Quality of life making 45k in Virgina Beach?

[RMS18]

My entire life I have wanted to become a cop. I am halfway through the process in VA beach and now it's becoming reality of the life I'll be able to live.

I have done well in the past (130k+) currently my new career is around 80k with room to advance. I currently reside in Jersey. I don't love what I'm doing, and feel that the career of a cop is what I was meant to do. However, now I'm starting to worry how I will be able to afford a house, marry my gf and start a family on 45k. My gf is a teacher and with her income down in VA we would gross about 85k.

I understand my life style will have to change such as I'll have to say good by to my $520 month bmw lease, along with other things. My main objective is to live comfortable, own a nice house and start a family. I do not want to live paycheck to paycheck and not be able to save and provide my family the life they will deserve.

So my question to anyone out there that are currently in the position I might take on in 6 months is, what kind of life do you live?

I understand with overtime and moving up in the ranks I'll make more but that is very far down the road and for a while I'll be making as much as I did when I was 23 years old (29 now).

Big problem is if i make this move, my girlfriend will be leaving a teacher's postion here in jersey and if we ever came back, her chances of getting back into a school will be very very very very hard. So I have a lot on my shoulders. She is backing me up 100% and will be by my side, but this past week I feel like I am a million pounds.

Do I stay in jersey, stay close to family and stay in a career I'm not crazy about and live ok. Or do I move, leave family behind, leave a good job, take my gf away from a great postion and pursue law enforcement. [emoji29]

 

[Goat33]

Stay...bird in the hand.

 

[saltyfilmfolks]

I wish I had your problems.

 

[WVReefJunkie]

I think you should pray about it, and put it in Gods hands!

 

[tj w]

Thats an interesting dilemma. I say follow your dreams. You are young enough to do whatever u choose. If ur not happy with ur career now u still have time to change it

 

[RMS18]

I think you should pray about it, and put it in Gods hands!

I do, I ask for signs, advice anything lol.

 

[RMS18]

Thats an interesting dilemma. I say follow your dreams. You are young enough to do whatever u choose. If ur not happy with ur career now u still have time to change it

I feel like I am so behind in life, I wanted to be married by 30 and a baby by 31-32.

 

[kschweer]

I feel like I am so behind in life, I wanted to be married by 30 and a baby by 31-32.

Being close to your age I feel the same way a lot of the time. I had a plan in my head for my life and it hasn't gone according to that plan at all. I can be extremely hard in myself about it and in my opinion it's not worth it. There's a plan for everyone even if it's not what we have in our heads. A good friend of mine once told me if you want to hear God laugh, let him know your plans. I say go with your gut. I don't make much money but I get by. I enjoy what I do which makes things easier. I recently bought a home and am saving for a ring for my girlfriend. I think at the end of the day it will come down to how accustomed to the 100k lifestyle you guys are and how much you're willing to change. Best of luck with everything and I'm sure the right answer will come to you when you least expect it.

 

[smh254]

I've had 3 friends go down to VA beach for the police Academy. There all back up here in Northern VA now. Only 1 of them is still a cop. The others were cops but have moved on. They said the pay was to low for what they did especially living in Northern VA.

 

[AlexG]

I will offer the advise my Father gave me. What lifestyle do you want to live? Get the job that supports the life style you want to live. While having a career you love is nice remember that your free time away from work is just as or more important. I wanted to be a marine biologist until I found out the lifestyle I would have to live. I studied information technology instead. Several years ago I was really considering leaving my career for a shot at a dream job but I did not want to throw away the career I had. I hope whatever decision you make works out for you.

 

[Rlynch818]

I would just say that you are still young. While I like my job, and make really good money doing it, I definitely don't love it. Sometimes sacrificing a little in the short term is worth it in the end. Think of the life you want to have in 10 years. Consider things other than the actual job (where you want to live, what you like to do in off time, etc) and work towards that goal. Life isn't all about work. (And, in my opinion, a lease on a car is a terrible idea unless there is a way that you can write off the lease on your taxes... JMO!) Good luck in whatever you do! Again, I can't stress enough that you are still young!

 

[RMS18]

I appreciate all the responses, other than my girlfriend to talk to I don't have many others. Talking to her about this is tough as I need advice from an outside party and experienced views.

 

[tristanfish]

Only you can decide on your path..... But I'll say one thing. You don't always have to "love" your job, just be good at it and provide for a good quality of life. There's not a lot of people that can be in that position. It seems to me you've already gotten to where you wanted to be.

 

[drstratton]

My youngest son (25yrs old) is a Trooper in the WA State Patrol, he loves it! The pay isn't very good and they are in a crisis right now trying to get new recruits and keep them from going to other agencies for more pay! It looks like they might finally get a pay increase, but he's just happy to serve and also happy with his current station in life! He will be getting married in June after his fiance graduates from Nursing school. You are definitely looking at a huge change in your life and I can see where it is a hard decision. I'm glad to hear that you are seeking Gods guidance in this, I will pray that He opens the doors to the path you should follow and close the others. Money isn't everything and as long as you are happy and have a job to provide for the needs of your family, you will be okay!

 

[ReefFrenzy]

Four years ago left a decade old career in law enforcement to pursue my own business. I LOVED the people who wore the badge and worked along side me, but the internal politics, low pay, terrible schedule and other negative factors would cause me to ask you to think long and hard about that career path. Society doesn't view law enforcement they way it did a decade or even 5 years ago for that matter. Many of my close friends I left behind are cashing in accrued sick and military time to retire early and looking for any way to get out of policing.

If you have the ability to stay in the private sector I think it is a lot safer for you and your family. That is just my $.02

Having grown up outside of Philly I don't blame you for wanting to get out of NJ..

 

[ReeferBob]

How old are you? I had the same dilemma 12 years ago. I got accepted by the FBI as a special agent. I went through up to phase 3 testing and then decided I did not want to go that far back in my career salary-wise to start over again. I knew I would regret it at the time and to this day I still do regret it. I am in a job that pays very well but I hate it. Follow your heart! Sometimes you have to go back to go forward.

 

[RMS18]

How old are you? I had the same dilemma 12 years ago. I got accepted by the FBI as a special agent. I went through up to phase 3 testing and then decided I did not want to go that far back in my career salary-wise to start over again. I knew I would regret it at the time and to this day I still do regret it. I am in a job that pays very well but I hate it. Follow your heart! Sometimes you have to go back to go forward.

I'm 29. My previous career I worked my way up from 50k to 140k. I left that to go into a safer side of the industry still in management but making less at 80k about. Going into LE would kick me down to the 45k. There are good point with both opinions everyone has, just tuff because of the consequences I will face especially for my gf if doesn't work out down there.

 

[aaron23]

i'd say honestly if you're comfortable with where you are and your goals are to save buy a house marry the gf stay close to family and shes in a job that she enjoys you shouldnt pursue law enforcement bc your goals will be pushed even further (buying home future etc). try to find something different more enjoyable in the career that you're in .

 

[Jimbo]

Other than the pay , how important to you is it to have weekends Off? Holidays off? Anniversaries, kid's birthdays, family parties? Be prepared to be working most of those ,especially the first few years.

Discuss it with your GF/ future wife too because the life you'll live will effect her too. The job takes a toll, not only on you but on the whole family.

Then through all of that and your 45K a year you get to be second guessed and judged about split second decisions by people who know nothing about the job you have to do.

Think long and hard on this. I admire you for wanting to do this in spite of the current , how should I say, anti-police climate out there...

That said, no cop ever took the job because of the pay ! Like you said, it's more of a "calling" than a job. Best of luck with your decision!

 

[moulton1853]

I feel like I am so behind in life, I wanted to be married by 30 and a baby by 31-32.

It's hard when you have a vision set in your head but that type of thing sometimes isn't the best thing to hold on to. Life changes in the blink of an eye. You have to do what is in your heart to be happy.