Do you tell your SO what you spend on your tank?

[Grimmj]

My wife likes expensive purses. She will tell me what they cost but honestly I don't ask; just shake my head. She doesn't ask about the fish tank, but just shakes her head when something new arrives. Bills are paid and we each have our own fun money accounts though. If she is happy I am happy and the fish are happy.

 

[Mical]

 

[KStatefan]

I do not tell myself how much I spend on hobbies. She does not ask. She did go to a LFS with me a couple weeks ago and said she like the most expensive torch they had.

 

[KrisReef]

Honestly not trying to be difficult at all, but these types of posts always seem to assume that those who run tanks are men, and women are only interested in buying "shoes and bags." There are plenty of women in the hobby, and I can say that I haven't bought a pair of shoes or a bag in a very long time lol. Mostly I'm spending on my reef, sometimes new tops so I look put together for client Zoom calls (lol), and if I'm not putting the extra m money there it's going into decorating the apartment: new furniture, framing artwork, etc.

As for honesty... Yes it is always the best policy. I wouldn't go out and drop $2K on a new tank and all new stuff from a joint account or CC w/o discussing it w/my SO first, but for smaller things it's usually not a big deal. I think the key is to either get involved w/someone else who also enjoys the hobby, or at the very least make sure your SO understands the hobby and what you do to build and maintain your tank and livestock.

I buy lots of clothes and purses (and not just mail order lingerie pajamas at Christmas) for my wife. I get a lot of hard looks shopping in stores from sales people who I think assume I'm a drag person when I go shopping. People cannot help how they think about others, it's the human condition and people are not perfect. Sorry for the male centered posts from us reefboys. The tables are tilted and we have to struggle to remember the few among us who don't fit the typical mold. Well I'm too stupid to continue trying to explain or appologize and make any sense, so I'm stopping here.

 

[csnv]

i shop, she pays.. i hate paying so when we're together, she's usually paying for me..

edit: hmm it doesn't sound right.. gonna leave it there and clarify, we have everything shared for the last 20 years. house with both names, same bank accounts, same cc, same investment.. everything is together.

 

[Coralsdaily]

Honestly not trying to be difficult at all, but these types of posts always seem to assume that those who run tanks are men, and women are only interested in buying "shoes and bags." There are plenty of women in the hobby, and I can say that I haven't bought a pair of shoes or a bag in a very long time lol. Mostly I'm spending on my reef, sometimes new tops so I look put together for client Zoom calls (lol), and if I'm not putting the extra m money there it's going into decorating the apartment: new furniture, framing artwork, etc.

As for honesty... Yes it is always the best policy. I wouldn't go out and drop $2K on a new tank and all new stuff from a joint account or CC w/o discussing it w/my SO first, but for smaller things it's usually not a big deal. I think the key is to either get involved w/someone else who also enjoys the hobby, or at the very least make sure your SO understands the hobby and what you do to build and maintain your tank and livestock.

We are material boy/girls living in a material world ^_^

 

[Coralsdaily]

I buy lots of clothes and purses (and not just mail order lingerie pajamas at Christmas) for my wife. I get a lot of hard looks shopping in stores from sales people who I think assume I'm a drag person when I go shopping. People cannot help how they think about others, it's the human condition and people are not perfect. Sorry for the male centered posts from us reefboys. The tables are tilted and we have to struggle to remember the few among us who don't fit the typical mold. Well I'm too stupid to continue trying to explain or appologize and make any sense, so I'm stopping here.

Though unfortunate, stereotypes do have their origins. Some guys blow their cash on gadgets and cars, some invest in tanks. Some ladies like shoes and bags and some invest in other Hobbies. I don’t think it is people’s intention to generalize boys to tanks and girls to fashion. I think they are simply easy representative of all the objects we can have obsessions in. I don’t believe anyone on this thread meant any disrespect towards each other and all the different gender groups.

 

[fish farmer]

Honestly not trying to be difficult at all, but these types of posts always seem to assume that those who run tanks are men, and women are only interested in buying "shoes and bags." There are plenty of women in the hobby, and I can say that I haven't bought a pair of shoes or a bag in a very long time lol. Mostly I'm spending on my reef, sometimes new tops so I look put together for client Zoom calls (lol), and if I'm not putting the extra m money there it's going into decorating the apartment: new furniture, framing artwork, etc.

As for honesty... Yes it is always the best policy. I wouldn't go out and drop $2K on a new tank and all new stuff from a joint account or CC w/o discussing it w/my SO first, but for smaller things it's usually not a big deal. I think the key is to either get involved w/someone else who also enjoys the hobby, or at the very least make sure your SO understands the hobby and what you do to build and maintain your tank and livestock.

Since my wife started to work from home she stopped buying new clothes....sometimes she wears her PJ's to work.

My wife's hobby is music...she's been eyeing tongue drums recently.

 

[Willhersh34]

My wife shares the hobby with me and full disclosure she encouraged me to setup my first reef tank in my office. So she knows what it costs, not that she’s cool with the cost but she knows and better yet when I can save a buck it goes with her ”I got a deal” endorphins. Lol

 

[RichReef]

I don't really have that problem because I would never spend more than 40 dollars on any coral. Ever. All my corals started as frags that I grew out and then fragged. Walk into my coral guy's store with 20-30 frags and just trade up. Sometimes huge pieces that I had to trim off. Rinse and repeat and just keep trading up. I have some very expensive corals but it's not like I bought them. Just some glue, plugs, and a little time.

 

[Sebastiancrab]

I buy lots of clothes and purses (and not just mail order lingerie pajamas at Christmas) for my wife. I get a lot of hard looks shopping in stores from sales people who I think assume I'm a drag person when I go shopping. People cannot help how they think about others, it's the human condition and people are not perfect. Sorry for the male centered posts from us reefboys. The tables are tilted and we have to struggle to remember the few among us who don't fit the typical mold. Well I'm too stupid to continue trying to explain or appologize and make any sense, so I'm stopping here.

You know there is no typical mold only stereotypes. I have never been a big spender on clothes, purses, shoes etc. I have spent a reasonable amount on my tank. I love to travel and that is big bucks. Probably the biggest advantage to being single or divorced is you don't have to answer to anyone how you spend your money. Money is one of the top reasons for divorce. I think if you lie you are sowing the seeds of destruction to the foundation of your marriage which is trust.

 

[Conchman]

Just putting the final touches on the new house, my wife got exactly the counters she wanted, no questions asked. She knows how it's going to work, when I want a new tank, guitar or gun, I just point to the counter, discussion ends there...

 

[ColoredRock]

I dont ask what she spends on books and teaching supplies.. she doesnt ask what I spend on the tank. If it is a big $$ item we talk.. $200 plus.

Yes she is a nut.. but loves her job.

 

[Lyss]

Since my wife started to work from home she stopped buying new clothes....sometimes she wears her PJ's to work.

My wife's hobby is music...she's been eyeing tongue drums recently.

I definitely wear either PJ or yoga pants on the bottom, but I’ve purchased a few fancy tops to wear on client zooms so it looks like I’m dressed lol. On internal zooms, colleagues just get sweatshirts.

My other hobby is houseplants. I collect cacti and succulents, and also some tropicals. And after that it’s painting/mixed media, and interior design — I’m a designer so I’m obsessed with all things design.

 

[polyppal]

Do you tell your significant other the actual price tag on what you spend on your equipments or livestock?

 

[Coralsdaily]

Just putting the final touches on the new house, my wife got exactly the counters she wanted, no questions asked. She knows how it's going to work, when I want a new tank, guitar or gun, I just point to the counter, discussion ends there...

That’s what good relationship is about- having to compromise and accept each others choices

 

[Coralsdaily]

I definitely wear either PJ or yoga pants on the bottom, but I’ve purchased a few fancy tops to wear on client zooms so it looks like I’m dressed lol. On internal zooms, colleagues just get sweatshirts.

My other hobby is houseplants. I collect cacti and succulents, and also some tropicals. And after that it’s painting/mixed media, and interior design — I’m a designer so I’m obsessed with all things design.

It is surprising how much reefers have in common outside of fishtanks- I know plenty others including myself who are both coral and succulant collectors. I feel people like us have an instinct to grow and nurture things

 

[homer1475]

My wife is the CFO of the relationship, of course she knows. If I want to buy something, I ask first if I can. But she likes the hobby just as much as I do, and probably spends more on livestock then I do. I spend my half on the gadgets, and stuff to keep the system running.

 

[fish farmer]

It is surprising how much reefers have in common outside of fishtanks- I know plenty others including myself who are both coral and succulant collectors. I feel people like us have an instinct to grow and nurture things

My work is at a state trout hatchery. I also have flower/ veggie gardens, two cats and a dog. I also do most of the cooking in the house so I also feed the wife. I would have indoor plants but....two cats.

My instinct probably due to genetics, my grandfather was a dairy farmer and dad was a big animal vet.