Thank you.

[Dom]

I came across a thread here on R2R this week. It was a posting of a type that we’ve seen before. You know the one; someone just starting out in the hobby wanting to know why all his or her fish are dying in a 3-week-old tank.

I noticed things getting a bit tense in the thread. And when frustrations boiled over, the Sensei got a little rough with the Grasshopper.

Now, I could understand the frustration. The Grasshopper posted here on R2R to get help with a problem. But the impression I was left with was that Grasshopper couldn’t be bothered putting in the effort where the recommendations of the Sensei are concerned. It didn’t matter how many times test results were requested, Grasshopper would only reply: “my test numbers are fine” (or some variation of that).

It must have felt like a waste of time to Sensei; taking the time, putting in the thought and effort to help Grasshopper, only to have Grasshopper behave as if his tank should be more important to Sensei than it is to him.

But then someone posted that this website was notorious for giving the inexperienced a difficult time. I am approaching my 2nd anniversary here on R2R and I have to say that in my experience, nothing could be further from the truth.

Yes, we’ve all sensed a bit of abrasiveness here from time to time in a posting. But to say that inexperienced members are regularly targeted for lambasting is false.

I landed on R2R because I was blown up regularly as a newbie on other reef keeping sites and found this not to be the case here. Even when I tried to offer help, I was accused of purposely giving false information to further a problem rather than resolve it.

And yes, I was guilty of giving bad information, but it was due to a lack of experience and the belief that the information I provided was accurate. My intentions were never devious.

What makes R2R different is that here, we are encouraged to offer whatever help we can, and are politely corrected when our information is wrong. And I think this is what separates R2R from other sites; that here, we find members willing to mentor the less experienced. For this, I thank you.


Dom

 

[DSC reef]

Well said @Dom

 

[ccombs]

I came across a thread here on R2R this week. It was a posting of a type that we’ve seen before. You know the one; someone just starting out in the hobby wanting to know why all his or her fish are dying in a 3-week-old tank.

I noticed things getting a bit tense in the thread. And when frustrations boiled over, the Sensei got a little rough with the Grasshopper.

Now, I could understand the frustration. The Grasshopper posted here on R2R to get help with a problem. But the impression I was left with was that Grasshopper couldn’t be bothered putting in the effort where the recommendations of the Sensei are concerned. It didn’t matter how many times test results were requested, Grasshopper would only reply: “my test numbers are fine” (or some variation of that).

It must have felt like a waste of time to Sensei; taking the time, putting in the thought and effort to help Grasshopper, only to have Grasshopper behave as if his tank should be more important to Sensei than it is to him.

But then someone posted that this website was notorious for giving the inexperienced a difficult time. I am approaching my 2nd anniversary here on R2R and I have to say that in my experience, nothing could be father from the truth.

Yes, we’ve all sensed a bit of abrasiveness here from time to time in a posting. But to say that inexperienced members are regularly targeted for lambasting is false.

I landed on R2R because I was blown up regularly as a newbie on other reef keeping sites and found this not to be the case here. Even when I tried to offer help, I was accused of purposely giving false information to further a problem rather than resolve it.

And yes, I was guilty of giving bad information, but it was due to a lack of experience and the belief that the information I provided was accurate. My intentions were never devious.

What makes R2R different is that here, we are encouraged to offer whatever help we can, and are politely corrected when our information is wrong. And I think this is what separates R2R from other sites; that here, we find members willing to mentor the less experienced. For this, I thank you.


Dom

I actually know exactly what thread you are talking about and I can agree. When I first joined I had an issue that was not making sense, a few members posted things that made me feel stupid and made it obvious they did not read my whole issue. HOWEVER, the majority of the people on this forum went out of their way, and continued to go out of their way to help me.

Many times the lack of tone and expression over a post are lost. I think everyone here simply wants to help.

The biggest suggestion I have is to offer solutions and gently mention what things have been done wrong. Harping on what someone did wrong prior to the post does not help the current situation. I always try (not always successful) to give solutions for the current situation, then educate later.

This forum has been 99% civil and I have met a ton of super helpful people. I agree with Dom... Thank you.

 

[kchristensen8064]

I actually know exactly what thread you are talking about and I can agree. When I first joined I had an issue that was not making sense, a few members posted things that made me feel stupid and made it obvious they did not read my whole issue. HOWEVER, the majority of the people on this forum went out of their way, and continued to go out of their way to help me.

Many times the lack of tone and expression over a post are lost. I think everyone here simply wants to help.

The biggest suggestion I have is to offer solutions and gently mention what things have been done wrong. Harping on what someone did wrong prior to the post does not help the current situation. I always try (not always successful) to give solutions for the current situation, then educate later.

This forum has been 99% civil and I have met a ton of super helpful people. I agree with Dom... Thank you.

I also know that what thread this is, and the frustrating part about the thread is the lack of help the op was willing to offer to those that were trying to help him. He asked for help and then would not give anyone any information that was useful to help everyone here help him. So I don't think anyone was being hostile by any means but frustrated that the op just didn't seem to want help. It seemed he just wanted to be told what he wanted to hear and not the truth. I have a local friend that started a tank and has just rushed and throws whatever he wants in the tank without doing any research and just keeps killing everything that goes in his tank. I have tried to help and he refuses to listen so at some point frustration boils over and you just have to cut your losses. This forum is awesome and I have never thought that anyone has been to aggressive to newbies but sometimes the truth may not be what you want to hear. You have to be mature enough to hear that, if you aren't then your feelings will be hurt.

 

[ccombs]

I also know that what thread this is, and the frustrating part about the thread is the lack of help the op was willing to offer to those that were trying to help him. He asked for help and then would not give anyone any information that was useful to help everyone here help him. So I don't think anyone was being hostile by any means but frustrated that the op just didn't seem to want help. It seemed he just wanted to be told what he wanted to hear and not the truth. I have a local friend that started a tank and has just rushed and throws whatever he wants in the tank without doing any research and just keeps killing everything that goes in his tank. I have tried to help and he refuses to listen so at some point frustration boils over and you just have to cut your losses. This forum is awesome and I have never thought that anyone has been to aggressive to newbies but sometimes the truth may not be what you want to hear. You have to be mature enough to hear that, if you aren't then your feelings will be hurt.

Certainly there are posts that seem to withhold information to get the answer they want. That being said, overall this forum is so kind and helpful. I have been on forums for other job related topics... and some can get HOSTILE. This forum has been a great learning experience for me and others. At the end of the day you get out what you put in.

 

[Mastiffsrule]

I had to many things to say so I summed it up in 2 ways.

1. this site could not have the most helpful and nicest folks.(99% ccombs rule in effect:))

2. Anyone saying negative things, I say 1 thing to you

 

[flchamp89]

When I arrived here it didn't take long to realize the majority here are mature, polite, and helpful. It's very refreshing.

 

[Auquanut]

I couldn't agree more with everything that's been said. This is by far and away the most helpful, compassionate forum I have ever had the privilege of being a part of. That being said, I think it unrealistic to expect that with thousands of individuals conversing together, no one will ever get their feelings hurt. Even with a group as awesome as this one. I have seen a few threads go south. It happens. Not a reason to judge the forum as a whole or quit a great community.

 

[Gonebad395]

Since I’ve joined I’ve not really seen truly mean people here like other forums where they come in army’s to see who could be the biggest jerk without ever helping the op. Now that being said sometimes when replying to someone trying to explain text in forums makes a persons response seem jerkish and insensitive tone is hard to convey over text. I will say reading some post where people ask for help and are given some great advice then decide that they know better sometimes gets old. Or when people that continue to have numerous problematic post which convey lack of caring for their tank inhabitants and just disregard advice they asked for makes people kinda tired of dealing with them.
I and almost everyone here try so hard to give sound and solid advice but some could careless and continue to make this hobby painful for themselves instead of enjoyable.

 

[Bob Weigant]

I too like this site. I try to offer help from things that have happened to myself or from a friend. I find it pretty lame to make fun of new people to the hobby. We were all new at one time. Why not save someone from making the same mistakes we did. Im 15 years into this hobby and still learning new things

 

[KJ]

Thank you @Dom well said friend!

 

[Luno]

I have periods of not posting here but I think I've been lingering for a couple years now. I came her because I couldn't stand the absolute garbage way people would speak and address each other with different views and opinions on both facebook and other popular sites. I think we're all aware the main culprit of popular site.

But I came here because I heard this place is different, and for what I've seen from a newer comers perspective that is true. It may not be perfect but comepared to what's out there it is run better than any other forum I've been on with what I can tell is far less abuse of power.

That being said the forum can be managed as well as it wants to but the majority of how a forum is conducted is upto the members and their behaviour. I noticed recently in a thread where someone was belittled when their method of reefing was different to someone else's and I couldn't ignore the belittlement and responded. I believe the ideals of this forum are to be one that everyone can have their view while trying to maintain decency and respect to each other. And again for the most part that appears to happen, far more then any other forum.

This is slightly off topic but just my view based on this thread and few others that have been posted recently.


TLDR VERSION
R2R is a more respectful, less abuse of power place than many other forums around