Any good jokes?

[Angler and Eels]

Share a funny joke. The only rule to this thread is no meme.

What is the most slippery country?

Greece

 

[TheEngineer]

What kind of cheese isn't yours?
Nacho cheese

What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?
I lava you

Knock, knock. <Who's there?> Ach. <Ach who?> Bless you!

These are the jokes my three year old is into at the moment.

 

[FMF0331]

Did you hear about the mushroom no one liked, he didn't know why....he was a Fungii ( fun guy )

 

[Jimbo662]

Heard this one this morning...

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello to the other side!

 

[Liquidangel22]

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean Beef


What about a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef


What do you call a deer with no eyes

I have no eye-deer (say it fast)


What do you call a fish with no eyes??

Fsh

 

[TCFletch]

Why do nurses like red pens?
They like to draw blood!

 

[ironeagle2006]

Kinda of a long one. But actually a true story that happened to myself.

I was heading out to Stockton CA to make a delivery and was behind in my comic aka Log Book I mean WAY Behind in it try 2 days. I get to the Truckee Scale and I get the red light to pull into the barn for an Inspection. Officer looks at me and says if you can make me laugh I will not look at your logbook. I went Officer would you believe that I am totally legal in my logbook while I have somehow manged to run from Laramie WY to Des Monies IA in 6 Hours last week. He started to laugh his butt off and went if you can show me that in your book your free and clear. So I did he slapped 2 stickers on me and sent me on my way. He went how did your company not catch it I went I have NO clue. Then I told him we had just been Audited by the FMCSA he peed his pants and my logs where one that where looked at.

 

[cu455]

Kinda of a long one. But actually a true story that happened to myself.

I was heading out to Stockton CA to make a delivery and was behind in my comic aka Log Book I mean WAY Behind in it try 2 days. I get to the Truckee Scale and I get the red light to pull into the barn for an Inspection. Officer looks at me and says if you can make me laugh I will not look at your logbook. I went Officer would you believe that I am totally legal in my logbook while I have somehow manged to run from Laramie WY to Des Monies IA in 6 Hours last week. He started to laugh his butt off and went if you can show me that in your book your free and clear. So I did he slapped 2 stickers on me and sent me on my way. He went how did your company not catch it I went I have NO clue. Then I told him we had just been Audited by the FMCSA he peed his pants and my logs where one that where looked at.

Must be a joke only truck drivers will get.

 

[ironeagle2006]

Laramie WY is at the 310 MM on I-80 where I stopped for fuel. My next fuel stop was in Des Monies IA at the 126 just a little over 670 mile away. I was driving a 65 MPH truck. The math equals an average speed of 112 MPH for all the miles. Needless to say not getting the logbook ticket that day was a good thing.

 

[Liquidangel22]

Why cant Matthew McConaughey ever get anywhere in his Lincoln ?


Because he always goes "all right, all right, all right" :p

 

[Salt Creep]

Do they have to be clean?

 

[evolved]

Do they have to be clean?

https://www.reef2reef.com/help/terms
Of course...

 

[Salt Creep]

https://www.reef2reef.com/help/terms
Of course...

I figured so thought I'd ask... the other forum I'm on has a lounge section that is the only section that does not have to be PG... I'll be good :)

All those that believe in psychokinesis, raise my right hand

 

[Habib(Salifert)]

All those that believe in psychokinesis, raise my right hand[/QUOTE

I'm not sure if it will be you right or your left hand but it will be one of them.

Please let me know it. :)

 

[ironeagle2006]

Name the difference between a Fairy Tale and an OTR drivers story. A Fairy tale begins with Once Upon a Time. An OTR Driver goes You Aint going to believe this Crap. Edited for TOS.