How to nicely tell someone to stop?

[Bunnyspit]

A kid reached out to me for help on his tank, if I had to guess hes probably 16 or 17. I'm not much older than him.. but he has no plans to upgrade and wants either a naso tang or a hippo tang in his 55 gal tank. He says the people at his LFS told him it would be fine because he only plans on having a naso or hippo and two midnight clowns and some anemones... anyone have any idea how I can nicely tell him that his LFS is stupid and he should probably find a new one?

 

[BestMomEver]

Might be better for you to contact the LFS manager and tell him what his folks are telling their customers they are giving out the wrong information.

 

[Jon Fishman]

I would tell him “The local fish store is stupid, and wants your money..... the fish will get stressed and die in a tank too small for them”


He’s 16/17, no need for the little kid gloves.

 

[Bunnyspit]

Might be better for you to contact the LFS manager and tell him what his folks are telling their customers they are giving out the wrong information.

If I'm being honest the LFS he goes to is known for stuff like that. If anyone lives in Arizona then they would probably immediately understand. The place is called Ocean Floor. It's a mess.

 

[Bunnyspit]

I would tell him “The local fish store is stupid, and wants your money..... the fish will get stressed and die in a tank too small for them”


He’s 16/17, no need for the little kid gloves.

But.. he does lol. I'm not really sure how to explain it but it's like he comes from a place that hes always right. He will keep searching for an answer that suits him more than understanding that hes wrong. He literally argued with me one time about Petco employees knowing what they're talking about. They sold him a condy nem and told him it wasnt a condy and that his 2mth old tank is the perfect time to put it in. Needless to say it killed his watchman goby and then died 2 days later.

 

[JayKim]

Sometimes the hard way is the best way.

 

[Bunnyspit]

Sometimes the hard way is the best way.

I really wish I could find the pictures of his tank.. I dont think any tang is a beginner fish.. and hes definitely a beginner. I wouldn't dream of having my tangs in a 55gal tank, I still feel like my 210 is too small for my tangs lol, and all I have is a kole eye and a juvenile powder blue

 

[BestMomEver]

Tell him that if he is not going to listen to your advice, continue to make mistakes that causes things to die, and continue to argue with you, then he needs to find someone else to help him. Politely say goodbye.

 

[JayKim]

Show him some pics of Ich or Velvet the tangs are prone to. Maybe that'll change his mind. Maybe he is planning on trading it in once it outgrows the tank?

 

[Bunnyspit]

Show him some pics of Ich or Velvet the tangs are prone to. Maybe that'll change his mind. Maybe he is planning on trading it in once it outgrows the tank?

Sigh.. he probably is planning on getting rid of it. Idk why but stuff like that bothers me a lot. I know a lot of people who do it so I don't ever say anything about it, but I just feel like once you have an animal you should keep it and give it a good home. To me its like getting a kitten in an apartment and selling it because it gets too big for your liking.

 

[Bunnyspit]

Doesnt @evolved live in Arizona? I wonder how he feels about Ocean Floor or if he's ever been there lol

 

[Sailingeric]

We all have no plans to upgrade and then day two we start thinking about the next bigger tank. I would tell him to "get his feet wet" with some smaller simpler fish to make sure he can keep up with the work of a salt water tank first.

 

[Bunnyspit]

We all have no plans to upgrade and then day two we start thinking about the next bigger tank. I would tell him to "get his feet wet" with some smaller simpler fish to make sure he can keep up with the work of a salt water tank first.

Hes had this tank for I think 3 months now. I can already tell you hes not cut out for the work it takes. I'll find the pics of his tank. In these months hes had it hes only ever had one water change. He has one of those petsmart HOB filters and like 10 or 15lbs of rock. I was going to sell him my old skimmer but he never came and got it lol

 

[Bunnyspit]

We all have no plans to upgrade and then day two we start thinking about the next bigger tank. I would tell him to "get his feet wet" with some smaller simpler fish to make sure he can keep up with the work of a salt water tank first.

Yeah this was his tank. He took a visit to my LFS and had them test his water. His ammonia & nitrates were through the roof. They told me his nitrates were the darkest they've ever seen in a tank.

 

[Hemmdog]

Doesnt @evolved live in Arizona? I wonder how he feels about Ocean Floor or if he's ever been there lol

I’ve been there. Lots of fw inventory, their sw stuff is pretty rough. They are pretty awful at advice too. If you know what you need dry good wise and are in a pinch it’s ok.

 

[Hermie]

sounds like my sister... telling her she needed a bigger tank than a 20g for about 6 cichlids

she took offense and said the guy she got them from said they would be fine

I'm like... they are cichlids... they live in a giant lake...
they get 6 inches...

It was frustrating. People hate to be wrong, they will defend themselves without being rational. Then they attack the person they are arguing against.

I think the root of the problem is that the person you are talking to doesn't actually respect your opinion.

Until they respect your opinion, you should just tell them to bugger off.

 

[bluprntguy]

Seems like this should do it (180 gallons recommended tank size):
https://www.liveaquaria.com/product/prod_display.cfm?c=15+2971+2767&pcatid=2767

 

[Bunnyspit]

I’ve been there. Lots of fw inventory, their sw stuff is pretty rough. They are pretty awful at advice too. If you know what you need dry good wise and are in a pinch it’s ok.

I remember my first time going there and seeing a full grown dog face puffer with its skin sloughing off.. so sad. The only thing I've ever bought from there was my tank because our 125 had a really bad leak and eventually split in the bottom and we had to get a new tank ASAP

 

[Jay Z]

Easy way would be to just recommend that it may not be a good idea from what you’ve read on the internet. But the choice is his.

 

[Bunnyspit]

Seems like this should do it (180 gallons recommended tank size):
https://www.liveaquaria.com/product/prod_display.cfm?c=15+2971+2767&pcatid=2767

Tried that. Even tried to make it sound light hearted when I told him they get a foot.