not dating advice... but...

[DannyB]

That's what she said she was doing this weekend but she said she is free next weekend so I'm taking that with a grain of salt right now since she may have just been being nice but I'll ask again on Monday or later in the week so it's not planned a week prior to it happening

Right. That is what i was saying about work as an excuse, since that is a valid reason to not be able to go out. I think when she said she was available the next weekend she was telling you to ask her out for that time.

 

[Howard1234a]

All you have to do is show her pictures of your tank and she'll be putty in your hands. Chicks love tanks!

Seriously. Listen to Pete. He gets chicks; and he has polyps.

 

[paraletho]

I know its not any consolation but were all in the same boat. I'm 63 and it doesn't get any easier. Just be yourself and go for it.

 

[Jenaleigh1]

I'm a girl. Just let it be for a while. Get to know her. Let her get comfortable around you, so she can see you actually like HER and you aren't just trying to make a disproportionate ratio work for you. If you had 30 girls to choose from, would she be your first choice? If not, don't mess with her and wait on what you want. Just let her get comfortable with you and don't rush it.

 

[Humblefish]

I would just ask her out. She will either say yes or no, and either way you will know where you stand with her. Just make sure you have some thick skin if the answer is no. I learned a long time ago that chicks are pretty much in control of every situation when it comes to dating & whatnot. They pick their mates. That's a little primal I know; but it's basically how it works with humans. None of us are beautiful male red Cardinals. ;)

 

[Pete polyp]

Or male wrasses ;)

I would just ask her out. She will either say yes or no, and either way you will know where you stand with her. Just make sure you have some thick skin if the answer is no. I learned a long time ago that chicks are pretty much in control of every situation when it comes to dating & whatnot. They pick their mates. That's a little primal I know; but it's basically how it works with humans. None of us are beautiful male red Cardinals. ;)

 

[Humblefish]

Or male wrasses ;)

Very true!

 

[garra671]

Right now I'm trying to think if I should try and get her number first or ask her out first. If I ask her out it would more than likely be for the weekend and it would be kind of weird to sit next to her with plans for something that is still gonna be 5 days away...

 

[Derek121]

Definately tell her all about you asking for advice on a fish forum. That seems to always work out really well in the end

 

[evolved]

I think when she said she was available the next weekend she was telling you to ask her out for that time.

Absolutely; that was a green light for such. If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have left the door open by telling you that info.

 

[hinovak]

Ask her on weds.

 

[hinovak]

And ask her out on weds. If she says yes, then get her number.

 

[saltyfilmfolks]

ugh. just ask her. now. dinner. coffee. sit on the steps and talk. tonight. now. the long date travel is cool to. but spend time with her.
theres a long list of women I should have asked out.

Great. nerds giving nerds advice.

 

[Humblefish]

We old married farts shall live vicariously thru you. :) But at least you know we got one chick to say yes when we asked her out, so our advice can't be all bad. ;)

 

[Liquidangel22]

This is so great...I'm just gonna sit back here in my girl corner with Jenaleigh1 and grab a cup of coffee whilst I read fish dating analogies. Meanwhile the ONE girl who responded to this was COMPLETELY ignored several comments ago. Irony in that he started this with being "pretty oblivious to hints from girls" or outright advice from them too apparently. :rolleyes::p:D:cool:

 

[4FordFamily]

Fortunately and unfortunately I have allot of dating experience. I would say go for it, stop beating around the bush and directly ask her out. If she makes up some excuse, act like you don't care in the slightest, and seem like you have moved on. If she has some interest in you, she will eventually cave and come back around. If not, you lost nothing by giving it a shot, and at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing it is not going to work, and you can move on to other things...the longer you stay in the friend zone, the more difficult it becomes to get out, you will always be her if everything else fails in my life, he will be there for me...the problem is, she knows you will be waiting on her, so you are no longer mysterious and something she wants...so most likely never let her gaurd down for you...we all want what we can't have, and we care nothing about what we already have. Think about it in collecting corals, we all want that new piece with the cool name. Go for it early on, if she does not bite, save yourself the pain and anguish, and move on to someone that does care about you. Hope this helps.

X10.

I will also add that the worst thing you can do with regards to women is to try so hard. Everything you're describing communicates to me that you're trying too hard. I don't mean to offend you, but some of that stuff just seems creepy.

This may come off mean but I don't mean it that way - but if you don't put her on a pedastol and you are nice but also pick on her as you would anyone else, BE YOURSELF, and stop trying so hard to be intentional about borderline creepy stuff you'll have far better chances. Don't be the "jerk" but also recognize that the "good guys never get the girl". Sorry but it's true. Pick on them and joke around but be sensitive when you need to be and a shoulder to lean on on occasion. No one likes a real you know what hole.

If you seem like you are moderately interested but not worried about it you will have far better luck. Humans like scarcity. If you're desperate (and believe me when I tell you people notice), they feel it and it's off putting. Even in phone sales I used to tell my teams that if they treat that call like that customer is lucky to be talking to them, like a human being you don't need anything from, and just use your own personality - you'll be successful. Here, you're essentially selling yourself.

There are plenty of other women and it sounds like one of the biggest issues you may struggle with is the fear of rejection. We have all had it but those that can move past it and remind themselves that there's always another swing of the bat and welcome that potentially uncomfortable situation that have the most success in nearly every facet of life.

It sounds like you are young, so the good news is that you have plenty of time to figure this out and implement it. What worked for me was repeated "pep talks" repeating that "I don't care" and "what's the worst that can happen, I'll be fine, whatever" that eventually moved my psyche. Simultaneously I found confidence in myself and realized that I am awesome. This is the type of mental acrobatics you need until you internalize them and believe it. Truth is you are an awesome person in one way or another. Figure it out, channel it, appreciate it, and sport it.

I've been pretty low at some points in my life and people would probably not believe me if I told them where I have been. I'm not special, either. I just trained myself to be self aware and confident in myself - always putting myself in to uncomfortable situations because that is where you learn about who you truly are and what you're capable of. It's amazing what you discover about yourself when you leave your comfort zone.

 

[p.pep85]

it took me a year to ask out my wife. i almost lost her to another guy i didnt find out till we were hitched that she wanted me to ask her out the 2nd time we meet. long story short just ask her!

 

[garra671]

X10.

I will also add that the worst thing you can do with regards to women is to try so hard. Everything you're describing communicates to me that you're trying too hard. I don't mean to offend you, but some of that stuff just seems creepy.

This may come off mean but I don't mean it that way - but if you don't put her on a pedastol and you are nice but also pick on her as you would anyone else, BE YOURSELF, and stop trying so hard to be intentional about borderline creepy stuff you'll have far better chances. Don't be the "jerk" but also recognize that the "good guys never get the girl". Sorry but it's true. Pick on them and joke around but be sensitive when you need to be and a shoulder to lean on on occasion. No one likes a real you know what hole.

If you seem like you are moderately interested but not worried about it you will have far better luck. Humans like scarcity. If you're desperate (and believe me when I tell you people notice), they feel it and it's off putting. Even in phone sales I used to tell my teams that if they treat that call like that customer is lucky to be talking to them, like a human being you don't need anything from, and just use your own personality - you'll be successful. Here, you're essentially selling yourself.

There are plenty of other women and it sounds like one of the biggest issues you may struggle with is the fear of rejection. We have all had it but those that can move past it and remind themselves that there's always another swing of the bat and welcome that potentially uncomfortable situation that have the most success in nearly every facet of life.

It sounds like you are young, so the good news is that you have plenty of time to figure this out and implement it. What worked for me was repeated "pep talks" repeating that "I don't care" and "what's the worst that can happen, I'll be fine, whatever" that eventually moved my psyche. Simultaneously I found confidence in myself and realized that I am awesome. This is the type of mental acrobatics you need until you internalize them and believe it. Truth is you are an awesome person in one way or another. Figure it out, channel it, appreciate it, and sport it.

I've been pretty low at some points in my life and people would probably not believe me if I told them where I have been. I'm not special, either. I just trained myself to be self aware and confident in myself - always putting myself in to uncomfortable situations because that is where you learn about who you truly are and what you're capable of. It's amazing what you discover about yourself when you leave your comfort zone.

being creepy well not creepy but awkward is just who i am... if she was the type that i thought would get offended or creeped out about something i would normally do then i wouldnt have done it. but we were playing around (im assuming you were referring to the metal part during our lab work) none the less today i got her number, so we'll see where that goes.

 

[garra671]

This is so great...I'm just gonna sit back here in my girl corner with Jenaleigh1 and grab a cup of coffee whilst I read fish dating analogies. Meanwhile the ONE girl who responded to this was COMPLETELY ignored several comments ago. Irony in that he started this with being "pretty oblivious to hints from girls" or outright advice from them too apparently. :rolleyes::p:D:cool:

well give me your advice then, im not scared about being rejected; **** happens. But the one thing i really struggle with is timing and how to ask someone out or for their number. like today for instance i got her number, but the whole time i was talking to her i was thinking in the back of my head when the perfect moment would be to ask her for her number.

 

[Liquidangel22]

It doesn't sound like you're going to be rejected at all, you're just going to overthink yourself out of the running. When she says "I'm not free this weekend but I am next weekend" that translates to "Ask me out, I'm giving you my schedule for a reason". You got her number, don't think it to death, run with it. She's obviously interested, but that can change pretty quick if you're tripping over your brain so much. Highly intelligent girls (like one of 3 in an engineering program) love eye contact, smiling, open body language (aka don't cross your arms, use hand gestures), and compliments on things that have nothing to do with aesthetics. Yeah we like being told we're pretty just like any other girl, but if you recognize we're smart and treat us like we're on your level, bam, you're in.

Good luck and thank you for asking the advice of a girl ;):p