Introducing Steady Chem 2025

It’s the product you’ve all been waiting for.

Minions in the HF basement lab have developed calcium neocarbonate.

It’s a special crystalline form of calcium carbonate not yet known to the public at large. It’s very special property is that it is exactly saturated in seawater at calcium = 420 ppm and alkalinity = 7.7 dKH. At any calcium or alk lower than this, it dissolves to exactly maintain them. At any value higher, it acts as a seed crystal to precipitate more. Thus, calcium and alk are held perfectly steady. And better still, this dissolution is not impacted by pH, temperature, or water flow.

One suggested use is as aquarium substrate. We call this smart sand. It can be colored white, black, or anything in between. It also glows red when exposed to UV at 380 nm. Gobies love it. The glow helps them see when under the sand.

Wait, there’s more!

The lab minions extended the theory to magnesium and developed magnesium pseudocarbonate. It maintains magnesium at 1325 ppm.

An finally, the hardest one to come up with, finished just last night around 2 AM, trace-O-matic. It dissolves to exactly maintain every trace element, whether biologically required or not, at exactly the concentrations found at a depth of 5 meters off Green Island in the Great Barrier Reef on June 15, 2024 at 7:30 AM.

Together, these inventions will completely revolutionize reefing. From the tiniest pico tank to the biggest public aquarium, all that is needed is evaporation too off.

Steady Chem is the trade marked name for the combination of these three products. Prices start at $27 per pound, but are cheaper by subscription. Delivery is always free.

The minions are currently developing a calculator to know how much is needed for any given aquarium!

Is this a dry run for April fools day?
 
Confused Curb Your Enthusiasm GIF
 
No, just Louis Pasteur’s birthday. :)
Gosh darn it Mr. Holmes-Farley
If this is a prank I’m going to be awfully disappointed.

Please say it’s real!!! PLEASE, I’m begging you
!
I Need It Please GIF
 
Ok, in case anyone doesn’t yet realize, this thread is satire. :)
Well that wasn’t funny at all. :p
I was already counting up the cash from selling my dosing pumps and Trident!!!

Between this and the “Phosphates Aren’t Real” thread, I’m never believing anyone ever again!
:)
 
Well that wasn’t funny at all. :p
I was already counting up the cash from selling my dosing pumps and Trident!!!
You got me.
Between this and the Phosphates Aren’t Real thread, I’m never believing anyone ever again!
:)

Sorry. I tried to be pretty extreme. lol
 
Sorry. I tried to be pretty extreme. lol
Yeah, but when it comes from someone with your background it’s believable no matter how extreme it sounds to you. So in my mind…. My gullible mind. I’m sad. :rolling-on-the-floor-laughing:
 
Well done Randy. The thread also points out how easy it would be to get believers/ followers of anything, regardless how absurd the claim, just by a well known name saying it. Similar to what already happens with certain companies...

Yes, an all to common occurrence.
 
Yes, an all to common occurrence.
In your unofficial opinion, do you anticipate the industry getting worse in this regard? Short of a reckoning of the hobby, do you see a realistic path back? Or is it just the good with the bad and it's not going anywhere, people need to learn to wade through the bs?
 
In your unofficial opinion, do you anticipate the industry getting worse in this regard? Short of a reckoning of the hobby, do you see a realistic path back? Or is it just the good with the bad and it's not going anywhere, people need to learn to wade through the bs?

Sadly, I think many folks will continue to get info from limited sources, and folks with the most to gain or lose have incentive to be the loudest voices. Folks with no dog in the fight eventually decide they have better things to do with their lives than fight misinformation.
 

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