not dating advice... but...

[ngvu1]

I love the way you put it. It reminds me of how I was back then dating....I was shy, very shy. And here is what I say, when you ask her out and she says no? Try again patient like a reefer. And if it does not work out and she keeps saying no, it's ok. There is one for everyone! She just might or might not be the one for you. Good luck and keep us updated.

so, ive had girlfriends and such but ive never been particularly good at catching hints... or noticing how a girl feels or when she drops hints etc etc etc.... so heres the background, Im in college for aircraft mechanics; its a fairly small school (literally only 3 girls in the entire school of about 60 students) first day of class i sat down in a random seat, 2nd day of class same deal, third day of class i sat in front of her and then just spontanously moved next to her whilst there were multiple open seats still available, she didnt say anything but that was about 3 weeks ago... since then we've both continously sat next to one another as well she now sits with me in our other class as well, and talk regularly in class (ive yet to ask her for her number).. anyways, ive been slowly (im shy) getting closer and closer just kind of testing the waters, (letting her play a game on my phone and helping her through it by pressing the buttons for her while she holds it... doing lab work with one another (physically doing stuff together having to touch hands and such...) so i asked her to go with me somewhere over the weekend (a motorcycle meet-up we both ride) and she said she was busy with work but next week she'll be free and then every weekend after that she will be busy with work (shes changing jobs). as well she seems kind of... playful.. when we were both leaving class she tried to race me when i had my car and she had her bike.

i just wanted to put all of that info out there, and see if maybe anyone has some pointers and such for me. If we didn't have class together i would of asked her out directly by now, but i just dont want to make things weird if she ends up saying no.

 

[MrDJeep123]

This is so great...I'm just gonna sit back here in my girl corner with Jenaleigh1 and grab a cup of coffee whilst I read fish dating analogies. Meanwhile the ONE girl who responded to this was COMPLETELY ignored several comments ago. Irony in that he started this with being "pretty oblivious to hints from girls" or outright advice from them too apparently. :rolleyes::p:D:cool:

I'll sit in the corner with. This was my reply on the first page.

So you've known her a month thereabouts? I'd say get to know her better. Let the excitement and feelings of admiration build. No need to aggressively pursue her. From what I've seen of things lately, and this just a general observation, but dating seems to be a lost art.

Good luck with your pursuits and enjoy the time you spend with her regardless of what happens.

*Insert long sigh here* You're being too nervous. You're being overly analytical. You're pushing way too hard. And if you already come across desperate here then you'll be dripping with it there.

 

[Wesley42079]

Why do you want to waste your time and money on a female? You're only 22 years old. Go out and "raw dog some randoms." Just kidding.

 

[TaylorPilot]

LOL. He held out and got to get with Alice Eve.

I was gonna say earlier that we couldn't give good advise until we saw what she looks like. But I refrained....LOL

 

[TaylorPilot]

22 young?! By then my grandfather had stormed the beaches of Normandy, defeated the *****, gotten 3 boats shot out from under him, gotten married and had kids.

 

[hinovak]

Congrats!!!!!! You got the digits big pimpin!!! Be your self and have fun with it.

 

[MrDJeep123]

22 young?! By then my grandfather had stormed the beaches of Normandy, defeated the *****, gotten 3 boats shot out from under him, gotten married and had kids.

I'm tired. I read that as "gotten 3 goats shot out from under him." I was like...w tf? :confused:

 

[hinovak]

Ok, this is something very important. Find restraint, and try not to text her every single day, or too much. Let her start off some days starting the conversation through the phone. Women have a sixth sense of desperation...let her do a little bit of the pursuing.

 

[Humblefish]

If only she could see this thread...

It would be over before it ever began. ;)

 

[TaylorPilot]

It would be over before it ever began. ;)

Not if she was a stage 5 clinger. She would think. "Aww, he likes me so much he is asking his friends about me!!!" LOL

 

[bklynreef123]

I agree with everyone else who said DONT GET INTO THE FRIEND ZONE!!!!!! I would suggest trying to find something going on thats interesting for both of you. You are both in school for Aircraft Mechanics, maybe you can find something that pertains to that. Maybe she has or will drop some hints as to things she is interested in. Even if you cant find that perfect activity just yet, I would have some sort of proposition for her if she says she is free. Women like a man who will take chances, show initiative, and is not boring... just my .02 Good Luck, and dont worry the worst thing that can happen is she says no. If and when that happens just move on there are plenty of women out there.

 

[4FordFamily]

Women like confidence. Find yourself and let them come to you instead. ;)

X300

 

[Humblefish]

Women like confidence. Find yourself and let them come to you instead. ;)

^This. Just be sure you can back that confidence up with meaningful action. In the words of Han Solo, "women always find out the truth". ;)

 

[4FordFamily]

Dude my two cents - back off. act like its no big deal that she backed out. If it were me back in college, a comment like "right on I had a few buddies text me earlier that want to get a few drinks (or whatever is "cool") anyway that day. At some point we will both have free time again probably" -- immediate subject change like its not a big deal at all

Attractive women are constantly bombarded by being asked out - you don't want to be just another guy. Acting like you don't care and it's not a big deal is how you set yourself apart. Nerve racking for guys like you to do but have the mentality that they're lucky to talk and spend time with you and your need to create threads like this and embarrass yourself will diminish. I know that sounds harsh, I feel for you I really do but you seem desperate buddy. Act busy. Act like you have other important things going on. Keep cool with her in class and joke around but give her some time to wonder why you're not pursuing too hard and why you're different than everyone else that tries the same desperate tactics.

The only other successful method I've seen used (but it requires a much more confident persona) is the "find a way to incorporate and joke about going out with me every day" strategy.

"Hey, I see that you are out of paper. If we go out to dinner Saturday night I guess I'll buy your some paper." Or
"Yeah that (story) is completely BS. That's awesome what you did. Nowhere near as awesome as Saturday night with me though I must tell you". Just keep laughing don't expect a response just move on and then they accept after awhile more often than you would believe.

That type of stuff. Some of my buddies in high school and college pulled that off beautifully. Now, that's my temperament to a T as I overcame my mental obstacles, got my loge together, and figured out who I was (deep but long story I'll spare you there). Back then I couldn't execute that effectively and based on this thread I seriously doubt you could, either. It's designed for frequent rejection but women do like humor, confidence, and to some degree- persistence (as do all people not just most women)

Women aren't stupid they are human beings and understanding psychology is a necessity to "successful" interpersonal relationships. No one wants a man who appears destitute, lacks confidence, and wants to move their entire life for them. Scarcity (or the illusion of with regards to your time and affection) at a healthy dose is powerful. With anyone or anything.

 

[garra671]

im backing off as many of you have told me. Not texting her, letting her text me first; although i do feel if i dont text her she may think im not interested. Women dont tend to be the forward ones... when it comes to stuff like this. either way just keeping this thread up to date incase people are still interested in it.

 

[hinovak]

She will not think you are not interested, she will wonder why you have not texted her, and making her wonder about you, makes you more appealing. Trust me on this, I have screwed up more times than I would like to admit in the beginning. And she obviously knows your interested, otherwise you would have never gotten her number. What we want her to think, is that you are not too concerned with her turning you down, because you are talking to other women and have other options. Then you become appealing to her. Let her make the next move, and meanwhile act the exact same as you have been act to her in class, almost as if nothing changed. She will hint to you when she wants you to take her out.

 

[aaron23]

listen i used to be a dating coach, you know her through school - you had 2 ways to approach this.

1. slowly get her to invest in you by becoming friends and then slowly making it into a relationship
2. not be a wuss and just ask her to coffee or food

its simple shes a human being stop thinking that she owns you and that she's some celebrity.

 

[Humblefish]

its simple shes a human being stop thinking that she owns you and that she's some celebrity.

^^Awesome advice. :) Don't create a monster here that you could potentially have to live with for the rest of your life. This advice also applies to raising children, especially daddies who treat their daughters like some sort of fairy tale princess. That usually backfires on more than just the parents. ;)

 

[garra671]

listen i used to be a dating coach, you know her through school - you had 2 ways to approach this.

1. slowly get her to invest in you by becoming friends and then slowly making it into a relationship
2. not be a wuss and just ask her to coffee or food

its simple shes a human being stop thinking that she owns you and that she's some celebrity.

Trust me I in no way think she owns me. I've just always been terrible at reading hints. And I don't want to make her think I'm uninterested or come off too strong. Yesterday she asked me if I worked and I said "no today is my day off". She replied with "lucky you I'm going to check with my boss if I can get Tuesday's off because these meeting happen on Tuesdays". (School has scholarship meetings every 2 months or something like that) so I don't know. That could of been a hint just conversation I don't know. I'm just keeping my distance for now.

 

[aaron23]

haha you're thinking into every little thing and it will drive your emotions BONKERS. ask her out to a snack or a cup of coffee so you can stop dancing around and tip toeing. I picture you peeling pedals and saying does she love me or does she not :rolleyes: