perception and approach

Wiz · Nov 12, 2015

I joined reef2reef after reading through a bunch of threads and seeing apposing view points with little to no arguments or rudeness. For the fitst stretch I was very happy with this forum. I am a critical thinker who questions models and attacks problems with logic not with accepted practice. Although that does play a role. I often find myself at odds with others opinions. But I am always looking to further my knowledge and am always considering others viewpoints in order to come to the appropriate conclusions. I try to be as curtious and considerate as I can of others. Lately I've been involved In multiple conversations where it got offensive. I've been called names and mocked and I've seen some very nice members attacked as well. I just wanted to appeal to the community. PLEASE be considerate. PLEASE avoid namecalling or acting superior. It creates a much more friendly and inviting enviornment if we are mindful of others feelings. I was even accused of being inconsiderate and enjoying someone being attacked. I disagree with the assesment. But as I'm asking you all to reexamine your approach to accomidate others, so shall I. I will try to be more careful about which posts I like and how I talk to people and I hope you will to. I really enjoy the hobby and reef2reef has been a huge part of that. Lets keep it that way. Thx for reading.

Tahoe61 · Nov 12, 2015

Boy, I have always found your post to be pleasant and informative, helpful. Sorry you've had that experience, I must have missed it.

Unfortunately written text sometimes comes across as critical or insulting, when humor and sarcasm were intended. This failure to communicate attracts individual who like drama any way they can get it. Anonymity offered from the net contributes. I really really try to treat someone as I would treat them if they were standing in front of me.

When someone attempts to engage me in a negative manner, I remember what a forum owner once told me "do not get down in the mud with them". Not addressing the drama can be extremely difficult. After years of practice I am now able to just walk away.

bayoupr · Nov 12, 2015

Wiz said:
I joined reef2reef after reading through a bunch of threads and seeing apposing view points with little to no arguments or rudeness. For the fitst stretch I was very happy with this forum. I am a critical thinker who questions models and attacks problems with logic not with accepted practice. Although that does play a role. I often find myself at odds with others opinions. But I am always looking to further my knowledge and am always considering others viewpoints in order to come to the appropriate conclusions. I try to be as curtious and considerate as I can of others. Lately I've been involved In multiple conversations where it got offensive. I've been called names and mocked and I've seen some very nice members attacked as well. I just wanted to appeal to the community. PLEASE be considerate. PLEASE avoid namecalling or acting superior. It creates a much more friendly and inviting enviornment if we are mindful of others feelings. I was even accused of being inconsiderate and enjoying someone being attacked. I disagree with the assesment. But as I'm asking you all to reexamine your approach to accomidate others, so shall I. I will try to be more careful about which posts I like and how I talk to people and I hope you will to. I really enjoy the hobby and reef2reef has been a huge part of that. Lets keep it that way. Thx for reading.

I know the feeling, this is why I don't involve myself with RC too much anymore. Some real snobby people over there that think it's their way or nothing and can get very rude when you don't agree with them. This is why I moved more to R2R, a lot nicer board with more friendly people, IMO.

Wiz · Nov 12, 2015

I'm trying really hard. Thanks for the compliment. :-) it really upsets me when people think I'm rude. Like you I try to have a do onto others attitude. And when I come accross people who are not so nice, it really bothers me. Unfortunately it seems the harder you try with these people the worse it gets. One post I made that was quoted back to me could have been more delicate. So I am not perfect. Which is why I posted this. Even the best of intentions can go wrong. We all should keep that in mind. :-) I really love my reef. And this forum

Daniel@R2R · Nov 12, 2015

At R2R, we pride ourselves on being a friendly forum where people treat others as they would want to be treated.

We actually have this as part of our site terms and rules:

Be Courteous:

We aim to ensure that the forum is an enjoyable place that you want to visit time and time again. Our underlying philosophy is that the strength of the member relationships we build here is what sets us apart from the other boards - we are friendlier, more civil, more insightful, more mature and more fun.

* R2R encourages the beneficial exchange of information, ideas, and opinions and we expect members to do so respectfully and thoughtfully. Personal attacks on others will not be tolerated.

* Do not post unsubstantiated gossip, libelous remarks or directly misleading information.

* Trolling or cyber-bullying are NOT allowed and are grounds for account restriction or banishment. Harassment, stalking or predatory behavior will result in account suspension.

* We take the "be nice" rule VERY seriously! We do not tolerate ANY rudeness.

As a part of the mod team, I can say we are truly doing our best to help ensure this is the general tone of the forum, but I also know we don't always see everything. If you see posts that violate this standard, please don't hesitate to use the "report" link found at the bottom of the post to notify us of a problem.

I can honestly say that I like disagreement in discussion because I think that's how we grow, but disagreements should be focused on the issues and should be discussed reasonably and with respect for one another. After all, disagreements are a big part of how the hobby advances...but a disagreement should never digress to personal attacks among members.

I appreciate this post very much because it brings this issue to light and serves as a reminder to all of us that even if we disagree with each other, we should do so respectfully and with humility. So let's use this reminder to up our game in making R2R the friendliest forum on the net! ;)