Once upon a time, there was a silly woman who always discovered, in hindsight, that she maybe could have read just one more article or watched one more video before inviting a new companion into her reef. On a beautiful summer afternoon, at her local fish store, the silly woman saw a beautiful Diamond goby and thought “She‘ll be the perfect partner for Chip the Pistol Shrimp”. Since Chip was only a couple inches long and had some concerns about being called a “shrimp”, she chose the smallest goby she could see, took her home, and named her Diamond Lil (or just Lil for short). The hour drive home was quiet and Lil’s bag was floated in the tank without incident. Little did the silly woman know that Lil had been plotting for the whole ride home and how to escape her predicament.
Only minutes after the bag was opened to start acclimating her to her new parameters, Lil made her first escape attempt. But her aim was off and, let’s face it, she was still a little loopy from the car ride. But it was certainly worth the attempt to see the silly woman jump and stare at the bag! She settled back down to the bottom of her prison to regather her strength and her thoughts. Five minutes passed and Lil, being smarter than the average bear, had recalculated her trajectory and, with a mighty swish of her tail and fins, launched herself through the narrowing opening at the top of the bag. “I CAN FLY!!” Lil sang out as she whistled through the air, leaving a big splash of salty water on the rose covered wallpaper. “Hmmm, maybe I can’t fly” thought Lil as she bounced off the wall and a table and final came to a jarring halt on the floor. “Well, it was fun while it lasted” Lil sighed as she finally stopped thrashing for air.
Suddenly a giant and terrifying monster swooped down at her from the sky and a massive face appeared within inches of her. “You’re an idiot, Lil!” said a booming voice. And, without any ceremony, she was dumped back into the tank. “Acclimation my left foot,” said the voice. “Best of luck to you, Daredevil Lil”.
”Humph” said Lil. “Well, that didn’t quite work out. I’ll try again later. Yes, that’s what I’ll do!” Lil spent the next several hours exploring her new prison and meeting her new cell mate Chip. She promptly threw him out of the house and told him he could sleep over there. “Where’s over there?” asked poor Chip. ”Anywhere but here” said Lil as she puffed out a big mouthful of sand at him. “Wait, wait,” said Chip. “I have a degrees in both architecture and design. I can build us a new, bigger home worthy of your beauty”. “Yea, I guess” replied Lil. “But you can still live over there until you’re done with the renovation.”
Finally, the moment Lil had been waiting for came. The lights went off and the vibrations from her monster jailer walking about the room died away. Lil waited a couple minutes and made her first attempt. Again, her aim was off but, she admitted to herself, that is an awfully little escape hatch and it is really dark in here. Shaking off her doubts and steeling her resolve, she looked again for the change in light in her sky that marked her way to freedom. But the light was gone!! The silly woman had thrown some kind of fuzzy navy blue thing over the hole! “But I know where that hole was and I’m betting it’s still there.” With that though, Lil rocketed up through the water with the strength of 100 gobies and the speed of a dolphin. “I’M FREEEEEEEEE” Lil shouted gleefully and she exploded into the air.
”Dag nabbit,” thought Lil as she plummeted down. “I forgot that I still can’t fly”. This time she missed the rose covered wall and the table and landed directly on the floor. But there was still no sign of her jailer. “I’m gonna make this time,” Lil whispered. And with that, she started flopping furiously to...somewhere. Unfortunately, Lil hadn’t really thought through her plan and didn’t know what to do next. Undaunted, she continued to flip and flop until she found herself on a soft carpet of something. Lil felt the panic beginning to rise from her tail to her nose. She was being cocooned in some type of hairy stuff that smelled like dog...and cat... and human hair...and lint. “That silly woman really needs to learn to use a vacuum cleaner on something other than a sand bed” mused Lil as she began to slip into delirium.
Out of the dark came a low and terrifying growl and Lil knew her story had come to an end. Looming in the darkness, she could just make out the shadowy outline of a ferocious beast with long, shiny white teeth with some kind of wet, slobbery thing hanging out between them. “Is that that idiot, Lil, again?” came the voice of her jailer. “Grrr, woof” said the furry beast. The room lit up and the silly woman appeared above her. “Are you SERIOUS, Lil?!!” Once again, Lil was hoisted into the air. But this time, the woman started plucking the binding fur and hair off of her once at a time. “And just where did you think you were going and how long do you think you can live on the bathmat?” muttered the warden. Once again, Lil was dumped into the tank without so much as a how-do-you-do. ”Hey, my tail’s stuck” Lil thought. Her tail had dried out quite a bit during her battle with the bathmat and now it was stuck to the inside rim of the aquarium. “You’re an idiot, Lil” said the silly woman and she reached in and unglued Lil’s tail from the glass. “Well,” Lil thought to herself in a very small voice, “at least I’ll finish dying and I won’t have to listen to everyone make fun of me in the morning.” With that, Lil slowly sank to the bottom of the tank.
Morning dawned bright and Lil opened her eyes to find Chip standing guard over her. “Lil, my beautiful Lil. I’ve watched over you all night so nobody would eat you while you rested. I’ve built us a beautiful new mansion AND a summer cottage AND I’m working on a she shed for you” said Chip with a click of his claw.
“Let’s go home, Chip. I’m awfully tired and you’ve been awfully good to me”. So Chip and Lil moved into their new mansion under the rock and she helped him finish building the she shed.
And they lived happily ever after. The End.
Only minutes after the bag was opened to start acclimating her to her new parameters, Lil made her first escape attempt. But her aim was off and, let’s face it, she was still a little loopy from the car ride. But it was certainly worth the attempt to see the silly woman jump and stare at the bag! She settled back down to the bottom of her prison to regather her strength and her thoughts. Five minutes passed and Lil, being smarter than the average bear, had recalculated her trajectory and, with a mighty swish of her tail and fins, launched herself through the narrowing opening at the top of the bag. “I CAN FLY!!” Lil sang out as she whistled through the air, leaving a big splash of salty water on the rose covered wallpaper. “Hmmm, maybe I can’t fly” thought Lil as she bounced off the wall and a table and final came to a jarring halt on the floor. “Well, it was fun while it lasted” Lil sighed as she finally stopped thrashing for air.
Suddenly a giant and terrifying monster swooped down at her from the sky and a massive face appeared within inches of her. “You’re an idiot, Lil!” said a booming voice. And, without any ceremony, she was dumped back into the tank. “Acclimation my left foot,” said the voice. “Best of luck to you, Daredevil Lil”.
”Humph” said Lil. “Well, that didn’t quite work out. I’ll try again later. Yes, that’s what I’ll do!” Lil spent the next several hours exploring her new prison and meeting her new cell mate Chip. She promptly threw him out of the house and told him he could sleep over there. “Where’s over there?” asked poor Chip. ”Anywhere but here” said Lil as she puffed out a big mouthful of sand at him. “Wait, wait,” said Chip. “I have a degrees in both architecture and design. I can build us a new, bigger home worthy of your beauty”. “Yea, I guess” replied Lil. “But you can still live over there until you’re done with the renovation.”
Finally, the moment Lil had been waiting for came. The lights went off and the vibrations from her monster jailer walking about the room died away. Lil waited a couple minutes and made her first attempt. Again, her aim was off but, she admitted to herself, that is an awfully little escape hatch and it is really dark in here. Shaking off her doubts and steeling her resolve, she looked again for the change in light in her sky that marked her way to freedom. But the light was gone!! The silly woman had thrown some kind of fuzzy navy blue thing over the hole! “But I know where that hole was and I’m betting it’s still there.” With that though, Lil rocketed up through the water with the strength of 100 gobies and the speed of a dolphin. “I’M FREEEEEEEEE” Lil shouted gleefully and she exploded into the air.
”Dag nabbit,” thought Lil as she plummeted down. “I forgot that I still can’t fly”. This time she missed the rose covered wall and the table and landed directly on the floor. But there was still no sign of her jailer. “I’m gonna make this time,” Lil whispered. And with that, she started flopping furiously to...somewhere. Unfortunately, Lil hadn’t really thought through her plan and didn’t know what to do next. Undaunted, she continued to flip and flop until she found herself on a soft carpet of something. Lil felt the panic beginning to rise from her tail to her nose. She was being cocooned in some type of hairy stuff that smelled like dog...and cat... and human hair...and lint. “That silly woman really needs to learn to use a vacuum cleaner on something other than a sand bed” mused Lil as she began to slip into delirium.
Out of the dark came a low and terrifying growl and Lil knew her story had come to an end. Looming in the darkness, she could just make out the shadowy outline of a ferocious beast with long, shiny white teeth with some kind of wet, slobbery thing hanging out between them. “Is that that idiot, Lil, again?” came the voice of her jailer. “Grrr, woof” said the furry beast. The room lit up and the silly woman appeared above her. “Are you SERIOUS, Lil?!!” Once again, Lil was hoisted into the air. But this time, the woman started plucking the binding fur and hair off of her once at a time. “And just where did you think you were going and how long do you think you can live on the bathmat?” muttered the warden. Once again, Lil was dumped into the tank without so much as a how-do-you-do. ”Hey, my tail’s stuck” Lil thought. Her tail had dried out quite a bit during her battle with the bathmat and now it was stuck to the inside rim of the aquarium. “You’re an idiot, Lil” said the silly woman and she reached in and unglued Lil’s tail from the glass. “Well,” Lil thought to herself in a very small voice, “at least I’ll finish dying and I won’t have to listen to everyone make fun of me in the morning.” With that, Lil slowly sank to the bottom of the tank.
Morning dawned bright and Lil opened her eyes to find Chip standing guard over her. “Lil, my beautiful Lil. I’ve watched over you all night so nobody would eat you while you rested. I’ve built us a beautiful new mansion AND a summer cottage AND I’m working on a she shed for you” said Chip with a click of his claw.
“Let’s go home, Chip. I’m awfully tired and you’ve been awfully good to me”. So Chip and Lil moved into their new mansion under the rock and she helped him finish building the she shed.
And they lived happily ever after. The End.
