This is where I criticize people...

[chipmunkofdoom2]

I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences here. Please feel free to use the "report" button or reach out to me directly when you see personal attacks or anything else that is not in line with the Terms of Service. As we interact with each other it is important to keep the problem the problem instead of making the person be the problem. I have experienced toxicity on several other forums and we try very hard to make no place for it here.

Sorry for not being more clear, I didn't mean an actual attack or name-calling. By "attacking your character" I meant something along the lines of an ad hominem in which someone attempts to discredit an argument or point you're making by discrediting you. It's all within TOS.

 

[kaylajoy]

Personally I don't think anyone owes me acknowledgement or replies although it is nice. There are much ruder things people can do on forums.

Edit: The most simple explanation is they forgot and went back to their tank!

 

[KrisReef]

Once again I have seen this today and it has really annoyed me, so I am going to vent to you a little. An OP asks for help and so a person spends a ton of time giving them the advice they wanted, taking photos of their tank, finding links, old posts, and so on and then writing it all up, but the OP never replies, posts again, or even acknowledges that they read it by "liking" it. What is the problem? Some people are so rude and I hate it.
(Also, thanks to everyone who has been so generous to me with their help over the last few months.)

I try not to let things like this bother me. They used to. When I figured out why I realized that the missing person had not met my expectation of saying; "Thanks" or just acknowledging the other persons effort. As I got older I also realized there may be another reason for no reply;

The OP may have lost their password or forgot their moniker.
The OP may have gotten busy and solved the problem themselves and never came back to read the replies.
The OP may have had a stroke from stress and got turned into a ReefBall!

Something to consider, and I hope this reply helps folks process things better than I've done in the past. i learned the hard way.

Edit: I just learned about Reef Balls

 

[Lokipsl]

It only takes so many trips around the sun before you start to think that there are people out there that suck. Now don’t get me wrong, there are, with out a doubt, some sucky people out there, but why let that distort your perception. Be that helpful person on the forum because your reply could be the answer some other reefer doing his due diligence was looking for.

 

[Benjammin]

I new to being a member of an online forum. I have to say though, 99% of my interactions here are friendly and polite. I can’t say the same when walking down the street.
Also, I love the race to ID critters and other strange stuff.

 

[DeniseAndy]

I do not always look for reactions or even think of it really. I can understand why some want their work and effort to be noticed or at least acknowledged. Especially when tons of thought has gone into it. I agree, a simple like goes a long way.
Not remembering is one of my mishaps, but when you like a post or someone responds to your post, you get notified of it. Then, just a quick look and like is all that is needed.
Just those little things about life these days that is gone with the wind. Like hello on the sidewalk or a thanks to the mail carrier or delivery person. Can you tell I grew up in a small town?

 

[Weasel1960]

I know the thread you are referring to. It’s a tough time when you have literally dozens of posts coming at you many with conflicting information and many berating the OP for moving to quickly. As you say most posts were at least acknowledged with a thumbs up or a thanks, or additional questions, those that had negative overtones were ignored. I am still new here, it’s tough to get a straight answer from those of you with more experience because you all have differing opinions based on your experiences. Telling someone they shouldn’t be in this hobby if they can’t slow down or don’t acknowledge you with text is not in the spirit of the forum. And hijacking a thread with internal arguments between experienced folks is counter productive as well.

The reward is giving good advice and hoping it is received and used. Maybe a thumbs up in the thread and later if it works I would come back and thank you either publicly or through a PM, if it didn’t work I would’ve on to other advice.

 

[fish farmer]

I try not to let things like this bother me. They used to. When I figured out why I realized that the missing person had not met my expectation of saying; "Thanks" or just acknowledging the other persons effort. As I got older I also realized there may be another reason for no reply;

The OP may have lost their password or forgot their moniker.
The OP may have gotten busy and solved the problem themselves and never came back to read the replies.
The OP may have had a stroke from stress and got turned into a ReefBall!

Something to consider, and I hope this reply helps folks process things better than I've done in the past. i learned the hard way.

Edit: I just learned about Reef Balls

Once on another forum I was selling a drilled 55 gallon tank. I posted it. A couple days later my GF was in another state in the hospital with a bad case of flu or something. I wasn't able to go down, but she was in good hands and we talked daily. She came back home and then I happened to get sick myself for about a week. So two weeks went by and I forgot about my posting. A guy had replied twice and when I finally realized, I told him the situation and he backed out of the sale and even later criticized me on the forum for not being reliable. I sold the tank to someone else.

 

[Rmckoy]

You can’t get along with everyone or agree with everyone’s opinions .
Some ill read and pass through .
some ill offer my 2cents or experience .

some are very persistent asking for advice but refuse to change the old way that’s not working for something new .

“ if you always do what’s you have always done, You will always get what you always got “

 

[Scorpius]

I wish folks would use the search function before starting a thread. Your question has probably been answered numerous times already. This is not an easy hobby so you might as well become an expert at researching and learning now.

 

[anthonygf]

I wish folks would use the search function before starting a thread. Your question has probably been answered numerous times already. This is not an easy hobby so you might as well become an expert at researching and learning now.

Perfect!

 

[ca1ore]

I do find folks inability to run a simple search kind of annoying. How many 'should I QT' or 'is a flame angel reef safe' threads do we really need. I try to return to my own threads to respond to what others have said, as long as the comments are thoughtful or useful. Otherwise not something that really bothers me. It is amusing though, when somebody asks for advice and then proceeds to argue with the advice given.

 

[Fourstars]

Just remember that your post will fall on many more eyes then you could imagine. And if your reaction score is higher then the times you open your mouth then your doin good. If not then you just talk to much.

 

[tehmadreefer]

Welcome to the world of Internet forums. Nobody is required to do anything.

 

[KrisReef]

Just remember that your post will fall on many more eyes then you could imagine. And if your reaction score is higher then the times you open your mouth then your doin good. If not then you just talk to much.

Guilty.
Lot of thoughtful comments on here. I think I figured out a few things following the clues.

"Nothing new under the sun," I'm trying to remember who said that?

 

[Lemon]

Rude people are just rude people.
Will never change.
Much easier to be rude when behind a screen.
Likely catches up with them down the road.

I think I am the opposite, I don't know who is behind the screen and I have a some internet friends with serious depression and I don't want to un intentionally encourage it, by being rude

 

[JumboShrimp]

When someone goes beyond just a generic reply, and actually does some detailed research or provides an in-depth response to your question, a simple “Like” I would view as minimal proper etiquette.