How to be a happy reefer

[Randy Holmes-Farley Verified Community Expert]

Some thoughts on how to be happy in this hobby. It’s all about expectations. With the right expectations, disappointment is much less likely than a happy surprise.

1. Expect everything to be very expensive. I saw a nice looking coral for sale on the local reef club forum. Though it might be worth getting. What could it cost? A couple hundred dollars? Think well over two thousand. Pass.

2. Expect building the system to take far longer and present more obstacles than seems probable. Bulkheads won’t fit; wrong plug ends; oops, broke that thing; spilled that other thing; can’t reach behind the tank; screw fell behind the rocks; pump not strong enough; the possible list is endless. If you expect constant problems, and they end up only semi-constant, you can be happy!

3. Expect the evolving tank to have all sorts of undesirable things happen in and around it. Algae, dinos, dead corals, mean crabs, fighting fish, collapsed rock work, leaks, failing lights, stalled pump, broken heater, etc. Any day where nothing bad happens is a day to be happy!

4. Expect the tank will never be as great as the tanks you envy on line. If you are very lucky and unusually well funded with lots of time to devote, maybe your tank will be the talk of Reef2Reef. But that’s usually not a desirable goal because it is often not an attainable one. A better goal is one where creatures thrive and you enjoy watching and helping them, whatever they are. That is both attainable and satisfying. Keeping up with the Jones’ often is not.

Remember, this hobby should be fun. Make it fun by not expecting everything to be perfect, because it won’t be, and it need not be. :)

 

[fandaga]

I feel like all the reefers at my LFS are stoned and have big smiles all the time. Seems like a correlation.

 

[Malum Argenteum]

What a nice idea for a thread. Very much needed. :)

I approach a reef tank as an ongoing project that has no end goal, exactly. More like cultivating a relationship than baking a cake.

I feel like all the reefers at my LFS are stoned and have big smiles all the time. Seems like a correlation.

Sure it's a correlation -- why do you think those things are called 'reefers'? :p

 

[Gumbies R Us]

Thank you for sharing this! I feel like it is easy to get bogged down with reefing and begin to "turn against" the hobby when things go wrong. However, this is a hobby we get to enjoy, and sometimes it's a simple stop to remember why we started reef tanks in the first place.

 

[vlangel]

Some thoughts on how to be happy in this hobby. It’s all about expectations. With the right expectations, disappointment is much less likely than a happy surprise.

1. Expect everything to be very expensive. I saw a nice looking coral for sale on the local reef club forum. Though it might be worth getting. What could it cost? A couple hundred dollars? Think well over two thousand. Pass.

2. Expect building the system to take far longer and present more obstacles than seems probable. Bulkheads won’t fit; wrong plug ends; oops, broke that thing; spilled that other thing; can’t reach behind the tank; screw fell behind the rocks; pump not strong enough; the possible list is endless. If you expect constant problems, and they end up only semi-constant, you can be happy!

3. Expect the evolving tank to have all sorts of undesirable things happen in and around it. Algae, dinos, dead corals, mean crabs, fighting fish, collapsed rock work, leaks, failing lights, stalled pump, broken heater, etc. Any day where nothing bad happens is a day to be happy!

4. Expect the tank will never be as great as the tanks you envy on line. If you are very lucky and unusually well funded with lots of time to devote, maybe your tank will be the talk of Reef2Reef. But that’s usually not a desirable goal because it is often not an attainable one. A better goal is one where creatures thrive and you enjoy watching and helping them, whatever they are. That is both attainable and satisfying. Keeping up with the Jones’ often is not.

Remember, this hobby should be fun. Make it fun by not expecting everything to be perfect, because it won’t be, and it need not be. :)

Well said! I have learned to adopt the attitude that my reef tank is like a my garden that i have been keeping for 35 years and enjoy very much. I have battled poor dirt, slugs, voles and deer. A month ago a big storm blew a huge tree limb down and flattened a lot of the plants. But I never expect it to be perfect and I choose to

enjoy whatever beauty it gives me on any given day. This is what it looked like this morning.

 

[Dan_P]

Some thoughts on how to be happy in this hobby. It’s all about expectations. With the right expectations, disappointment is much less likely than a happy surprise.

1. Expect everything to be very expensive. I saw a nice looking coral for sale on the local reef club forum. Though it might be worth getting. What could it cost? A couple hundred dollars? Think well over two thousand. Pass.

2. Expect building the system to take far longer and present more obstacles than seems probable. Bulkheads won’t fit; wrong plug ends; oops, broke that thing; spilled that other thing; can’t reach behind the tank; screw fell behind the rocks; pump not strong enough; the possible list is endless. If you expect constant problems, and they end up only semi-constant, you can be happy!

3. Expect the evolving tank to have all sorts of undesirable things happen in and around it. Algae, dinos, dead corals, mean crabs, fighting fish, collapsed rock work, leaks, failing lights, stalled pump, broken heater, etc. Any day where nothing bad happens is a day to be happy!

4. Expect the tank will never be as great as the tanks you envy on line. If you are very lucky and unusually well funded with lots of time to devote, maybe your tank will be the talk of Reef2Reef. But that’s usually not a desirable goal because it is often not an attainable one. A better goal is one where creatures thrive and you enjoy watching and helping them, whatever they are. That is both attainable and satisfying. Keeping up with the Jones’ often is not.

Remember, this hobby should be fun. Make it fun by not expecting everything to be perfect, because it won’t be, and it need not be. :)

Nicely said! Here are a few more points.

Managing expectations is a skill that can be learned, but without this skill, getting into the saltwater aquarium hobby is going to be painful.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Enjoy your own aquarium.

Tolerating delayed gratification is a must. On average, this hobby is not going to deliver much gratification when first starting out. Enjoy the journey because you might never reach your destination.

Hobbies are activities meant to kill free time. Quit trying to automate everything. Like a successful gardener, getting your hands dirty is a critical success factor in this hobby.

Little in your background and training prepares you for maintaining a saltwater aquarium. Expect to learn a great deal.

 

[reely989]

One of the biggest realizations for me is realizing all this testing we do is done with HOBBY test kits. The exact number isn't the end all be all. Just try to be somewhere within the accepted range and keep it somewhat steady imo.

 

[skey44]

When something fails make it better and add a redundancy. Honestly the peace of mind of my controller and skimmer overflow sensor have really added to my reefing joy. Also when something goes wrong I tend to over react. Corals get a little less colorful or growth slows and I can feel pretty bad about the tank. I try to take a step back, remind myself what is going well and carry on with the process. Usually 3 days after something is not looking as good as it did it bounces back. Then I feel dumb for being so upset… then happy bc everything is ok. And the skimmer isn’t going to overflow again.

 

[Reefer Matt]

Yup, very true. I found that making actual, real life friends in reefing makes it a lot less expensive. You also gain a support network of people who will usually come over and help you diagnose and fix your tank issues.

However, when I try to explain reefing to those outside the hobby, I just say, “it’s something to throw your extra money at”, lol! Then they get it. Most people have their indulgences that help them in their journey through life. Reefing is a very special one if you allow yourself to enjoy all the experiences, not just the good.

 

[Subsea]

Well said! I have learned to adopt the attitude that my reef tank is like a my garden that i have been keeping for 35 years and enjoy very much. I have battled poor dirt, slugs, voles and deer. A month ago a big storm blew a huge tree limb down and flattened a lot of the plants. But I never expect it to be perfect and I choose to

enjoy whatever beauty it gives me on any given day. This is what it looked like this morning.

Dawn,
Spring in Pennsylvania is gorgeous. Your garden is stunning and I am jealous of your weather. Here in Texas, Summer is brutal and we have no Winter, just a handful of cold fronts.

Marine tanks do not need be expensive, especially if you enjoy collecting. As an avid outdoorsman I enjoy going fishing. When fish don’t cooperate, I collect grass shrimp & green mollies and have found them in fresh to full salt water environments.

 

[Goaway]

You know, this might need to be a sticky for new comers.

I used to think "a couple hundred for the pretty coral" too. Now it has gone up to thousands. Oh the pain. Even though a couple of hundred is still bad. A lot of frags are just the size of a dime these days and over 50.

A lot of new reefers really have no idea how deep of a mud pit they have stepped into the moment the tank is started.

I guess even seasoned reefers can be humbled by dinoflagellates.

 

[vlangel]

Dawn,
Spring in Pennsylvania is gorgeous. Your garden is stunning and I am jealous of your weather. Here in Texas, Summer is brutal and we have no Winter, just a handful of cold fronts.

Marine tanks do not need be expensive, especially if you enjoy collecting. As an avid outdoorsman I enjoy going fishing. When fish don’t cooperate, I collect grass shrimp & green mollies and have found them in fresh to full salt water environments.

May is my favorite month although May of '25 had way more days in the 50s than in the 70s, LOL. The cool environment has kept flowers fresh much longer so there is the good with the bad.
I would enjoy collecting shrimp or anything in brackish pools but none of those at my end of PA.

 

[chapter7]

#KEEPREEFINGFUN

 

[Reginald Reefer III]

Nicely said! Here are a few more points.

Managing expectations is a skill that can be learned, but without this skill, getting into the saltwater aquarium hobby is going to be painful.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Enjoy your own aquarium.

Tolerating delayed gratification is a must. On average, this hobby is not going to deliver much gratification when first starting out. Enjoy the journey because you might never reach your destination.

Hobbies are activities meant to kill free time. Quit trying to automate everything. Like a successful gardener, getting your hands dirty is a critical success factor in this hobby.

Little in your background and training prepares you for maintaining a saltwater aquarium. Expect to learn a great deal.

I think (bold above) is a big point that many people don't understand. There is some technical aptitude and skill required for this hobby not only in mechanics, but also in chemistry, materials science and physics. I think the people who have a more technical brain that can sometimes be creative are the best at keeping reefs.

Maybe its just my adhd, but waking up every morning to see the actinics come on while I drink my cup of coffee keeps me going. I love seeing the milli dancing in the current. The community on here that is willing to help without judement. I can keep going on...

This is a fantastic thread!

 

[Science/G]

After decades in this hobby I came to realize bigger isn't always better. When a hobby becomes a chore, the love is gone. I love my 30 gallon mixed reef, though it has been a challenge at times. Being at home all day on the weekends, watching my lights ramp up to a full daylight period, then down to a crazy deep blue, full on coral flouresence show, is still a magical experience for me.

 

[areefer01]

Comparison is the thief of joy. Enjoy your own aquarium.

This is a good statement.

Tolerating delayed gratification is a must. On average, this hobby is not going to deliver much gratification when first starting out. Enjoy the journey because you might never reach your destination.

An even better one. Vision should be based on a 5 to 8 year journey to start with a goal of 10, 15, and many more years beyond. If we are successful our reefs can be handed down to our children or grand children or clubs upon our passing.

Great job Mr. Dan_P

 

[vlangel]

Vision should be based on a 5 to 8 year journey to start with a goal of 10, 15, and many more years beyond. If we are successful our reefs can be handed down to our children or grand children or clubs upon our passing.

Having been in this hobby more than 2 and a half decades and having all my tanks making it to the 5-8 year or beyond mark, I can testify that they are the most enjoyable when mature. Yes, there is an initial hyper excitement when planning and starting a new tank. That excitement can be addictive, so when the hard work of getting through some of the new tank challenges kick in, the hobby loses its attraction for a lot of folks and they never make it to the satisfying stage of enjoying mature colonies of coral or a community of fish that each have their own territories and sleeping spots.
With my current tank going to hit the 9 year mark in Nov, even I am tempted by the lure of new tank excitement! I love the process of aquascaping and artistry of it. And it's not that I am not happy with the aquascape in my current tank because I am. So then I think about revamping what I have or adding another tank. However, I know myself well enough that I do best with just 1 tank and the 1 tank I have now is so stable and so nice that I remind myself of what I really have! It's human to get restless even when we have something good. It's wise to remind ourselves to be thankful for what we have!

 

[Paul B]

I'm so happy with my tank that I had to stop by a plastic surgeon's office to get my face bigger to fit my smile. I also had to do the same thing the day I retired.

 

[Hairyteeth]

I feel like all the reefers at my LFS are stoned and have big smiles all the time. Seems like a correlation.

I know I am

 

[Reefering1]

I know I am