not dating advice... but...

Oceansize · Mar 2, 2016

Women are primates too, so don't overthink it. Overthinking it is what will scare her away. If there's an interest on her part, you'll be forgiven for clumsy missteps. Looking back, if I have any regrets, it's that I didn't move on fast enough when things weren't clicking, even though the writing was all over the wall.

Remember that book a few years ago that was an epiphany for women called "He's Just Not That Into You"? It's excellent advice for men too. The gyst of it is, if she's into you, she won't be making excuses to dodge you. Rather, if anything she'll be making excuses to those other commitments in order to be with you! If she keeps finding ways of avoiding that motorcycle ride, you'll have your answer.

Just go for it, and if she likes you, it won't really matter how clumsy you are about it. If she doesn't bite, then she wasn't actually that interested all this time, and so move on without wasting any more time.

Never wait. Waiting doesn't increase your chance of success with that person but it does decrease your chance with the next. It's just a date, you're not asking her to be your girlfriend. If she demurs, remind her of that. If she still demurs, you're not getting the hint.

Break a leg!

P.S. FWIW, on my first date with the woman who would eventually become my wife, we had met online and so while I had seen her picture, this was our first actual face-to-face. She had just become the victim of an allergy attack, and showed up covering her face from the nose down with a tissue, and was really embarrassed having to remove it to have a conversation. Her face was red, her nostrils would occasionally drip, she was constantly sniffling, but it didn't matter because I was already into her. And in fact, her bravery in showing up regardless, instead of making excuses, scored major points in my book.

aaron23 · Mar 2, 2016

i agree with that, its either she'll give you a chance or not. unless you work the relationship through friendship first. Oceansize has the right idea. If she likes you, you can get away with a ton more things

millertyler22 · Mar 2, 2016

If u met her in class and she still sits nxt to u and still chats with u just ask her out for lunch or coffee after class. Like many people said the worst that will happen is she says no

KingTriton · Mar 2, 2016

The more advice you adhere to on this thread the farther it will push you back. Be yourself and stop playing all these silly games. I have not met anybody that wasn't able to see through them. Shut your mind off and be yourself. The more you try and alter yourself the more anxious and nervous you will become as you will not be in a natural state. Nothing is more unattractive than someone who tries to be what others expect or want them to be.

When I say confident I don't mean less nervous as this is something you don't have any control over. I mean recognize that its your own natural form and to be accepting of it. If you get nervous and it shows I can assure you it will have zero effect on whether she says yes or not. If your nervous about what other people think then you are giving too much value into their thoughts rather than your own. PS... take a look around people are nothing specially. I know limited people who are actually in their raw form.

MOPAR · Mar 2, 2016

My goodness this thread is interesting. Some of the comments seem like advise i got in highschool haha. You are trippin way to hard. Calm down and breath do what you want and if it dosent workout then that's that.

garra671 · Mar 2, 2016

aaron23 said:
haha you're thinking into every little thing and it will drive your emotions BONKERS. ask her out to a snack or a cup of coffee so you can stop dancing around and tip toeing. I picture you peeling pedals and saying does she love me or does she not :rolleyes:

Nah I'm not quite that bad lol. But I do tend to read into things more than I should. Do you think I should just ask now or hold off a bit and ask in a bit?

garra671 · Mar 2, 2016

KingTriton said:
The more advice you adhere to on this thread the farther it will push you back. Be yourself and stop playing all these silly games. I have not met anybody that wasn't able to see through them. Shut your mind off and be yourself. The more you try and alter yourself the more anxious and nervous you will become as you will not be in a natural state. Nothing is more unattractive than someone who tries to be what others expect or want them to be.

When I say confident I don't mean less nervous as this is something you don't have any control over. I mean recognize that its your own natural form and to be accepting of it. If you get nervous and it shows I can assure you it will have zero effect on whether she says yes or not. If your nervous about what other people think then you are giving too much value into their thoughts rather than your own. PS... take a look around people are nothing specially. I know limited people who are actually in their raw form.

I used to do this. Through text I would say something along the lines of how I'm shy or nervous or something like that and kind of explain myself as to why I was asking them out through text rather than in person but I just feel if I do it through text that may be against me.

nitrodude · Mar 2, 2016

I would nuke this thread from existance before she finds it and thinks your nuts!

Humblefish · Mar 2, 2016

nitrodude said:
I would nuke this thread from existance before she finds it and thinks your nuts!

:p

garra671 · Mar 2, 2016

Alright one last thing. The only thing I'm nervous about is that if I directly just say " hey you wanna go to a movie or blah blah blah with me sometime when we're both free" it will make things awkward if she's not into it. Also the class ends at 9:30 at night so it makes things a big difficult.

4FordFamily · Mar 2, 2016

garra671 said:
Alright one last thing. The only thing I'm nervous about is that if I directly just say " hey you wanna go to a movie or blah blah blah with me sometime when we're both free" it will make things awkward if she's not into it. Also the class ends at 9:30 at night so it makes things a big difficult.

Stop caring if that happens just pretend it never happened and act like yourself that makes you more interesting.

As I said before you need to find confidence and learn to love yourself. Once you truly believe that they are lucky to have you interested, things will fall in line.

Want to see something funny?

This was my wife and I in college a decade ago. Notice anything?

I was just myself and I loved who I was. So much so that later on I invested in my health and I went from 308 to 185. She was with me through it all.

Humblefish · Mar 2, 2016

You did well for yourself, Ford! Below is a pic of me and my wife on our wedding day (10 years ago).

4FordFamily · Mar 2, 2016

Humblefish said:
You did well for yourself, Ford! Below is a pic of me and my wife on our wedding day (10 years ago).

You did well too my friend!

Speaking of weddings, and my username, and my wife... You might get a kick out of these.. (4 years ago)

My eyes are sensitive so I'm always squinting outside but...

garra671 · Mar 3, 2016

okay not dating advice this time lol, just hinting advice. i know this thread is probably starting to die off here just because its going to end up becoming repetative but for instance in class tonight.... i was talking to her about how my arm still hurt (i hit it like 2 days ago on the teachers podium) and she said "haha god, it would be hilarious if it like killed you because of some rare disease" and then we started talking about House M.D. and it went from there (she's a bit tomboyish)

bklynreef123 · Mar 3, 2016

Should have told her to kiss it and make it feel better. In all honesty man up and ask her out instead of creeping on here about it. This has turned into a pathetic thread. I'm out

clownfish chris · Mar 3, 2016

Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity.

aaron23 · Mar 3, 2016

Say, have you heard about blah blah place?? Well I haven't been there yet but I hear there's blah blah I'd like to try, (here's the catcher) but if you're too busy it's cool I understand. (Smile don't Act depressed Bc she can say no)

You'll save your cajones in the event she turns you down and at the same time this asking her out means it'll just be a good time nothing more nothing less. That's what you want to convey

And I don't believe this be yourself and all will be gravy lol.... Unless you're born with the skills to be suave and know what you want, getting dates or whatever it is you want takes practice just like anything else

garra671 · Mar 3, 2016

aaron23 said:
Say, have you heard about blah blah place?? Well I haven't been there yet but I hear there's blah blah I'd like to try, (here's the catcher) but if you're too busy it's cool I understand. (Smile don't Act depressed Bc she can say no)

You'll save your cajones in the event she turns you down and at the same time this asking her out means it'll just be a good time nothing more nothing less. That's what you want to convey

And I don't believe this be yourself and all will be gravy lol.... Unless you're born with the skills to be suave and know what you want, getting dates or whatever it is you want takes practice just like anything else

Honestly at this point I just want to ask her out and see where I stand. I'm going to hold out a few more days till I know she is free and then I'll ask her at the end of class "hey I'm going to do blah blah blah, wanna keep me company?" And see what happens

TaylorPilot · Mar 3, 2016

That's how i talk to my male friends. Ask her OUT. LOL If we're all putting up pictures of our wives I'll play. My boss is the one in red. She was my sister's friend in highschool. Took me 10 years, but I snagged her eventually.