The Miracle Tank

[vetteguy53081]

Mildred, a full-time RVer, was lonely after losing her husband a couple of years and many miles ago, so she posted an ad on a popular website. The ad said: “Husband wanted.” She was surprised the next morning to find she had more than a hundred replies in her inbox. Unfortunately, they all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[Lowell Lemon]

Nah, that is what happened to Herrison Ford's plane after he landed it on the local golf course!
Or was that 5he one he landed on the taxi way instead of the runway. FAA dud warn him of substantial penalties. :zany-face:

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[dcsorrell]

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

Three good ol’ boys are on Death Row. They discuss how to distract the firing squad so they can escape, and come up with a plan. When the first one’s in front of the firing squad he yells “Tornado!” and the firing squad drop their rifles, run for cover and he escapes. The second man comes in front of the firing squad and at the last moment he yells “Earthquake!” and the firing squad drop their rifles, run for cover and he escapes. The third man, who’s not the brightest candle on the cake, then comes in front of the firing squad and at the last moment yells “Fire!”

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

What do you do if you are addicted to sea weed?
Sea kelp.

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

“I’ve got to get rid of our new chauffeur,” Arthur complained to his wife,
Mirabelle. “His driving is terrible. He almost killed me three times!”
“Oh,” pleaded Mirabelle, “just give him one more chance.”

 

[vetteguy53081]

Joe and Jenny drove for miles in silence in their new vehicle after a terrible argument in which neither would budge. After many miles had passed, a frustrated Joe pointed to a mule in a nearby pasture.
“A relative of yours?” he asked Jenny.
“Yes,” she replied. “By marriage.”

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[vetteguy53081]

A doctor left his stethoscope on the car seat, and on the way to preschool his little girl picked it up and began playing with it. “Wonderful!” thought the doctor. “My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!” Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”