Interesting post. Funny thing about hobbies and life in general is learning from people that have been there done that. Learning from their mistakes so you don't make them on your own. I don't take lightly that I'm bringing an ocean creature into my living room and your dang right if you think I'm not gonna do everything in my power to try and make it not only live but thrive. What I meant by I'm doing it 'by the book' is just a attempt to say that I've put my time in and studied to try and not be wreckless like I was in the past. Some of my greatest successes have come from my failures but I also am trying to see this as a challenging AND rewarding hobby thru the knowledge of willing, kind, helpful individuals. I find it funny that you would even be on an informative social forum and suggest that "I need to do this by myself".If you think that there is a book to do this by, then you are in for some really frustrating times.
You have to do this by yourself. You are the one responsible for your success or failure. Your goals are your own, set them accordingly.
Foxhole prayers might bring kind people to try to help but they won't be able to, no matter how much they want to.
I highly suggest that you re-think why you have chosen this hobby.