I need a new job

[TheEngineer]

I travel internationally for my job fairly frequently and it usually means I have to catch a plane on a Saturday to be there for a Monday morning meeting. My daughter goes to bed at 7PM every night and that means I only get to see her for about 45 minutes in the morning and an hour at night during the week. So weekends are my only chance to get some real time with her. That makes travelling on weekends hard enough as it is.

And now it is worse.... I told my daughter I have to go on another plane trip and her response..? "Oh no! I'm going to lose my daddy again! Why do I keep losing my daddy!?"

It's like a knife in the heart! I think I need a new job.

 

[Tahoe61]

My husband traveled frequently when our son was very young. That left me to do all the parenting.

Now when I look back I realize it's extremely important to have both parents participating daily in the child formative years.

You only get one chance at this. Sorry probably not the answer you wanted but it was the reality for me and my son.

It's more important to live with less and be around more IMO.

 

[drstratton]

Time with our children is so precious and so short! I truly hope that you can find something different, that will support your family and allow you to be at home more. I was a stay at home mom and I still don't feel that I spent enough time with them.

 

[bobbyM]

Try only getting to see her every other Sunday..

I feel your pain.

 

[matt_97055]

I feel your pain! I use to build, upgrade, repair cell phone towers. I could be gone two - three weeks at a shot! I am glad I have a government job now so I home all the time. But I only get to see my kids every other week now that I am divorced.

 

[bairdimusprime]

totally understand, i work for a construction inspection firm inspecting concrete, soils, asphalt, precast plants, ect... i would end up working various shifts day through night or inspecting plants in other states for weeks on end being holed up in a hotel... i missed plenty of time and an offer to work in my companies office came up (10 minutes from my home) i jumped on it... now i'm with my kids more often than not but lost all overtime hours so our budgets are tight... basically IMO i'd rather have just enough and be able to see my family than have more than enough and not see them grow. i feel your pain and wish you the best in your journey

 

[TheEngineer]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts everyone. I've got a new venture I'm starting up that should hopefully let me travel less. For now this job has allowed my wife to finish school and now she's in a career she loves. We had to move quite a bit for her school and internships and having a job with lots of travel meant lots of flexibility. It is a tough place to be in now since I've gotten myself on a pretty great career path. That said, my father traveled an obnoxious amount when I was growing up and now I have no relationship with him. I'd like not to repeat that history.

 

[dewboy1127]

I would love a new job the company i work for is lets just say a small business and small business do lil as possible for its employees most of time and especially where im at...however this thread makes me appreciate time i have with my daughter everyday and in april will be with my two daughters : )

 

[Harry_Y]

When I was in the Navy, I spent 9 month gone out of my 1st year married.
then about another 9 months when my son was about a year old.

That's when I pretty much decided it was time to change.

 

[twilliard]

My husband traveled frequently when our son was very young. That left me to do all the parenting.

Now when I look back I realize it's extremely important to have both parents participating daily in the child formative years.

You only get one chance at this. Sorry probably not the answer you wanted but it was the reality for me and my son.

It's more important to live with less and be around more IMO.

I agree with this 100%
I was a traveler state to state job to job (industrial electrician)
I lost about 5 years with my family.
What I would here when my wife called me every night "when is daddy coming home" mom would say "not for another 9 weeks".
I put my work in front of my family.
Cost me my marriage

 

[TheEngineer]

Thankfully my trips don't extend beyond a week at a stretch and those long trips I can usually push to once a month. Typically I bust my rear to get in and out for these meetings and limit trips to 4 days away from home as much as possible.

 

[ironeagle2006]

Try being the kids of an OTR driver. My dad when I was growing up was gone on average for 4-5 weeks at a time and home for 3 days before he had to do it all again. Yet every summer as soon as school let out every one of us got to go on a trip with him for 3 weeks with him. We all knew why he did what he did to feed and keep a roof over our heads. Heck 2 of the 3 of us followed him into the OTR world my middle brother and I. My best year I will admit was his last year he drove why him and I team drove. Lets just say we had more fun on the rare days we had some time to kill on a run then when we got home it was still our time apart for the 1st day and then family time. Hell him and I still hold 3 records at that carrier that 19 years later have YET to be broken. They are fastest load out to CA we ran from Chicago to Northern CA in less than 34 hours. We set a record with the most miles in a month over 40K turned in for pay. We also set a record for Fastest load ever from Wyoming to Ontario CA less than 22 Hours elapsed time. How we did some of those runs well it helped for a month the computer on the truck blew out and had to be replaced and we had no Speed Limiter meaning we could run the speed limits. Meaning if the Speed limit was 75 well that rig was screaming at 75 and the engine was set at her Factory HP setting of 500 not cut back. My father and I used to laugh at what we did at that carrier and go How did we avoid getting fired. I basically said we where making the boss to much money for him to care.

 

[saltyfilmfolks]

Same boat here. Dad was in the same field I am. (film production). Always gone. Blew up my first marriage too.
It cost me then like it does now but I'm shoring it up before the life tank crashes again.
Im trying to figure out what to do as we speak. No clue currently.
Its important to remember its not our fault. We need to make a living and we have a weird drive/obsession/path in our careers that takes us on the voyage.
Small choices became big mistakes, but how were we to know that. Like reefing, who knew the xenia would take over the tank. Who's got that kind of foresight. And as a young man with the drive to feed his family and a successful career. How were we to know? Some dang great adventures,good and bad, that made me(us) who we are right now. If I regret it, do I regret who I am now? Im kind of an ok guy. Better than when I was 25 (minus the great abs). I just want something different now. And now I have a different skill set as well as priorities.
Make sure your family knows this. Dont bow to "PC Pressure" and guilt. its life. its normal. If we lived a hundred years ago we'd be gone for years at a time. Or like my friend on the tom cruiz movie a year in berlin.
I just need a new job.
and a skimmer:D.

PS
I know how to stop xenia from taking over the tank now. So that ain't that bad.

 

[aslmx]

Hate my job
Don't make a ton of money
With my wife and kids every night
At every ball game
God has blessed me this way
Have had more opportunities to double the money but not worth it. Money's not everything.

 

[kendavjac]

Been there done that. Missed every holiday except thanksgiving the first year I was married. I mean everyone including birthdays, Halloween, 4th of July, Christmas, st Patricks days. Everyone. Except for that, I loved working on the ship. My most favorite job I ever had. Got out of the USCG and went back to school. Had a kid and got a new job. Spent months out of the country. Had another couple of kids. Left that job and now I have a job I only have to travel every 6 weeks or so, hate the job. there is no way I will go back to my old jobs. I would rather dislike what I do monday through Friday, but spend most weekends home with the family.

 

[Breakthecycle2]

What do you do?

 

[TheEngineer]

What do you do?

Me? I run an international R&D organization.

 

[Breakthecycle2]

Me? I run an international R&D organization.

My wife's company is always hiring and there is traveling, but maybe once a month to once every two months.

 

[TheEngineer]

My wife's company is always hiring and there is traveling, but maybe once a month to once every two months.

I don't think the wife would be up to moving back to NJ again :) Thanks for the thought though!

 

[Breakthecycle2]

No, they are all over. I should have said, the company she works for, not "her" company. She works for Adobe. The perks, pay and benefits are second to none.