LOL good thread. :p I can think of 3 scenarios in the twisted mind of Scottmac:
1. Asteroid
If the solar system in question had rubbish planets but had an asteroid belt, I would land my craft on a good sized asteroid instead rather than a planet, so I could hollow it out and create a Dyson Sphere. Asteroidal ice to provide as much water as needed, solar panels on the outside, living quarters and mineral extraction inside. In the gravitational centre of the Dyson sphere I would have a suspended globe of water filled with alien fish harvested from the oceans of the local planets for my amusement. (Which would appear directly 'up' overhead in the sky in the conversional sense of Earth directions from anywhere on the inside of the Sphere)
(See Star Trek Next Gen S6 EP4 Relics.)
2. Livable Planet but no advanced culture:
On a planet I also think the best way of survival is underground to escape any dangerous levels of solar radiation or weather on the surface and the herds of semi-sentient flesh-eating giant insectoids. So I would look for evidence of underground cavern systems with water, and set up Hydroponic Gardens using Geothermal Energy as a power source. But I would be very careful of death-sandpit trap Bobbit-worm-style underground predators! (see Film enemy Mine 1985)
3. Livable Planet with advanced glam rock Flash-era culture:
Ideally though, in a Ming the Merciless Flash Universe, i'd venture to the nearest glass palace city of space babes, where all the guards, despite being more tehnologically advanced, are for some strange reason only armed with swords (one in each of their 4 hands). Gun beats sword, so first thing i'd do is kill the Emperors Advisor (he is the one in the corner twisting his beard, and as any scifi fan knows, is the evil genius power behind any empire!) Once he was out of the way, i'd get rid of the puppet Emperor on the throne by throwing him into the mouth of the queen bog beast of eternal suffering and put a child in the Star Princess to solidify my claim to the Throne. Then I would rule like a Martian Emperor with a hareem of alien beauties!
My Empirial Legions of loyal soldiers, each adorned with impressive blonde Gallic mustaches and a grim expression, would be armed with Ohmu Shell Longswords and space-ruby lazer pistols (see Studio Ghibli Nausicaa) and would ride astride the giant Sandworms of Doom (see Frank Herbert, Dune). With these mighty warriors my space dynasty would rule the stars for a thousand eons battling armadas of space pirates and foul denizens of the chaos dimensions. (note: always pay your troops, that how Rome fell)
(See early 20th century books by Edgar Rice Burroughs).
