Anti-siphon holes just above the water line is best. I tried the anti drain back valve on my current set up I hate it. It worked great for about 4-5 months now it allows water to slowly leak back. It also increases head pressure on the pump. I am not the person you asked but that has been my findings. If you can not do anti-siphon holes or siphon breaks make sure you have enough room in your sump to accommodate the back flow.How are you preventing back flow when a return pump goes offline? … or do you have pumps tied to only one specific return ?
As for a feed pump you dont want or need a ton of flow through the sump ideally somewhere in the 4-8x at most. I currently use jebaos myself on multiple tanks. In my previous reef life with my sump system in the basement and two reef tanks upstairs being fed by 1 pump down there I used a reeflo hammerhead.