Smorgasbord Club
Official Notice of Provisional Dismissal
To: John [Last Name No Longer Relevant]
From: The Executive Board of the Smorgasbord Club
Date: June 19, 2025
Subject: Symbolic Expulsion for Crimes Against the Club Mascot
Dear John,
It is with heavy hearts (and a healthy dose of mockery) that the Executive Board of the Smorgasbord Club has reached a unanimous decision to symbolically and immediately dismiss you from the club due to your reckless and unthinkable attempt to get rid of the tailspot blenny, our cherished mascot, spirit fish, and wiggly ambassador of all that we hold dear.
Your actions have been officially categorized as “high aquatic treason” and “blasphemy with fins,” directly violating the founding values of this glorious institution.
Effective immediately:
Your access to the club will be revoked in a fully imaginary way.
You will be banned from participating in “Blenny Bash 2025.”
Your name will be removed from the Honorary Algae Guardians registry.
However, redemption is still possible: a formal apology letter addressed to the tailspot blenny, a solemn vow to never question its cuteness again, and perhaps an offering of a fresh algae wafer might earn you a path back into our good graces.
Sincerely,
The Board of the Smorgasbord Club
"For a just reef, with blennies for all."
@kingranch2003 
I can't even eat my dinner 
