honesty is the best policy as long as you have a comfortable sofa to sleep on

 

[Freenow54]

Keeping secrets from your wife/husband/significant other?

Is that a sound strategy for a healthy relationship?

Be honest and let them scream about it all they want.

I cant argue that one. But waited until I retired , and no debt at all before I started into salt. I set rules before she got married so she could decide. Just three and said never try to stop me from doing it ( hunting, fishing, and Aquariums ( fresh ) I don't need my wife to set my conscience. She honestly hardly askes. It obviously expensive. When my Son, and I started one together she loved it.

 

[Hydrored]

Mine doesn't care and I don't care what she buys as long as it doesn't go on a credit card, touch our retirement, or emergency fund.

 

[Cell]

God no. I have to smuggle out the styrofoam coolers.

 

[Coralsdaily]

My wife is as much invested in the tanks as I am, so yes, she knows lol.

The trick is to buy her a pretty fish and call it hers, then you can always tell her the investment is for her fish

 

[Coralsdaily]

Ex wife knew and hated it. Literally hate as in she would over feed the fish when I traveled to try and kill them .

Current GF knows and doesn't care, as she puts it, it kinda keeps me out of trouble as idle hands are the devil's play things. Lol

That’s what I tell my wife- the money I spend on the tank could have gone to alcohol or gambling, it can always be worse

 

[Coralsdaily]

The question should be am i being told about all the costs that our 4 hunter jumper horses cost just to take to a show.

One month alone in board, feed and training costs twice my entire systems value that I could ever hope to sell it for. Point is, yes we're very open there isn't a reason not to be, we're a ride or die team.

You are lucky your family has other more expensive hobbies to dwarf the reefing cost

 

[Coralsdaily]

No secrets when you keep separate accounts. We used to hide things from each other when we were younger. I mean things we would purchase that would surely cause a disagreement.I recently had a paddle board show up at my door. I didn't utter a word. A 25 lagoon tank mysteriously showed up last week along with all the gear to start a new frag tank. Not a word was said other than where are you putting it. The caveat is it only works if you truly trust and respect one another.

I uesd to work for designer clothing retail. If you can justify $5k for a dress, you cannot complain a guy spending $500 on a fish

 

[Coralsdaily]

God no. I have to smuggle out the styrofoam coolers.

Rid the evidence, cleaver man

 

[Lavey29]

Not if I want to enjoy my golden years

 

[Calm Blue Ocean]

I never fib

 

[KrisReef]

Forget about my wife, I don't want to know. I have four MP40's and four MP10's....that I purchased individually over the years. If I start to think about the cost of replacing all eight, my brain starts to say, lah, lah, lah, lah....I don't want to know, because it's some disgusting amount of money.

And no, she has no idea and never asked. But she has her own hobbies and I never ask what she spends on her tchotchkes.

My wife knew the word tchotchkes, I didn't.
She went to a gem show yesterday and decided not to buy the 30K necklace ("on sale for $11,000!"). She knows we need the money for new window treatments and other remodeling costs. She just doesn't know that I'm planning a tank remodel to match the new kitchen, floors, windows, heat pump, etc.

 

[Yates273]

Wifey does the bills she probably knows more than me. I would rather it that way. I don’t want to know how much I spend. I just have to hear every once and a while. “Do you know how much you spend on that tank ? “

 

[Dom]

No secrets when you keep separate accounts.

Do each of you see the other's accounts?

 

[Lyss]

Honestly not trying to be difficult at all, but these types of posts always seem to assume that those who run tanks are men, and women are only interested in buying "shoes and bags." There are plenty of women in the hobby, and I can say that I haven't bought a pair of shoes or a bag in a very long time lol. Mostly I'm spending on my reef, sometimes new tops so I look put together for client Zoom calls (lol), and if I'm not putting the extra m money there it's going into decorating the apartment: new furniture, framing artwork, etc.

As for honesty... Yes it is always the best policy. I wouldn't go out and drop $2K on a new tank and all new stuff from a joint account or CC w/o discussing it w/my SO first, but for smaller things it's usually not a big deal. I think the key is to either get involved w/someone else who also enjoys the hobby, or at the very least make sure your SO understands the hobby and what you do to build and maintain your tank and livestock.

 

[Freenow54]

Not if I want to enjoy my golden years

Now That IS FUNNY! The last lie to us

 

[Freenow54]

Honestly not trying to be difficult at all, but these types of posts always seem to assume that those who run tanks are men, and women are only interested in buying "shoes and bags." There are plenty of women in the hobby, and I can say that I haven't bought a pair of shoes or a bag in a very long time lol. Mostly I'm spending on my reef, sometimes new tops so I look put together for client Zoom calls (lol), and if I'm not putting the extra m money there it's going into decorating the apartment: new furniture, framing artwork, etc.

As for honesty... Yes it is always the best policy. I wouldn't go out and drop $2K on a new tank and all new stuff from a joint account or CC w/o discussing it w/my SO first, but for smaller things it's usually not a big deal. I think the key is to either get involved w/someone else who also enjoys the hobby, or at the very least make sure your SO understands the hobby and what you do to build and maintain your tank and livestock.

Was waiting patiently for this. I used to work in Customer service going to peoples homes fixing furnaces Ac"s and the likes. Three times I saw something that needed immediate attention elsewhere. I would see tools laying about, and would tell the lady " your husband " needs to do this. Reply: Those are my tools my husband is useless, and my dad taught me. lol

 

[shakacuz]

i only share the "deals"

 

[Lbrdsoxfan]

The trick is to buy her a pretty fish and call it hers, then you can always tell her the investment is for her fish.

She did that on her own, lol. Pink streak fairy wrasse. Went to the usual LFS I deal with, picked it, had owner qt the fish, bought it, acclimated it, dropped it in and then told me we had a new fish.

Also bought a RBTA for me, that apparently was stressful for her as she wasn't sure I wanted it. It worked out and mama Tomato clown embraced it immediately!

 

[Lbrdsoxfan]

My wife knew the word tchotchkes, I didn't.
She went to a gem show yesterday and decided not to buy the 30K necklace ("on sale for $11,000!"). She knows we need the money for new window treatments and other remodeling costs. She just doesn't know that I'm planning a tank remodel to match the new kitchen, floors, windows, heat pump, etc.

Perfect time to upgrade! We're planning new flooring and a kitchen redo. I'm squirreling away coin for a 180g.