Cheapness - a disease?

[ReeferBob]

My parents are having their 50th anniversary next month. I am hosting the party at my house (~40ish guests). They have an old as dirt 42" (1st generation) LCD TV that they have been wanting to replace for some time. I found a sweet curved 55" 4k 3D Samsung 9000 series on sale for $1199 shipped. I figure 3x $400 and it is paid for (2 sisters and myself). Me and my older sister are cool with it. My younger sister is cheap as can be and wants to "give them money towards" a tv or some other cheap backout plan. Between her and her husband they make $350k a year so they are not hurting for anything (her husband is totally cool with it). She can't believe we are getting something "so expensive" for them.

Am I being unreasonable here?

 

[4FordFamily]

Interestingly, if you study those that are wealthy you will find the preponderance of them are very very cheap. I am by no means rich or even close, but I'm blessed. I only spend money (marginally) on cars and fish. I am the cheapest person imaginable and my wife is even worse. We buy generic everything, clearance everything, frugal doesn't begin to paint the picture. I have connections for half off just about everything. Landscaping needs? I have a guy that gets me half off of this stuff delivered, same with home improvement stuff, the list goes on and on.

I deal with high net worth clientele that use reverse lines of credit (a type of reverse mortgage believe it or not) on homes $2-$24 million in value at work as financial tools to maximize their net estate value come passing--- so I spend much of my day talking to people with net worths of 2-50 million. I am always amazed at how frugal they are. I guess you don't become or remain wealthy by being foolish with your money!

Your sister probably should help, I'm just saying that it's often the wealthiest Americans that are the most frugal. That's part of how they got there, IMO.

 

[FlyinBryan]

I have friends who are super cheap, I avoid hanging out with them at all costs. All pun intended but it's just no fun to be around them. God gave me money and all things to enjoy, and I do!

But in answer to your question, no, I don't think you are.

 

[kschweer]

Interestingly, if you study those that are wealthy you will find the preponderance of them are very very cheap. I am by no means rich or even close, but I'm blessed. I only spend money (marginally) on cars and fish. I am the cheapest person imaginable and my wife is even worse. We buy generic everything, clearance everything, frugal doesn't begin to paint the picture. I have connections for half off just about everything. Landscaping needs? I have a guy that gets me half off of this stuff delivered, same with home improvement stuff, the list goes on and on.

I deal with high net worth clientele that use reverse lines of credit (a type of reverse mortgage believe it or not) on homes $2-$24 million in value at work as financial tools to maximize their net estate value come passing--- so I spend much of my day talking to people with net worths of 2-50 million. I am always amazed at how frugal they are. I guess you don't become or remain wealthy by being foolish with your money!

Your sister probably should help, I'm just saying that it's often the wealthiest Americans that are the most frugal. That's part of how they got there, IMO.

I agree with this. I deal with some high end clients and they are by far "tighter" with their money than others. Squabbling about $100 before getting in their $150k+ car. I guess they didn't become wealthy without watching all their purchases.

 

[4FordFamily]

I agree with this. I deal with some high end clients and they are by far "tighter" with their money than others. Squabbling about $100 before getting in their $150k+ car. I guess they didn't become wealthy without watching all their purchases.

Yep it all adds up. Wealthy is a mindset more than a dollar net worth value.

Shameless book plug here but "Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert Kyosaki. Highly highly recommend for financial intelligence.

 

[kschweer]

Yep it all adds up. Wealthy is a mindset more than a dollar net worth value.

Shameless book plug here but "Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert Kyosaki. Highly highly recommend for financial intelligence.

That's a very good way to put it. I feel like it seems to come down more to "do I need to spend this" than it does "can I afford to spend this".

I need to start thinking the first way...lol

 

[kschweer]

I apologize for the mini hijack. To answer your question, No I do not think you're being unreasonable.

 

[4FordFamily]

I apologize for the mini hijack. To answer your question, No I do not think you're being unreasonable.

Yes I'm sorry too haha

 

[Duke4Life]

I totally understand this feeling. I've walked away from jobs before only to have the client call me back because the next guy was going to charge them double for the work (I'm a handyman).

 

[Harry_Y]

It's not Cheap, it's being thrifty. I don't mind spending money but I want Value for what I buy.

My TV is older and works just fine so I see no reason to replace it (even though I could easily buy a new one)
But since I rarely watch TV to me to replace it would be a waste of money since it still works just fine.

I tend to take good care of my stuff since it represents hours of my life spent working for it.

 

[ReeferBob]

I don't mind thrifty and frugalness at all. We had decided already that a TV would be a great gift. I had been looking at specials and sales for a good quality, current TV. She first called me a few weeks ago letting me know there was a raffle at her work and the prize was a 720p 42" off-brand TV set. I told her I was not going to even consider a point of sale tv to replace their existing point of sale tv. If you are going to replace something, I believe to do it right and choose something that is current. Again, this is their 50th.

And lol my BIL just buys what he wants now doesn't ask or tell her what he gets he is tired of her BS cheapness on everything he wants.

 

[fab]

If you are going to replace something, I believe to do it right and choose something that is current.

Excellent principle to hold to when you can afford it. The replacement item need not be the most expensive nor the topmost of the line, but current and adequate is wise in my book.

Unreasonable on your part? ... NO, not from what you have told us, definitely not.

Try this ... at your own risk...
Tell your sister you have changed your mind and would rather not replace the old TV; rather you would like her to help buy a new 55" saltwater reef aquarium setup and stock it for your parents. Then tell her the probable cost. Maybe that would get her to realize how "cheap" a 55" 4k TV really is when it comes to entertainment.

 

[donnievaz]

A $400 gift for your parents 50th when you make $350K is hardly unreasonable... When you make that kind of money and you're too freakin' cheap to spend $400 on a gift for what is a HUGE milestone achievement for the two people that most likely sacrificed many pleasures to make your life more comfortable, you're a pathetic excuse for a human being. I'm sorry to talk about your sister that way but you asked...

 

[JackDE]

You are not being unreasonable.

 

[JackDE]

I wonder how much she expects to spend on a gift?

 

[redfishbluefish]

I don't believe you are being unreasonable. I think what I'd do is let the younger sister know that if she doesn't wish to participate, that's fine, but you and the older sister are still giving mom and dad the TV....with card signed by old sis and you only.....and let young sis do her own thing.

As far as the TV is concerned, I'm not crazy about curved or 3D.....gimmicks that you show your friends when they come over to see the new set, but that's about it. Curved really does nothing, and 3D gets old real fast. I'd be looking at a 55 - 60 inch smart TV, as well as surround sound....and that could probably be purchased for still under $400 each of the two of you.......that's it.

 

[Harry_Y]

It is nice when the "Kids" (mine are both adults) do something nice for us
but in truth I'd rather they spend it on themselves (unless it is something small).

To me I much more prefer a visit or just a call than "stuff".

As you get older stuff means less and less and relationships mean more and more.

 

[TheEngineer]

You aren't being unreasonable. That said, for the cost difference (a couple hundred bucks each tops) I'd ask how much she wants to contribute and then you and your other sibling make up the difference and say it is from everyone. To me, a couple hundred dollars isn't worth the argument or the stress. This all pre-supposes that you can afford the extra couple hundred dollars of course.

If your BIL doesn't care about the cost, why not just ask him for the money? Not your martial strife :)

 

[Acan Skywalker]

My parents are having their 50th anniversary next month. I am hosting the party at my house (~40ish guests). They have an old as dirt 42" (1st generation) LCD TV that they have been wanting to replace for some time. I found a sweet curved 55" 4k 3D Samsung 9000 series on sale for $1199 shipped. I figure 3x $400 and it is paid for (2 sisters and myself). Me and my older sister are cool with it. My younger sister is cheap as can be and wants to "give them money towards" a tv or some other cheap backout plan. Between her and her husband they make $350k a year so they are not hurting for anything (her husband is totally cool with it). She can't believe we are getting something "so expensive" for them.

Am I being unreasonable here?

 

[erinmegan85]

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. 50th anniversary is a big milestone. Your sister should be ashamed. It's one thing to be frugal when it comes to yourself, but this is a gift for your parents for crying out loud.