Has passive aggressive, can be interpreted as insulting comments always been the norm on R2R?

Alex Sadowsky

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I have noticed in the last few days on a lot of threads that there is a level of passive aggressiveness that I’m not comfortable with. I have read numerous posts that seem insulting and then when someone responds, the person backs off. Is it unintentional? Is it that people don’t read their posts to see how it can be interpreted. I noticed this when members have opposing views on things. Maybe it’s not even passive aggressiveness. I just know I was sitting up all night last night (we are in the hospital, my wife gave birth to our second daughter) and I was getting angry at the way some members “speak” to others on the forum. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m just interpreting things incorrectly. Does anyone else feel this way?
 

Ranjib

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If you find something thats clearly offensive, report it. In my experience the devil is in the details, and theres rarely any universal principal that governs all these conversations. The best you can do is to bring them up and discuss with an open mind which brings out more perspectives and common grounds etc.
 

maroun.c

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Congrats on your daughter Alex.
New daughter, ur most probably getting too much sentimental and protective I'd say :)))
Now seriously we try to be a very family oriented forum where any offensive, disrespectful posts are immediately dealt with and posters notified.
Again it's a forum and the true sentiments cant be seen on text so sometimes the tone can be misunderstood in both ways. Suggest you report any post u find offensive as the team cant always be on top of each and every post to deal with instantly.
Congrats again and hope baby and mom are doing great.
 

LadyMac

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Congratulations! My daughter is 19, so enjoy these days!

I’m also pretty sarcastic but I do try to keep in check and only respond like that on threads where it wouldn’t usually be insulting. I may miss a few and if so I do apologize. That being said, definitely use the report button if something is offensive.
 

LisaMarie

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Congrats on the baby! If you feel something said is out of line you should definitely report, even if it's just to get another set of eyes on it. This is the only forum I'm part of because the other forums just aren't friendly. I'd rather err on the side of caution than let this wonderful forum start going downhill :) so many great folks here!
 

Dr. Dendrostein

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I have noticed in the last few days on a lot of threads that there is a level of passive aggressiveness that I’m not comfortable with. I have read numerous posts that seem insulting and then when someone responds, the person backs off. Is it unintentional? Is it that people don’t read their posts to see how it can be interpreted. I noticed this when members have opposing views on things. Maybe it’s not even passive aggressiveness. I just know I was sitting up all night last night (we are in the hospital, my wife gave birth to our second daughter) and I was getting angry at the way some members “speak” to others on the forum. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m just interpreting things incorrectly. Does anyone else feel this way?
Congrats on second baby, haven't seen an old friend for few years, but he wanted a boy badly, he got 7 girls.
 

Bleigh

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I have noticed in the last few days on a lot of threads that there is a level of passive aggressiveness that I’m not comfortable with. I have read numerous posts that seem insulting and then when someone responds, the person backs off. Is it unintentional? Is it that people don’t read their posts to see how it can be interpreted. I noticed this when members have opposing views on things. Maybe it’s not even passive aggressiveness. I just know I was sitting up all night last night (we are in the hospital, my wife gave birth to our second daughter) and I was getting angry at the way some members “speak” to others on the forum. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m just interpreting things incorrectly. Does anyone else feel this way?
Congrats to the new baby! That’s exciting!

I think it depends. There are people from all over the world here, so cultural norms may vary greatly. Also, people are passionate about this hobby. I wouldn’t be surprised if that passion doesn’t bleed out sometimes. From my experience, most people don’t mean to be ugly. Sometimes people are typing while at work or with family and can come across as abrupt because they’re busy with other things - not because they mean to be rude. Also, some people have made real friendships on here. Something that may seem rude, may be them just bantering.

But if you see something that really is problematic, feel free to report it. You can also report people for being awesome. (Feel free to report me for amazing humor. Cause we all know, I think I’m the funniest person in the room.)
 
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Tiger Brown

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@Bleigh- that is a super astute comment, this really is a multi-national forum and there certainly are different cultural norms, I didn't even think of that.

I must be reading the right posts, I have rarely, if ever, seen a post I considered rude on here. Disagreements? Of course, but outright rudeness? Super rare IME.
 
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Alex Sadowsky

Alex Sadowsky

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Thank you all for the well wishes!

I have not seen any one single post that is insulting to the point where it needs to be reported. I guess I can try to clarify my thoughts more. I guess I noticed that when there is a disagreement in a thread someone tends to become somewhat aggressive in how they respond and they word things in a “not nice” way (feels intentional) but then they back off the comment. It’s not noticeable if you just read the one comment. But reading an entire thread you see it.

I agree, it is the internet and I guess this is what happens. I personally proofread anything I write on the internet at least 5 times (seriously), probably because I’m a teacher.
 

Dana Riddle

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Things have calmed down considerably since the flame wars we saw on some of the forums back in the 90's. There's the old saying 'Smile when you say that' - impossible on the internet, and sometimes difficult to interpret true meaning.
 

LadyMac

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Congrats to the new baby! That’s exciting!

I think it depends. There are people from all over the world here, so cultural norms may vary greatly. Also, people are passionate about this hobby. I wouldn’t be surprised if that passion doesn’t bleed out sometimes. From my experience, most people don’t mean to be ugly. Sometimes people are typing while at work or with family and can come across as abrupt because they’re busy with other things - not because they mean to be rude. Also, some people have made real friendships on here. Something that may seem rude, may be them just bantering.

But if you see something that really is problematic, feel free to report it. You can also report people for being awesome. (Feel free to report me for amazing humor. Cause we all know, I think I’m the funniest person in the room.)
This is a very good point. I remember a few years back, on a different forum a user was from, if I recall S. Africa. And a word we use a lot (I forgot what it is.) is highly offensive to him. And you wouldn’t think it would be however it means something completely different. So it’s easy to offend without realizing. I really wish I could recall the word, and the exact culture. I try to make known that I mean no offense to anyone, and if I do say something offensive in any ways, please tell me.
 

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