What to do when you want to quit?

revhtree · Mar 12, 2020

What to do when you want to quit?

It's inevitable I feel like. Not a normal everyday thought and not everyone thinks about it but I feel like most of us at some point feel like quitting the reef hobby. Today instead of focusing on why we want to quit sometimes let's focus on the positive of why we don't and why we didn't! Let's pass along some encouragement to someone who may be thinking of draining the tank at this moment.

1. When you want to quit what do you do that helps you regain focus and dedication to your tank?

2. Do you have a story where you should have quit but you didn't and now you're glad you didn't?

PLEASE INSPIRE SOMEONE BY SHARING A PHOTO FROM YOUR REEF!

Crabs McJones · Mar 12, 2020

The support and troublshooting from the community here has been a big part of why I'm still in the hobby.
Back when I experienced my tank crash and lost most of my coral, I was ready to tear it down and go back to lizards.
But everyone here was willing to help, ask questions, have me check stuff, and eventually we figured out the root cause of my crash (dirty sandbed causeing nitrate roller coasters)
If it wasn't for this site I would have thrown in the towel.

Billdogg · Mar 12, 2020

This is year 33 or so for me. To say that I've never thought of getting out would be a lie of epic proportions.

When my first tank got murdered by my soon to be ex gf was the first time. 54 assorted critters of all sorts in a 55. She turned off the AC on day one of a 5 day weekend for me while she "watched" my tank for me. 1st weekend of August. Boiled them all. I had decided to quit her over the weekend for other reasons, but that sealed it for me.

Numerous algae and/or pest issues over the years. Multiple near nuclear teardowns/redos.

Lately its more of a "Where else can I go from here?" thing. FO, FOWLR, predator, Species only, Anemones and clowns, soft corals, LPS, and now SPS. I've done them all. I suppose I could do a seahorse tank.

And it's not like I don't really like what I have now (mixed mostly SPS). I do. I really like it when people come over and ask me about whats in the tank. Educating friends and family is fun. I think it helps to show them just what we stand to lose.

I'm not ready to quit yet, but within 10-15 years (I'm 59 now) it will become increasingly difficult to give the tank the attention it needs, so I'll have to make a decision sooner or later.

Mr Fishface · Mar 12, 2020

I look forward to this thread. I am in the middle of a tank break right now. Drained my 125g and took out most rocks, trying to get rid of most my corals and fish. Things have just been to stale for me for a while now. Once it really started feeling like a bother to scrape the tank walls and fill up the ATO I decided maybe a break is in order.

I do love the hobby and hope to get back into it myself one day. For now I am just enjoying helping others with their problems and browsing this site.

Niteowl · Mar 12, 2020

I had a A/C failure this past summer. In Florida this is not good. I was floating frozen gallon jugs, putting fans at the top of the water even a window a/c pointed at the tank. The temperature went to 85. 2 weeks was the closeted time for a new a/c. It got done but I lost 60% of my coral. That was the closest I came to quitting. Now I’m putting this slowly back. Also added a cooling system for emergency’s. Extremely happy I didn’t quit.

brandon429 · Mar 12, 2020

what you want to do when considering leaving over frustration: downsize. Small reefs that use evaporation control are the easiest and most stable reefs in reefing, they're not much more work than owning a goldfish in fact...the equipment costs more lol

the tradeoff is you dont get the fancy fish back, just basic ones until you're ready to go back to battle preps for large tanks

following the old/dated rules of 'larger is more stable' is leading to mass frustration, loss, invasion waste. as usual, the masses were wrong about a reef rule. what large reefs do well is keep fish, the actual reef surface/corals/details are much harder to manager in large tanks vs small ones, where feeding and water changes grow all known corals without disease, simple tank cleaning means you're never wrecked from invasion. the tank isn't so large that you can't access, anymore.

right before quitting, set up a pico reef that doesnt evaporate much, you'll change your mind. upscale again later on, when you're ready for the battle.

always grow coral, allow no external pressures to stop you. The right sized reef for you is the max size you are willing to fully access; as soon as a rock set is too big for you to access the very bottom portion for guidance, for example, you're in a tank too big and your chances of total loss one day rise compared to totally accessible systems.

starting with an engineered for success nano reef where you feed and change water, feed and change water, as the sole care action fully reinstates you back into successful reefing, it can’t fail. Re: every jar reef ever made

Bob Weigant · Mar 12, 2020

Id say I was gonna quit a few times. First time was when I lived in Vegas and my AC went out. Took 2 weeks to get a new one. Pretty much lost almost everything. Second time was my divorce. I never thought I would recover from that expense. Most recently when I was hurt and the algae just took off. I never knew HA could grow so long. After all these events I still had the bug to do another tank. As time went by I was able to pay more things off and rejoin the hobby. Im very glad I did

Marc2952 · Mar 12, 2020

Im very new to the hobby but have already gone through a bunch of baddies, from velvet killing all my fish, to Dinos, briopsys, GHA, lots of coral deaths etc. Mind you all of this in the course of 6 months of being in the hobby. One thing that has hold me down is patience, patience is key in this hobby and i have learned the hard way.

MohrReefs · Mar 12, 2020

No, it's too expensive and intense for most people I know. Maybe one day I'll convince someone.

Auquanut · Mar 12, 2020

1. When you want to quit what do you do that helps you regain focus and dedication to your tank?
Occasionally, the redundancy of keeping the tank going strong kind of gets to me. Mix salt. Wash filter socks. Clean glass. Etc... Then repeat. Why do I spend so much time and money on this?
When that happens, I'll change things up a bit. Move something around or research something that I don't need and probably won't ever buy. I don't know why, but just changing gears a little bit is all it takes to bring me back to 100% devotion to the hobby. Just looking at the tank with all of it's flaws, I can't imagine not having this hobby as part of my life. And of course, spending way too much time on R2R helps a lot.

2. Do you have a story where you should have quit but you didn't and now you're glad you didn't?
I don't have a story in particular, but I'm still in the dreaming/planning stage of taking down a couple of my FW tanks and building a FOWLRish tank. I'm having a blast with the research and considering/rejecting options. Kind of hesitant to pul the trigger because at some point, it will be a reality, and the initial "fun" will be over.

clm65 · Mar 12, 2020

I've had SW tanks since 1997, with the current 180g built into the wall when we built this house in 2000. Quitting would not be easy, since getting rid of the tank will be far more work than just draining it and hauling it to the curb. But to be honest, I've never really even considered quitting. I'm fortunate to never have had a tank crash (knock on wood), but I did have a leak that required emptying the tank and resealing it. I have had periods where I've been kind of bored with the tank, but I have found that a trip to a public aquarium, or even SeaWorld, gets my juices flowing again. And now, with R2R, I can look at some of the incredible tanks that so many of you have, and that also tends to motivate me.

fish farmer · Mar 12, 2020

brandon429 said:
what you want to do when considering leaving over frustration: downsize. Small reefs that use evaporation control are the easiest and most stable reefs in reefing, they're not much more work than owning a goldfish in fact...the equipment costs more lol

the tradeoff is you dont get the fancy fish back, just basic ones until you're ready to go back to battle preps for large tanks

following the old/dated rules of 'larger is more stable' is leading to mass frustration, loss, invasion waste. as usual, the masses were wrong about a reef rule. what large reefs do well is keep fish, the actual reef surface/corals/details are much harder to manager in large tanks vs small ones, where feeding and water changes grow all known corals without disease, simple tank cleaning means you're never wrecked from invasion. the tank isn't so large that you can't access, anymore.

right before quitting, set up a pico reef that doesnt evaporate much, you'll change your mind. upscale again later on, when you're ready for the battle.

always grow coral, allow no external pressures to stop you. The right sized reef for you is the max size you are willing to fully access; as soon as a rock set is too big for you to access the very bottom portion for guidance, for example, you're in a tank too big and your chances of total loss one day rise compared to totally accessible systems.

This all day long. I've gone up and down, currently at 29 gallons and dream of the day I can downsize to a bowl.

I have mostly bulletproof weed soft corals, with some LPS. My tank is actually getting to the point of me wanting to try some easy sps and I've been in this hobby for 20 years. If my tank had a major meltdown, I would rebuild.

My clown fish are around 13 years old so I have to keep a home for them.

Humblefish · Mar 12, 2020

Hell, I want to quit every single day. But I have a mission to complete and that's what keeps me fired up. I used to allow setbacks to really get under my skin. Now I've learned to let them roll off my back, while staying firmly focused on my end-goals.

WiscoFishNut · Mar 12, 2020

2. Do you have a story where you should have quit but you didn't and now you're glad you didn't?

I don't know that I necessarily should have quit, but I probably would have been justified a little bit given what I went through.

Background - Last year in May I started up my first saltwater tank, a 75g FOWLR. Like a lot of folks I rushed through things, but did do a bit of research so I wasn't going at it completely blind. Things went really well right out of the gate most likely because I was really diligent about tank maintenance. Fast forward to July where disaster struck. We had some killer storms in our area and were left without power for 3 days. I was totally unprepared for the event and it ultimately ended with a complete wipe of the tank. It really had me questioning if I bit off more than I could chew with the hobby. With the wife's support I decided to start again with the 60g cube build I had been planning. Fast forward to today and I have a happy tank with a full group of fish and some reasonably healthy starter corals. Seeing the tank successful has been a really positive reminder that perseverance and persistence can pay off :)

The start -

To failure :(

To new beginnings

I'm really glad I didn't quit in the end. A lot folks' stories on this forum gave me reinforcement I needed to suck it up and start over when I was totally crushed by defeat. I learned a lot from the lessons and hopefully this tank will have a much happier story :D

Paul Kinsella · Mar 12, 2020

1. Texas Mule: Titos, Fever Tree Ginger Beer, twist of lime.
2. See above.

Pickwun · Mar 12, 2020

What to do when you want to quit:
1) find homes for anything still living in the tank
2) drain and clean
3) put the tank at the curb with a "Please Take Me" sign.
BTDT

McPuff · Mar 12, 2020

I have loved aquariums since I was quite young. I got my first one over 30 years ago and there has been very little time where I did not have an aquarium set up. My first experience in saltwater was around 1993 and since 2001 I've basically only had saltwater. My current system has been up and running since 2005 though it has moved into different glass/acrylic boxes and different houses. One of my fish has been with me that whole time in fact. The thought of tearing it down and not having another tank makes me sad. It's been my passion for most of my life and it's what drove me to go to graduate school. I teach people about the hobby whenever I can but I never 'push it on' anyone.

I've had 2 crashes: 1 from an unknown disease, likely bacterial; the other due to a faulty PC light fixture lighting on fire, causing a circuit to fail, thereby removing all power to the tank itself. I lost all but 3 fish though my corals (LPS, softies) survived.

Even now, with a loaded 300 gal SPS reef, I would not consider giving up even if the tank crashed. I would simply morph it into a different type of system. There are so many options I have considered (eels, predators, softy reef, etc.) that still seem too interesting to just forget about. With a 300 gal tank I'm now able to try some of those options if the time comes. But for now, I'm really enjoying the full-on reef and all the trials and tribulations that come with it. There is always something to keep me occupied and it rarely seems like a burden. I won't blame anyone for deciding to take a break or give up altogether but it's probably not in the cards for me if I have a choice.

cancun · Mar 12, 2020

Excellent topic! Have I thought of quitting the hobby... absolutely....many times over the years. Not one specific event, but different issues over the years with water chemistry, to several long time fish that mysteriously died within a few weeks of each other, frustration with LFS around me and their fish stock, etc etc.

Then I take a step back, take a deep breath, and marvel at my little echo system I have built and maintain. Also the people on R2R are so encouraging and positive...all of you keep me going as well. I also remind myself it is a hobby and fun not a chore that you don't like doing, like cleaning the bathroom or something.

I hope that I can motivate others to get into the hobby. I started out with a 29 gallon Biocube, then a 80 gallon, now a 200 gallon. I was in Petco the other day getting dog food. My Petco actually has a decent saltwater section. The worker had talked to me about plans to start their first sw tank. I told them that it was a great idea, and make sure and sign up on R2R! LOL!

exasperatus2002 · Mar 12, 2020

revhtree said:
What to do when you want to quit?

It's inevitable I feel like. Not a normal everyday thought and not everyone thinks about it but I feel like most of us at some point feel like quitting the reef hobby. Today instead of focusing on why we want to quit sometimes let's focus on the positive of why we don't and why we didn't! Let's pass along some encouragement to someone who may be thinking of draining the tank at this moment.

2. Do you have a story where you should have quit but you didn't and now you're glad you didn't?

I am new to reef keeping so I havent had any huge losses yet. But I have been keeping freshwater fish for most of my 44 years and have bred 35 species (not including live bearers). I did quit the hobby once when I reached my pinacle (or so I thought at the time). In the 90's, I had a beautiful trio of discus that were breeding for me. Finally, I spawned the king of the aquarium. Proud of my accomplishments and in awe of the care they provide their fry. I had them in a dutch style tank. I was on top of the world. Then one night, something spooked them and the male got his head wedged in the roots of some driftwood. It held his gills closed and I woke up to a dead discus. It was a disaster to me. I literally broke down. Gave the girls to my brother and tore down my tanks for a few years. I HATED those in between years. S*** happens. It sucks. It wouldnt have hurt so much if it wasnt something you loved. What it taught me was running away doesnt do any good. When you fall down, pick yourself up, rub some dirt on it. Evaluate and learn from your experience and keep going.

ReeferSteve · Mar 12, 2020

I don’t ever feel like quitting because of a problem. Only when I get bored do I feel like getting out. But, when that happens I usually just plan a new adventure with different species or trying new ideas.