Has passive aggressive, can be interpreted as insulting comments always been the norm on R2R?

Corals.com

Mastiffsrule

Valuable Member
View Badges
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
3,487
Reaction score
13,531
Location
Charlotte
hi @Alex Sadowsky

I used to hate forums from prior experiences, until I came here. Give us a chance. You will learn the group dynamics. And even though you may see members in a tiff overall everyone here is great. Even those you may see going back and forth with each other does not necessarily mean you cannot have a productive interaction with them

And congrats. Pm me so I can give you my address for my cigar, I like macanudo
 

cromag27

octoaquatics.com - ig = @octoaquatics. view my sig
View Badges
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
7,633
Reaction score
10,350
Location
arizona
since everybody now days seems to catch feelings so easily, how about respect for everyone? no matter what class you’re in? don’t single people out for any reason. sarcastic, insulting, rude, crude, blunt.... doesn’t matter. everyone should get respect where it applies and when it’s deserved. don’t discriminate against me just because i am any of the above. these are life lessons, not just on r2r.
 

Bleigh

The lich queen
View Badges
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
3,002
Reaction score
9,871
Location
Charlotte
since everybody now days seems to catch feelings so easily, how about respect for everyone? no matter what class you’re in? don’t single people out for any reason. sarcastic, insulting, rude, crude, blunt.... doesn’t matter. everyone should get respect where it applies and when it’s deserved. don’t discriminate against me just because i am any of the above. these are life lessons, not just on r2r.
Well that’s just cause your spirit animal is the angry cat. ;Hilarious ;)

D717B8F5-755A-4D23-A0A3-63CE77C2A527.jpeg
 
Top Shelf Aquatics

code4

Well-Known Member
View Badges
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
674
Reaction score
1,211
Location
wyoming
I stay away from the few posts that I see are getting testy. Not enough hours in the day to allow others to ruin even a single one. Congratulations to you both for the birth of your new baby. Take a deep breath cause I am going to tell you what to do. And we all hate it when people tell us what to do. This is me using my best officer voice: put down the phone and spend the next 24 hours with only your new family. Or I will be forced to..........you.
 

ImNemo

Member
View Badges
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
69
Reaction score
97
Welcome to the interwebz. I could take a whizz in my tank and be more successful than half of the advice that I've seen given. Of course this is coming from two decades of trial and error.
 
OP
Alex Sadowsky

Alex Sadowsky

Active Member
View Badges
Joined
Jun 6, 2018
Messages
108
Reaction score
163
Location
Orlando, FL
This is me using my best officer voice: put down the phone and spend the next 24 hours with only your new family. Or I will be forced to..........you.
That made me laugh. The wife’s asleep, the baby is asleep and I’m staying awake till 11 so I can wake her up so she can request her pain meds. If I put this phone down and fall asleep she will ...... me.
 

Breadman03

Valuable Member
View Badges
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
1,651
Reaction score
1,466
Location
Luzerne County, PA
@Alex Sadowsky, ahem, I think it's time you got off of the Internet for a bit. That is, assuming you're still on Eastern time. It's time for your lady's meds. :)

Im sarcastic in person and sometimes i have to watch myself when typing.
My sarcasm has caused me to delete many things.
 

cromag27

octoaquatics.com - ig = @octoaquatics. view my sig
View Badges
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
7,633
Reaction score
10,350
Location
arizona
6940CE62-5ED5-4916-A9BE-3ACE3A4D1FC9.jpeg


*for the record. We’re friends in real life and I just enjoy picking on him.
that makes zero difference. just wait....

lol.
 

HB AL

Valuable Member
View Badges
Joined
Dec 4, 2016
Messages
1,802
Reaction score
2,111
Location
H.B, California
I really never really worry about things like that. Problem is talking on the internet versus in person you don’t have any idea of the persons tone or facial expressions when people post. There is also a thing called sarcasm and that can really be missed if you don’t know the person or are reading comments on the net. I wouldn’t really worry about it to much unless it involves serious personal attacks with foul language included. If some thread and comments rub you the wrong way just go on to another one.
 

KrisReef

Valuable Member
View Badges
Joined
May 15, 2018
Messages
2,208
Reaction score
7,295
Location
The West
I have noticed in the last few days on a lot of threads that there is a level of passive aggressiveness that I’m not comfortable with. I have read numerous posts that seem insulting and then when someone responds, the person backs off. Is it unintentional? Is it that people don’t read their posts to see how it can be interpreted. I noticed this when members have opposing views on things. Maybe it’s not even passive aggressiveness. I just know I was sitting up all night last night (we are in the hospital, my wife gave birth to our second daughter) and I was getting angry at the way some members “speak” to others on the forum. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m just interpreting things incorrectly. Does anyone else feel this way?
I notice many of my comments get lower than I mean them to be when I am tired and responding to others' posts. I try to limit that to one day/week where I allow myself to type without an editor.
Also, many of the authors here have been at Reef2Reef for a while and they know the other person. When these folks disagree they sometimes will have more open animosity because they enjoy word battling with the opposite opinion. Some on here have found folks with opinions or methods of reef keeping they don't respect or trust and the war is on each time they meet on favorite topics to do battle over on the forum. These battles will wage for many hours and pages but usually along the way they drop the gloves and the battle is over, until next time.

So my advice for the op is to enjoy the precious moments you have with that new baby and the rest of the family and if you find yourself getting steamed over the heated chat that sometimes appears on here, check yourself out for a while or move to another forum and find a nicer thread to read. This is what I do when I see the battles raging, or like others suggested I have hit the report button and let the mods know what I saw. They have almost always jumped on these flaming threads quickly and occasionally a thread is deleted but often they just comment that folks need to be respectful and that is the end of it. But, if you look into the older posts there are lots of harsh things said between folks. I wish it wasn't so but you have already seen it yourself. Give them the benefit of the doubt, some on here are not good writers and they have no filter. They type and hit post reply and then they back off when other people react negatively.

People on here are real and not bots! We all are often not as nice as we hope to be. Sorry for the hostility and insults that you have come across. If you read something by me that was caustic, sorry. I delete a lot of my worst replies on here before I post anything, but once a week I don't and there is no excuse for that really.
 

[email protected]

The R2R Admin formerly known as mdbannister
View Badges
Joined
Nov 18, 2012
Messages
25,853
Reaction score
25,740
Location
Ontario, California
We try to balance maintaining a family friendly atmosphere by addressing offensive/rude behavior while at the same time making room for all the thousands (yep, thousands) of personalities and voices in our community. It's not an exact science and I know we make mistakes, but we're constantly trying to get it right. Please definitely report anything that you think needs our attention.
 

Dancingmad

Well-Known Member
View Badges
Joined
May 13, 2016
Messages
712
Reaction score
1,190
Location
Houston
We try to balance maintaining a family friendly atmosphere by addressing offensive/rude behavior while at the same time making room for all the thousands (yep, thousands) of personalities and voices in our community.
Is there a safe place I can make a case about two words that are in the badword filter?

I'm on my best behavior 'round here but the struggle is real.

look-i-cant-speak-without-swearing-meirl-36140584.png
 

code4

Well-Known Member
View Badges
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
674
Reaction score
1,211
Location
wyoming
That made me laugh. The wife’s asleep, the baby is asleep and I’m staying awake till 11 so I can wake her up so she can request her pain meds. If I put this phone down and fall asleep she will ...... me.
Lol, love it. I am glad you got a little laugh. It was my intent. If you are up to sharing I would love to see the newest member of the family.
 

Centerline

Valuable Member
View Badges
Joined
Sep 22, 2016
Messages
1,456
Reaction score
1,521
Location
St. Augustine, Florida
It’s the Facebook users from groups like Red Sea Reefers searching for real advice. I joined that group and was shocked at the way people troll on there.
Ya, SOME of the FB users tend to be flat out rude - I found the same with the Red Sea Reefers group. Its unfortunate because it disincentivises people to offering advice. I personally have 4 different Red Sea tanks - all modded to the teeth but would rather spend my time working on and enjoying them than helping people that troll every comment.
 
Last edited:
Get Fish & Corals directly for the suppliers

Can you run a a successful reef long term without some type of reactor and media?

  • Yes

    Votes: 100 71.9%
  • No

    Votes: 16 11.5%
  • Not sure

    Votes: 23 16.5%

Online statistics

Members online
1,187
Guests online
2,900
Total visitors
4,087
Aqua SD
IceCap Smart 4 Stage 100gpd RODI System.
Top