So today I had to go to a pain Management doctor to see if I need another back surgery. I don't.
But while I was there I wanted her to take care of two trigger fingers I have. I already had nine surgeries for trigger fingers because for some stupid reason, I am prone to that.
Maybe it's from all my bungee jumping. :anguished-face:
Anyway, to fix this she gives you a shot in the palm of your hand near the affected finger. This feels like you are getting a colonoscopy through your finger and one of the most painful things I have ever done and I had 36 surgeries, kidney stones and broke many of my bones and tore most of the things holding my bones together. I didn't have a sissy job sitting behind a computer while throwing pencils up into the ceiling to see if they would stick in the ceiling tiles.
Being this shot is so painful, first she gives you shots of Novocain, just like a dentist but a dentists chair is more comfortable.
The Novocain shot is more painful then the real shot so before she gives you that, she freezes it.
Her assistant, (who looks like he just got out of high school) came in with the can of freezing stuff and he was reading the can. The doctor said to him "Did you ever do this before?". He said "No".
So I said, then you are not going to do it now. The doctor showed him how to do it anyway because he had to learn on "someone".
She gets this gel stuff and dumps a glob of it on my hand. Thats for the sonogram thing like they do for pregnant Ladies, and it lets her see exactly where she has to put the needle because if she misses, the stuff could come out your ear or some other orifice. :confounded-face:
OK, now she knows exactly where to shoot me and she aims the numbing needle at my hand and tells the assistant to freeze my hand in that spot.
Just then, her phone rings. It's tripple A and it turns out she has a flat on her Tesla outside and they need to get in her car. Apparently, Tesla's don't have spare tires or a key and they need your phone or a code to get in.
Still holding the needle centimeters from my palm, she tells the assistant to hold the phone on her ear. While she is speaking to the car guy, she tells the assistant to feeze my hand.
He pulls the trigger and fumbles with the phone and shoots the freeze stuff all over my arm almost giving me frostbite elbow. Everything is frozen except the part on my hand where she is about to stick the needle.
The guy with the car yells, the door didn't open. Now the assistant gets a new can of ice and shoots the right place. My hand and arm was so frozen that Jo Jo Starbuck could have done a triple axel on it.
She sticks the Novocain needle in and the pain was so severe, my wife screamed and so did her cousin who was sitting at home watching Naked and Afraid. :rolleyes:
The car guy yells, I can't open the door. She yells back, "I'm with a patient and can't come out".
He says, "I need to go to another job. She says "Wait" and tells me that she has to go outside. But she pulled out the needle before she left so I am sitting there with Ice man. :confused:
She comes back and apologizes and gets back to sticking things in me. Now she sticks the thing in my other finger. Same reaction.
Now she fills another, much larger needle which looked more like the baster I use to feed my fish with and tells me "I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt.
I said, "Lets try it on ice man first".
But he was already in Dominoes. She plunges this tire iron in my palm and I tried not to scream to loud because she is kind of young and pretty so I didn't want to look like a Jiboni. But dam, it hurt.
As she pushed in on the plunger, I could feel this fire going all the way to the end of my fingers and I even think some of it went into my big toe. :oops:
I drove home with a really swollen hand which was totally numb.
I went to look at my fish to relax me and right in the front of the tank, I see a big dead fish.
I never get a dead fish and don't even know which fish it was. It was a big fish, as large as a watchman goby and had the same markings so I assumed it was my watchman. But he was there smiling at me.
I looked at all my fish, almost 50 of them and can't tell which fish it was. It was kind of half eaten. It may have been something that was in there growing in a cave and I didn't even know I had it.
It was a very weird day.
