Today I couldn't walk

Paul B · Apr 4, 2015

Yesterday I went swimming like I do a few times a week for exercise and a few hours later I get this sharp pain in the my hip joint. So I figure I am old and you are supposed to get pains. If you don't have a variety of pains, you didn't work hard enough all your life. So last night it woke me up and it got worse. Today I can hardly walk and I need a cane. Not a problem as my wife has one so I borrow hers. It is getting worse and tomorrow is Easter so I want to play with my Grand Kids and I decide to go to one of those walk in clinics. Here on Long Island NY I am surrounded by some of the best hospitals in the country but if you go there and you don't have an arrow sticking out of your head or they don't have to pry you out of a 1957 Oldsmobile using the Jaws of Life, you will be waiting there longer than the time it takes for garlic and cleaner shrimp to cure ich. So this walk in clinic just opened less than a mile from my house. There are actually 4 of them with in walking distance, if I could walk. I go there and the nurse takes my insurance and all that. The sign outside reads "STAT Medical care", No Waiting. So after an hour, they call my name and this girl brings me into the small room. You know the room that they put you in because they know you were waiting a long time so they figure if you are in a different room, it won't feel like you waited for so long. So 45 minutes later I find out that it was worth it because a Supermodel comes in to take my vitals. The degree of Supermodelness determines, to me anyway, how long you should wait. So I determined that the wait was OK. Yes, I am very shallow. So she asks me the questions, do I smoke, drink, hang glide, bungee jump, etc. stuff like that. Then she leaves and I wait. After a while the Doctor comes in and to my surprise, "she" is also a Supermodel. This visit is turning out pretty good. So she examines me and determines that I probably broke my hip. OK, thats a manly afliction that I can live with. But she wants to take an X Ray. The X Ray technition was not a Supermodel but he was very nice. The X Ray shows that I didn't break my hip. I just got a bunch of arthritis. Another Manly thing, not quite as Manly as a broken hip but it is what it is so I am feeling pretty good. The Supermodel Doctor takes this long, Manly looking dagger and says she is going to give me an injection into the joint. This is not making me happy but being I am a Man, I say, go ahead, I need to wake up a little anyway. So as she gives me the shot, I try to hide the tears rolling down my face and I didn't scream until I was all the way outside, in my car and down the block. But before I left, I had to go back to the waiting room to wait for the X Ray to give to my doctor. A big guy sits down next to me and I could tell he was a plumber by the shirt he had on, that said, Plumber. He looks at me and says, He got stung. I am figuring he is in this big deal clinic and he will wait an hour before he sees a Doctor so he must have gotten stung by a scorpion, lionfish or box jelly that kills in minutes. I asked, what did you get stung by? He says. A Bee. A said, A Bee. One Bee? He says, yes one bee, but it really hurts. A bee. Now that is not Manly and borders on Sissyness.

Dapperjman · Apr 4, 2015

Maybe he was allergic, in which case I don't blame him [emoji43]

tnguy86 · Apr 4, 2015

Ttt. Lol

Paul B · Apr 4, 2015

Maybe he was allergic, in which case I don't blame him

He didn't look allergic,he jut looked like a Girly Man.

Paul B · Apr 6, 2015

Pain is severe now because you can't get a lot of Drs. on Easter. I am trying to get an emergency appt this morning. I can't sit or lay down and standing ain't working either. But I am a Man and will get through it. I am not sure about the fish as I can't get downstairs to feed them so they are on a diet until I can make the stairs.

Paul B · Apr 6, 2015

I got an emergency appointment this morning with a real Doctor. I could have gotten an appointment yesterday with a witch doctor but he texted to tell me he ran out of chicken bones so I went to a real bone guy who went to high school and everything. I am not a Noob when it comes to joint pain and operations. I had so many shoulder and knee operations that they don't even close them any more preferring to use Velcro.
This morning I went to the Dr's office and I didn't even have to steer because my car knows the way. So they put me in the room with the table, and the Supermodel nurse tells me to "Jump up on the table" I told her if I could get on the table I wouldn't be here and if I could jump, I would jump on her. OK, I didn't say that. Not out loud anyway even though Supermodel nurses really go for aging, bald, retired electricians who walk like an lady in her 90s.
So the Doctor comes in and he is younger than my Daughter. Much younger. As a matter of fact, he is eating a lolly pop. He asks me whats the problem and I tell him my hip is screwed up. So he grabs my foot and twists it a little. They are going to have a hard time getting the dent out of their ceiling from my head. He said, Wow, that must hurt. I said like Duh!
So he looks at the X Ray and tells me the hip that doesn't hurt is in worse shape. Now that makes me feel good. Then he says he wants to stick a needle in there and shoot in this "stuff". It is supposed to calm it down, lubricate it and take it out to dinner. It's like a circus in your hip. OK, so he brings in this sonogram machine like they see fetuses on and he rubs it over the hip. He finds the spot and takes out this "needle" that was a cross between a straw from a caramel Latte from Starbucks and the cane I have been using the last 3 days. Then he says "A little" pinch and sticks me with this thing and pushes it in 4 or 5", I thought he was also giving me a colonoscopy at the same time. I hold back the screams because the Supermodel is there. Then he says he is going to put in the medicine with a different needle, or probe but I think it was a turkey baster he had left over from Easter. After he "filled me up" I asked him what was in it. He said it is a something to relieve the pressure and lubricate it as well as a pain killer. It was really a shot of Wild Turkey Bourbon, Cognac and Vaseline. So he and the Supermodel leave and say it will take 2 or 3 minutes to work. So I am thinking, wow this is cool, I will be cured in 3 minutes so maybe I can walk out of here, go home and feed my fish as they have been on a diet because I can't get downstairs. After a few minutes, the Dr. comes back. He grabs my foot and twists a little. Now when the guy comes in to fix the dent in the ceiling from my head, he can fix both of them at the same time. He said, it should have gotten better. I asked him if he had the number of that Witch Doctor.
So now it's the MRI and all that. I know most people have gone through this and it is a part of aging. So if it didn't happen to you yet. Get ready.

SantaMonicaHelp · Apr 7, 2015

Haha, It must be hard to hold in the screams in front of the Supermodels. But they definitely help reduce the pain a little just by standing there. :thumb:
Good Job on taking the needle like a man Paul!

-YK

Iamonlyme · Apr 7, 2015

Take that nice gentle steroid didn't help I wish my patients had your humor lol hope your feeling better and the fish received a buffet

Paul B · Apr 7, 2015

I went to the hand Doctors today and filled out all the papers. The hand problem is a different one. This I have actually had before the hip thing. Normally I am the picture of health, but if you work construction for 40 years and you don't wear things out, you weren't working hard enough. So in the hand Dr's office (which is across the street from the hip guy) this Supermodel brings me into this white room that looked straight out of a Sci Fy movie like the Starship Enterprize. I loved it. Then the Supermodel was telling me all this and says Dr Korvorkian, or whatever his name is will be right in. I said, Who is that? I got an appointment with this other guy. The Supermodel said Oh My let me go find out. So she comes back in and it seemed I was in the wrong office. The guy I needed to see was in the same complex but a different floor. You would think they knew I didn't have an appointment there after they took my information. I got his address from his web site but they told me he moved. But I guess I am supposed to know that.
I really wanted to stay in the Supermodels office but I went to the other guy who gave me a shot of cortisone in my finger. So now from two days ago and today I am like a walking bucket of cortisone. So I am waiting 2 days for authorization for the MRI (for the hip) and they call me today saying I don't need an authorization so I was just writhing in pain for two days for nothing. If it were not for Supermodels, I would really hate to go to doctors.

I got into the MRI this afternoon (for the hip) and I like those things, I go to sleep but of course the noise is there to keep you awake. 20 minutes into the thing the guy pulls me out and says it is not working because I have metal on my. I had sweat pants on just because I know about the metal. I also have 4 staples in my shoulders from accidents but nothing near my hip. But he found a staple in the wasteband of the pants. I have no idea how that got in there but it screwed up the MRI and I had to do it over again.
But now, the hip is feeling better and I can bend the finger, all I need is hair and I will be good as new. :usa:

Iamonlyme, I don't know if the cortisone worked but it is feeling better. It maybe from all the running around I did today. When I go into a doctors office, or just about anywhere and people ask me how I am, I always say, Fantastic, No matter what, that is my answer. People complain to much and it drives me nuts.

Robertchrisroph · May 1, 2015

Wonderful lol

steve&mari · May 1, 2015

Your story telling is awesome and so true younger generation is lacking work ethic n drive they don't truely know hard labor n long work days for most of them. Not the old school work till you bleed n superglue n duct tape it closed n keep going. Hopefully you feel better even tho you're fantastic.

4FordFamily · May 1, 2015

You could really increase the throughput of this walk in clinic!

Paul B · May 1, 2015

and so true younger generation is lacking work ethic n drive they don't truely know hard labor n long work days for most of them. Not the old school work till you bleed n superglue n duct tape it closed n keep going.

I don't know anyone in the younger generation that has a work ethic. I think that if you don't work, you should starve. It has worked for thousands of years. I also think it should be illegal for your parents to buy you a car, cell phone, apartment, sex change etc. If you can't afford a car, walk. You will afford one very fast. If you are hungry, you will learn to work in Mc Donalds as there is always a "Help Wanted" sign outside. My Dad died suddenly when I was 10. At 12 my neighbor offered me a job in his junk yard cutting cars apart. I made $10.00 for 12 hours work on a Saturday. In those days $10.0 would get you into the movies 12 times and allowed you to have popcorn each time. Then I got another job on Friday nights cleaning a sea food market. I made another $10.00. That kind of money was almost unheard of then. Then at 16 I bought a Chevy for 8 bucks. I put in another 8 bucks for a carburetor rebuild kit and sold it for $175.00. Then I bought a Fiat for $75.00, put a few bucks into it and sold it for $150.00 and it went on and on. After work (as a electrician) I would fix cars. My car fixing made me more than my real job. I always had money, never took a loan, bought everything cash and never borrowed anything and never will. Money is easy, there is money all over the place. But if you are lazy or if some jobs are beneath you, you will have a problem getting money unless someone like your parents are silly enough to want to finance your lazy you know what. :smokin:

4FordFamily · May 1, 2015

^ I'm just under 30 and I agree.

Aquaph8 · May 1, 2015

Paul B said:
He didn't look allergic,he jut looked like a Girly Man.

I've read a bunch of your threads over the years and these are my two favorite posts, favorite quote above and completely agree with below.

Paul B said:
I don't know anyone in the younger generation that has a work ethic. I think that if you don't work, you should starve. It has worked for thousands of years. I also think it should be illegal for your parents to buy you a car, cell phone, apartment, sex change etc. If you can't afford a car, walk. You will afford one very fast. If you are hungry, you will learn to work in Mc Donalds as there is always a "Help Wanted" sign outside. My Dad died suddenly when I was 10. At 12 my neighbor offered me a job in his junk yard cutting cars apart. I made $10.00 for 12 hours work on a Saturday. In those days $10.0 would get you into the movies 12 times and allowed you to have popcorn each time. Then I got another job on Friday nights cleaning a sea food market. I made another $10.00. That kind of money was almost unheard of then. Then at 16 I bought a Chevy for 8 bucks. I put in another 8 bucks for a carburetor rebuild kit and sold it for $175.00. Then I bought a Fiat for $75.00, put a few bucks into it and sold it for $150.00 and it went on and on. After work (as a electrician) I would fix cars. My car fixing made me more than my real job. I always had money, never took a loan, bought everything cash and never borrowed anything and never will. Money is easy, there is money all over the place. But if you are lazy or if some jobs are beneath you, you will have a problem getting money unless someone like your parents are silly enough to want to finance your lazy you know what. :smokin:

Paul B · May 1, 2015

Thank you Aquaph8. I am opinionated and old so I don't have much filters on my posts any more. Eventually I will let it all out. But then of course, I will probably get banned. I see the world and life in general as very simple. Work and live. Don't take anything from anyone and never buy on credit unless you have the cash in your pocket. I use my credit card all the time, just so I can get the free trips. But I never paid off anything on time. I don't even know how to do that. When we first got married, we didn't have any money and I just got out of the army. We paid for our wedding and it was an elaborate New York ceremony. When I went to work, I would wait by the garbage in Penn Station in Manhattan and take a newspaper when someone would throw it away. But I always made enough. In the 70s I bought this Jeep for $700.00. My wife was really mad at me. In the 70s no one had 4 wheel drive. It was un heard of. One Monday we woke up to 18" of snow that was not predicted. I made $1,400.00 that day plowing snow which was months salary. She never complained about that Jeep again as it was a huge money maker. When 4 wheel drives became common and I couldn't plow snow because every kid had one. I sold it for $700.00.
That day I plowed the Grand Central Parkway from my house in Queens all the way to the Chrysler building where I was working. I parked right on the sidewalk as no one in NY was moving except me. All of Long Island followed me in. I called my office from a pay phone and they told me I was nuts and to go home. I plowed the Grand Central Parkway all the way home taking a short cut through the Worlds Fair. All of Manhattan followed me.
A little creativity goes a long way in making money. And keeping a reef tank.

Eienna · May 1, 2015

Owwwie! Hope you feel better soon!

Paul B · May 1, 2015

The gray panel under the door was from a radiator cover in the Chrysler building. After that day I bought 4 new, much larger tires and put 4 snow chains on the thing.

Eienna, I am feeling fantastic .