How do you juggle your tank with family/wife?

[Justin....#JAMAS]

HOW DO YOU JUGGLE YOUR TANK AND FAMILY DUTIES?

Having a reef tank or fish only tank, has its challenges and has its benefits! The excitement of watching your corals grow is very intriguing! The beauty and the colors of all the fish and other animals that are in your reef tank are the most exciting thing to me! To be able to have a piece of living art and a piece of the ocean in my very own living room is the most awesome idea that i can ever think of! But im curious to know what others think and want to really hear peoples voices in this. How do you personally juggle your reef tank maintanence, coral shopping, fish shopping, reading and investigsting all the time, research, and starring at your "baby" (your reef tank) without there being words from your wife like, " that tank is more important than me" or "thats all you do"! I know alot of people, once that fire of reefing is lit underneath them, really pay alot of attention to their tank and it can get quite difficult to keep up your family duties without your family thinking that your tank is more important than them! Soo lets hear it, do u have problems juggling these two? Id like to hear and all of us to help eachother if this is happening to some! Bc i see and hear of relathionships ruined bc of this all the time! Thanks in advance for your voice, and look forward to your responses! Happy Reefing Families!

 

[redfishbluefish]

I'll be the first to say it.....there are times that tank maintenance takes a back seat. I'm going through that right now with all my time the past couple weeks opening the hole in the ground and doing spring cleanup. I almost feel like I need to go to confession.....Bless me Father, for I have sinned, and haven't cleaned the aquarium glass in four weeks.....

 

[Crabs McJones]

I worked out a schedule that my wife was ok with. Basically Sunday is tank day. I do all my major maintenance and water change. And I get 30 minutes daily to do small tasks such as scrub the glass, clean the skimmer cup, change out the filter sock as needed. The rest of that time I'm not at work is family time.

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

Haha, i totally understand! I go through it sometimes with the wife! But have to really know whats really important and show it! Thanks man for sharing your experience

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

I worked out a schedule that my wife was ok with. Basically Sunday is tank day. I do all my major maintenance and water change. And I get 30 minutes daily to do small tasks such as scrub the glass, clean the skimmer cup, change out the filter sock as needed. The rest of that time I'm not at work is family time.

thats a great idea! Family is m ost important!

 

[happyhourhero]

For me it’s all about laying out expectations up front and time certainly helps because maintenance takes less time and things kind of fall into a routine.

People might laugh at this but I have a tank allowance each month. I can obviously spend more than the allowance each month because it’s my(our) money but there will be a discussion about it. With my allowance, I buy whatever I want without any questions so everyone stays happy. It also helps to let your tank get to where it can start buying things on its own from frag sales. She also does a good job about letting me splurge during live sales a couple times a year.

The expectations part really helps us in our marriage for far more than the tank. If we outline what we expect from each other, things go much more smoothly and there is no “all you do is work on that tank” because she already knew that on Saturday I said I was going to take 2 hours to clean the sump or that each night after we put our son down, I go stare for 20-30 min before coming back out to hang out with her.

For us this works.

 

[Waters]

I just plan my tank maintenance around family duties.......I normally due my water changes early Saturday morning before the wife even wakes up

 

[aherre07]

I am very fortunate that my wife enjoys the visuals of the tank as much as I do. So as for maintenance she actually helps keep me in line as far as telling me when I slack that the glass needs to be cleaned and so on. On the other hand she has pretty much come to know that there are a few items that need daily checks (fish roll call, coral checks ATO check and so on) things that take 20-30 minutes to accomplish. The actual maintenance I try to do when she is busy doing some of her tasks. The best investment I have made to help keep the time of maintenance to a minimum has been my water mixing station where it now allows me to do a 40 gallon water change in about 25 minutes and that includes the time it takes to clean the skimmer cup. As for daily staring into the tank we like to sit in the front of the together and catch up on the day's activities for 30-45 minutes on average two to three times a week.

Whats been more of an issue for me has been trying to find ways to keep stocking my tank. It seems like the constant line I tell her is that I need to buy this today because its on sale on this website, and then a few days later someone else is having a sale or there is a different frag pack available. The timing of purchases doesnt always work in my favor.

 

[scuzy]

Actually I put my wife and family to the side as I take care of the tanks. Jk

My wife is actually really understanding. I do homework with the kids and take them to classes and then I do tank work Monday to Friday and family on weekends.

 

[o00brandon00o]

I worked out a schedule that my wife was ok with. Basically Sunday is tank day. I do all my major maintenance and water change. And I get 30 minutes daily to do small tasks such as scrub the glass, clean the skimmer cup, change out the filter sock as needed. The rest of that time I'm not at work is family time.

@Crabs Mcjones Structure. I like it!

 

[Highgrade]

I work from home so I get to tinker with the many tanks I have on and off Monday-Friday. Currently not as much as I like with the kids being out of school for the summer. My wife is aware my routine maintenance is on Wednesday's. Its known as WCW (Water Change Wednesday). She's knows if my tanks are not happy I'm not happy. Eventually I end up spending more time cleaning, testing, WC's, etc….. when things are out of whack. Which I make clear when I neglect the routine maintenance/husbandry of the tanks. Especially when I get the question of why are you working on the tanks so much. I reminder her I'm playing catch up since I got volunteered for some Honey Do's, I took the kids to do something, we all went out as a family, etc….

As for time with the family that is always a priority. It's just a matter of finding a happy medium.

 

[Greybeard]

Family first.

Lost a tank a decade or so back, when my wife's father was sick. Life and family needed all of my time, the tank was totally ignored for 5 months.

I've been married for 23 years now. At this point, she KNOWS where my priorities are, and I know hers. I've never given her reason to suspect that my hobbies are anywhere near as important to me as my family is. Don't intend to ever do so.

 

[blkhwkz]

I work from home so if things are slow, I can get stuff done like the water change I just did. I too have water change Wednesday. Plus my wife is on midnight shift right now so she is sleeping during the day. When we have been on the same schedule she doesn't mind. As she has told people before, at least I am home, there are other things I could be out doing and getting into trouble. She is more concerned that I don't neglect her small AIO tank in between taking care of my stuff.

 

[pelphrey]

For me I do water changes when the kids are napping on Saturday or Sunday, although a 5 gallon water change takes only a few minutes to complete. Aside from that I don't do much else with the tank during the week. I no longer clean the glass while the kids are around - I came home to a pretty large scratch on the glass and I can only assume one of the kids watched me clean the glass one day so they decided to try with a toy!

It becomes more of a balancing act if we are out of town and I want to visit a shop. She doesn't care, we do what she wants to do first then visit a store.

Ask me this same question in a few years when the kids are a little older and more active! haha

 

[RajV]

Tank comes first . Last satSatur we were at a wedding, there was an after party . I said I need to go feed my babies and left

 

[shred5]

Family first.

Lost a tank a decade or so back, when my wife's father was sick. Life and family needed all of my time, the tank was totally ignored for 5 months.

I've been married for 23 years now. At this point, she KNOWS where my priorities are, and I know hers. I've never given her reason to suspect that my hobbies are anywhere near as important to me as my family is. Don't intend to ever do so.

Exactly man probably why so many marriages fail they do not put family first.

 

[siggy]

I worked out a schedule that my wife was ok with. Basically Sunday is tank day. I do all my major maintenance and water change. And I get 30 minutes daily to do small tasks such as scrub the glass, clean the skimmer cup, change out the filter sock as needed. The rest of that time I'm not at work is family time.

lucky you, I don't dare clean the skimmer when shes around, and when she does come home and says "Whats that awful smell" I blame it on the dog and that's my family balance.

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

That's awesome man! I wish I had a tank allowance!!!!

For me it’s all about laying out expectations up front and time certainly helps because maintenance takes less time and things kind of fall into a routine.

People might laugh at this but I have a tank allowance each month. I can obviously spend more than the allowance each month because it’s my(our) money but there will be a discussion about it. With my allowance, I buy whatever I want without any questions so everyone stays happy. It also helps to let your tank get to where it can start buying things on its own from frag sales. She also does a good job about letting me splurge during live sales a couple times a year.

The expectations part really helps us in our marriage for far more than the tank. If we outline what we expect from each other, things go much more smoothly and there is no “all you do is work on that tank” because she already knew that on Saturday I said I was going to take 2 hours to clean the sump or that each night after we put our son down, I go stare for 20-30 min before coming back out to hang out with her.

For us this works.

 

[Crabs McJones]

lucky you, I don't dare clean the skimmer when shes around, and when she does come home and says "Whats that awful smell" I blame it on the dog and that's my family balance.

When i'm cleaning the skimmer cup, she makes it a point to stay in the other room ;Hilarious

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

Actually I put my wife and family to the side as I take care of the tanks. Jk

My wife is actually really understanding. I do homework with the kids and take them to classes and then I do tank work Monday to Friday and family on weekends.

That's funny!