Getting a divorce- how to handle the reef

Indytraveler83 · Mar 28, 2020

Sorry guys, I've been very active on this forum for the last year. I built things up to having the 90 gallon reef of my dreams that I've been trying to fill in. Its really the system I always wanted. But, sometimes life gets in the way, and I'm getting a divorce. I won't be staying in the house for very much longer (a month max), and I won't be able to take my reef with me (*&%#$*@(!!!

I have my 90 gallon reef and my 54 gallon African cichlid system, as well as a 5 gallon nano that currently houses fancy guppies and some shrimp. The best I MIGHT be able to do is keep the 5 gallon.

In your experience, if you need to take down a system quickly, how can you get the most for it? Selling it locally? Breaking it down into livestock/rock, etc? I can sell to my lfs, but I know he is only paying me a wholesale price, and I really need to try to get as much from this, as fast as I can.

Also... in that month, would it be sane/possible to try to convert the 5 gallon into a nano reef? Or is a system that small too unstable? (Its a Marineland 5 gallon AIO)

BullyBee · Mar 28, 2020

I am so sorry man

Billdogg · Mar 28, 2020

Sorry dude!

Get on a local forum and see what you can do there. Craigslist is another option but don't expect to get much for it. Is there someplace you can store it until you are ready again?

There are several clubs in your general area. I belong to https://ohioreef.com , https://www.buckeyereef.com , and http://corareef.org.

Reefpharmer · Mar 28, 2020

I’m sorry to hear you are going through a very difficult time. When I went through it, I basically had the Lfs come out and take the fish. I tried bringing my corals into a different system with the expectation that I’d sell it later but I’m reality the tank crashed W the corals and I got nothing for them except a bunch of dead skeletons... from a vibrant 300 gallon sps tank.
badically I would say get what you can from the local Reefers and the whatever is left, have your lfs pick up.

CubsFan · Mar 28, 2020

Billdogg said:
Sorry dude!

Get on a local forum and see what you can do there. Craigslist is another option but don't expect to get much for it. Is there someplace you can store it until you are ready again?

This is a good option if you can unload your livestock. I had to move for work a few years back. I took a major hit on the livestock, but thems the breaks. When I returned a couple years later, all my equipment was waiting for me.

I actually had to put almost all of my possessions into storage, so my unit was a little spendy, but if it had just been my reef gear, I could have got it into a much smaller, cheaper unit.

don’t see why you can’t turn that 5 gallon into a nano. Do some research here. There’s folks with smaller systems that are successful.

Indytraveler83 · Mar 28, 2020

Billdogg said:
Sorry dude!

Get on a local forum and see what you can do there. Craigslist is another option but don't expect to get much for it. Is there someplace you can store it until you are ready again?

There are several clubs in your general area. I belong to https://ohioreef.com , https://www.buckeyereef.com , and http://corareef.org.

Thank you for the links. I'll have to check them out this week and see what I can do.

Storage isn't going to be an option. Honestly I need money and I need it right now. Paying to store a system I can't use for at least 2 years, if not more is above my new financial means.

Rjramos · Mar 28, 2020

Try to find a local personal friend or family member that would be interested. If you sell it, don’t look to even break even on what you payed. If the friend is close enough, you can even make visits. Once the dust settles, you may be able to bring it back to your new place. When I got divorced, I moved my 75 gal to my moms house. She enjoyed my more often company to do maintenance on it. I also benefitted from talking to mom during a difficult time. After a year, I got my place and transferred it once more.

Salemsoul · Mar 28, 2020

Sorry to hear

unfortunately most times selling quickly and getting the most $$ don't always go hand in hand. Selling everything together needs the right buyer and takes some time. So selling the fish to LFS and then craigslist or Facebook marketplace for all your supplies/gear.

5 gallons can work as a pico, that can be a lot of work with any stony coral and made easier with an ATO. A lot of people i know have the rimless 6.4g tank they converted into a SW pico..

I also have and currently house coral for my friends, maybe some reefers you know would hold your favorite frags/pieces for you

Indytraveler83 · Mar 29, 2020

OMG guys, I'm so excited. I'm not loosing the house after all. I gotta get a roommate so I'm loosing a single tank, but the cichlids will go, and the reef will stay.

Reef on!!

DonTavo27 · Mar 29, 2020

I’m happy for you! Sometimes I think about being in that situation, and I start to get all emo lol.
I hope things continue to improve for you!

Mikeltee · Mar 31, 2020

Wow this sucks... There is no doubt in my mind that this hobby has ruined many marriages! Do whatever you can consciously deal with. Personally I would sell everything for pennies (to my family). I dont know about your wife but my wife thinks I only have a couple hundred invested in this 10k+ tank. Only your ethics can determine what to do. I hope you tried counseling before going this route. I also realize that certain acts of betrayal can only result in this or a prison sentence. Good luck my brother... the council of men have your back!

Indytraveler83 · Apr 1, 2020

Mikeltee said:
Wow this sucks... There is no doubt in my mind that this hobby has ruined many marriages! Do whatever you can consciously deal with. Personally I would sell everything for pennies (to my family). I dont know about your wife but my wife thinks I only have a couple hundred invested in this 10k+ tank. Only your ethics can determine what to do. I hope you tried counseling before going this route. I also realize that certain acts of betrayal can only result in this or a prison sentence. Good luck my brother... the council of men have your back!

Well it's not the hobby that ruined the marriage at least. Though the hobby has been a welcome distraction to a rapidly souring home life.

The best way to describe that relationship... You know how some folks just can't resist putting a hippo tang in a 55 gallon tank, and it all eventually goes wrong and you gotta re-home the tang? That's pretty much my marriage...

On the good side I have the house... for now. So I can keep running the reef, but adding a roommate for a year is sort of just buying time.

Now I have very little money and no room for a QT tank, so I'm gonna have to try to enjoy my reef under those new restrictions. I'm not ready to sell it, in case things do improve in a year, but don't want to invest more in case they don't.

Gio22 · Apr 1, 2020

Indytraveler83 said:
Sorry guys, I've been very active on this forum for the last year. I built things up to having the 90 gallon reef of my dreams that I've been trying to fill in. Its really the system I always wanted. But, sometimes life gets in the way, and I'm getting a divorce. I won't be staying in the house for very much longer (a month max), and I won't be able to take my reef with me (*&%#$*@(!!!

I have my 90 gallon reef and my 54 gallon African cichlid system, as well as a 5 gallon nano that currently houses fancy guppies and some shrimp. The best I MIGHT be able to do is keep the 5 gallon.

In your experience, if you need to take down a system quickly, how can you get the most for it? Selling it locally? Breaking it down into livestock/rock, etc? I can sell to my lfs, but I know he is only paying me a wholesale price, and I really need to try to get as much from this, as fast as I can.

Also... in that month, would it be sane/possible to try to convert the 5 gallon into a nano reef? Or is a system that small too unstable? (Its a Marineland 5 gallon AIO)

Where are you located ! Best thing to do is all at once but it’s hard to find that guy . If you sell pieces you know people will go for pumps , lights coral , you will have sump and tank last . Unless silly prices. Good luck