This hobby has been tainted for me.

[dantimdad]

I am seriously considering getting out of the hobby.

I have had several transactions related to aquariums go bad lately on ebay, letgo and the last straw was on R2R.

I sold a perfectly good working light to a person. They did something to it, waited 4 weeks then told me it didn't work. I have a photo of it working literally 5 minutes before it was boxed up and shipped.

I highly doubt it was damaged in shipment given the way I packed it up. Plus, if it was he would have said something right off the bat.

Well, now, he has filed with paypal and called me a liar. Evidently, paypal thinks I am a liar as well and has put a hold on my account in the amount of the light until I get it back and refund his money.

On top of that, I have had a major setback when I broke something in my build that I can't afford to fix for while, especially since I have to give this guy his money back.

Many of you know, I have had a stroke earlier this year and stress is not good for that. I hadn't had a seizure in 6 weeks and had one last night.

So, since this hobby has become a source of stress and anxiety instead of one of enjoyment, I really need to rethink things.

This eats into Christmas money for my sons causing even more stress.

I have made friends here and had nice things done for me by folks here. I will feel like I let them down if I quit.

I thought this was a Christian forum. Evidently not, because a Christian wouldn't have done this to someone. (yes, that's judgmental and not Christian to say but I am really frustrated by all this)

I have messaged rev and heard nothing back. I am sure he is busy.

I WILL NOT NAME NAMES!

I just hope and pray this guy doesn't jerk anyone else around.

It's not the money. It is the principle and how I see dishonest people get ahead every day while folks like me struggle.

So, pray for me that I can move on from this either way.

I really have never just plain given up on something in my life. It's new territory for me.

 

[Katrina71]

Don't make me drive down there! Don't let some sour grapes and a little sump problem ruin this for you.

 

[Silver14SS]

It's a hobby and should be enjoyable. If it's not, there's nothing wrong with taking a break. Good luck with everything!

 

[Katrina71]

Can you post your exact sump needs? Lots of folks getting new things for Christmas. Maybe we can luck up and find one.

 

[WVNed]

I am confused. What do dishonest transactions on the internet have to do with keeping fish?
I would continue keeping fish and stop dealing with idiots on the internet.

I started throwing useful stuff away. You give it to someone for free and they still complain about it.

My fish are always happy to see me.

 

[Katrina71]

Strange. I'm happy with 3rd or 4th hand tanks and I'm more thankful than I can express for people that have been kind enough to sell me things at an affordable price, not to mention give me stuff. I couldn't even attempt to afford this hobby otherwise!

 

[Scurvy]

Sorry to hear of the bad luck. There's bad apples everywhere unfortunately and sometimes we find them all at once. Keep your chin up and try not to make a decision when your frustrated as you may come to regret that choice in time. All the best!

 

[dantimdad]

Thanks guys.

I appreciate the input.

I don't want a hand out. Really.

I am just wanting to figure out how to proceed.

And, @Katrina71 I am in no way trying to get a cop to come down here! One of my best friends is the Chief here and if he found out, he would probably arrest me just for the fun of it. LOL!

 

[Victoria M]

My fish are always happy to see me

I love this message.
Most important part.
I do not buy and sell stuff because of the issues you are having.
That is not what the hobby is for me anyway.
But I do understand your point.

 

[Katrina71]

What does it hurt to ask? Aren't we family here?

 

[dantimdad]

It would be one thing if the tank was setup and I could come home and see my fish.

Now, I can't even do that for quite a while.

It's just frustrating.

I am sure I will get over it.

@Victoria M it won't happen again. I am not going to deal with this stuff again with an individual over the internet. If I do buy anything again, it will strictly be retail.

 

[dantimdad]

What does it hurt to ask? Aren't we family here?

Yes, many of us are.

But, I am from the school where you don't ask for things.

Yes, you already know from our conversations, I am stubborn. ;)

 

[Victoria M]

It would be one thing if the tank was setup and I could come home and see my fish.

Now, I can't even do that for quite a while.

It's just frustrating.

I am sure I will get over it.

@Victoria M it won't happen again. I am not going to deal with this stuff again with an individual over the internet. If I do buy anything again, it will strictly be retail.

Take care of yourself. I am glad you are going to let tha bad go and go with the good. people are awesome, and people are turds.

 

[CindyKz]

So, since this hobby has become a source of stress and anxiety instead of one of enjoyment, I really need to rethink things.

This statement is key.

If it causing you stress instead of pleasure, it might be a good time for a break. Life is short - why force yourself?

Alternatively, see if you can isolate which aspects of the hobby are causing you stress and try to eliminate just those (ie, buying and selling stuff online).

Whatever you decide,hoping your health improves.

 

[hart24601]

It is too bad you have had all these issues. I would say it's the exception and not the norm although I sure understand taking a break if the hobby isn’t fun anymore and it’s a good idea. I kept a reef jar for a while so I didn’t leave totally, but the time and expense was very small.

 

[Katrina71]

Did I miss your post about your sump specs?o_O

 

[Captain Quint]

Yes, many of us are.

But, I am from the school where you don't ask for things.

Yes, you already know from our conversations, I am stubborn. ;)

+1 I ask for nothing other than honesty as you do.

 

[acro-ed]

@dantimdad ,
This might go against popular opinion, but I think it sounds like you should take a break.

The reality is that this hobby IS stressful. The challenge of it is what I enjoy, but for me there is more frustration than actual raw enjoyment.

Ignoring the idiot you are dealing with on the light transaction, the real issue here is your health. Getting your health back in check in a calm environment where you're not worrying about wasting money/time and expending stress is far more important right now.

I wish you the best with your health issues and with having a successful tank someday soon, when you're ready.

Take care,
Ed

p.s. While there may be many Christians on this forum, I would never want to exclude our reef brothers who are Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Jewish, etc. (as there are certainly many good folks here who belong to those denominations and/or others, or not religious at all).

 

[SandJ]

So sorry for the string of bad luck. I can understand how frustrating that is for you.

I understand about not asking for help/things. I can be the same way. But, sometimes it can bless the person giving just as much (if not more) than the person receiving. So you can be a blessing to someone by allowing them to help you.

And as a Christian, I am sure you have a desire to help others in need. But that is not possible if everyone turns away others wanting to help them.

I tend to hold onto my unused equipment and give it to someone that truly needs it than to try and sell it and deal with the hassle.

Did not mean to sound so preachy lol Just wanted you to know that this is an awesome forum and there are many times more people willing to help you out than try to scam you.

 

[Captain Quint]

dantimdad as requested I pray for your health and well being first and foremost.

You are nearly a 10-year member of our wonderful forum here and a solid rock to its foundation. I truly would not like to see you leave. I also look forward to your posts and presence on the forum.

You are correct. A Christian would not do such a thing reference the light you sent, nor would anyone with a moral compass. It certainly licks the red off of my candy.

If your decision to leave or take a break makes you feel as if you're letting friends down DON'T because friends understand. I consider you a friend as others here do and I would understand. I/we would sorely miss you but it really comes down to you, your health and family.