What makes you clam up: Are there parts of the hobby that you don’t talk about?

[Peace River]

What makes you clam up: Are there parts of the hobby that you don’t talk about?

Losing fish and corals, plumbing something wrong and then replumbing it wrong again, or maybe simply not knowing the name of a coral or fish – what are the things in the saltwater and reef hobby that you normally don’t talk about? This isn’t meant to be a thread to solve the reefing world’s problems, but rather to offer a (hopefully safe) place to share…or maybe you can share about what topics in the reef hobby that your ‘friend’ doesn’t want to talk about!

Photo by @Hiachi20

 

[Zach B]

I have been through just about every obstacle & pest in this hobby in the past 18 or so years. I feel it's helpful to share with others what methods we use to treat or eliminate such things. However there have been times where I've made small mistakes, then fixed quickly without sharing but these are usually equipment related due to my own fault. No one should be ashamed or nervous to share their issues or successes within the hobby, it's what helps us grow Best of luck to all!

 

[InvaderJim]

How much money I'm spending

 

[drtechno]

Death of livestock. When its our fault -> not putting a cover on our tanks when we have jumpers, buying fish our tank cannot sustain, buying difficult fish to try them out in the hopes that we will be the ones that will have success. I am guilty of all of the above in the past, which is unfortunate.

 

[ReefGeezer]

We all lose a fish or coral every once in a while. I don't talk about that unless I did something stupid. It's kind of therapeutic to admit you did something that, in hindsight, you should have known was wrong. Most importantly, I don't talk about the money spent on this hobby.

 

[Dburr1014]

After almost 30 years in the hobby I can mostly figure out the stuff I have problems with. The other 90%(LOL) I research and do or just do.
I have added to discussions here about unconventional things I've done that worked out but nobody here likes to here them. If it's not excepted by the masses(or a long standing member) your chastised.

 

[fish farmer]

A lot of my early reefing experience from the early 2000's may not align with the current way of doing things, so I rarely share "back in the old days" I did it this way.

 

[o2manyfish]

If you read my entire build thread in the big tank section, you will see that I share the disasters that have hit in the past 30 years of reef keeping. Including the entire fish and coral wipe out in March of this year.

Can I talk about those things - Sure, some days. But on those days when I have to pull out the giant skeletons and fill trash can after trash can - I can't talk to anyone about it. It's heartbreaking and depressing to see all that time and success get chucked into the trash can. But give me a few days to recover and I can talk about it and share the experience, and the why it happened so that it doesn't happen to others - If it's avoidable.

What I hate talking about and almost never talk about is the Cost. If someone asks about a particular fish or coral I may mention what it cost. But when people ask about the tank (750g) or the equipment or the system or all the fish -- Those I don't ever mention - Unless your a reef addict you couldn't understand or fathom it. And personally - I don't and Wouldn't want to total up those costs - I'd have to hit myself in the head with a brick.

I'm kind of lucky, I don't have kids to support, I live comfortably and most importantly my wife fully supports the hobby - She seldom asks what something costs and has only told me no a couple of times (1 time being when I wanted a 3rd & 4th Goldflake Angel - Which I did end up getting - she laughed at and then fell in love with the additional fish).

Dave B

 

[Koigula]

Ill admit I find instagram useless for a hobby built on patience and trial and error. I find it misleading

 

[MichaelReefer]

I think people don't quite realize the amount of patience and work this hobby requires compared to others...and I always warn people of that if they're interested in it.

 

[herozero]

How much money I'm spending

I was about to say the bill . . .

 

[HankstankXXXL750]

I don’t tell my family about a fish loss immediately if we are planning to do something. It always hits them hard. I wait until I feel the time is right. Not before my daughter goes to school, not before we sit down to spend family time. But somewhere before bedtime as that is another hard time for them to take bad news.

We become very attached to our babies.

 

[death-by-reef]

I try to share my problems because there is always a better way to do things

 

[Aluco]

Recently been trying out cheaper small branded led lights, I feel like talking about trying to find cheaper options in the hobby can be taken as not doing enough for your animals. So, when it comes to budget or lack there of I can go quiet on some things. But really not a big deal if I find myself needing to talk about it, I'm confident in my desire for a healthy reef.

 

[Slocke]

I feel like you can tell a lot about me by how often I post. The more I post the more confident I am about how well I'm doing but if I disappear for a few days or weeks I've probably messed up and lost a fish or coral or something. I try and be honest but in the moment its hard to admit you messed up and it temporarily wrecks my enthusiasm for the hobby.

 

[Upstartreefer]

I am getting better at talking about the bad. I didn't post anything 2+ years ago when my tank crashed because I thought for sure I was done with reef keeping. After a year looking a an empty tank started it back up and told the whole story on my built thread. I don't share every mistake but if I see that my past mistakes or mishaps can help a fellow reefer i will so try to help.

 

[Vivid Creative Aquatics]

Try and share as much as possible - the good, the bad and the ugly. My hope is that by sharing the the good, it may help can inspire others, while sharing the bad and ugly can help others going through similar challenges in their reefing journey.

For instance, over on my own build thread, I just shared that Irecently discovered (by chance) that I forgot to glue a key pipe joint that had been running under the tank on a closed loop for over a year... it never leaked, and luckily never failed

My hope is it may inspire someone else to go check their plumbing - LOL

 

[i cant think]

I tend to mention most of my mistakes and problems I’ve had to overcome as it’s not great if newbies see a tank and it just constantly looks perfect. I unfortunately couldn’t do this with my 4’ tank as it was already past 18 months when I joined in September 21. My nano however had only been set up for 7ish months so I was still facing some of the uglies. But even with the established tank I still faced issues such as my sand bed being too coarse for my fish so my iridis looked like he (at the time she) had been attacked almost constantly. I know I’ve had 3-4 fish deaths over both tanks in my time and each time I’ve mentioned it and tried to explain what I thought it was that caused it but we always have those mystery deaths.
But obviously, in photos you see of my tanks outside of my build threads they tend to look ‘perfect’ and not broken in any way. But that’s because it seems many have high expectations on what your tank should look like over what your tank is actually like.
For example, here’s the expectation;

a clean tank, many brightly coloured SPS and no problems at all.
On the other hand, this is the reality;

Algae, random fish and corals dying and many other pests such as nudibranchs. You also risk some corals browning (My Sunset Monti in the photo you can see that it is a deep red - now he’s a bright orange and green polyped coral).

 

[vlangel]

I am open now after 20+ years of reefing but was a lot more guarded when I first started out.
I think I was intimidated by folks who were forceful about their opinions plus the whole tech aspects of forums was new to me being a bit older than most other members.
I have learned to share honestly what is happening in my tank to hopefully help others. If someone lacks grace toward me I simply answer kindly and move on.

 

[JTP424]

I think I'm more timid with in person events rather than online forums etc.
Mostly quiet about anything that I haven't FULLY nailed down. I.E. coral placement or what types to buy, fish and fragging. Mainly from fear of judgement? I know I'm the one who paid the money for what I'm doing, and a lot of what I'm doing is trial and error even WITH research, but there are always those out there who want to help you, but may come off as demeaning?