Finances

[reef-nut]

I have made a mess with our finances, so my wife has taken them over. She is in college, so she thinks she is smarter. The problem is she will not give me any money for what I am used to buying, like coral. Any ideas?

 

[Reef Pets]

Idea: Put your foot down!! If you earn money in your house hold it is insane to have to ask for it!!

 

[oceaninabox]

Get a part time job. Give her 1/2 and you keep 1/2 for coral. that way your bills get paid off sooner and you get money for the hobby.

 

[Leishman]

• Host a tank tour, sell frags, pocket cash.
• Open a PayPal account, sell frags online, pocket cash.

 

[ahayes13]

well this is prob a hard one. i would say if you have let her take over finances and that you are both trying to get everything fixed and within a budget then you should both be aloted an "allowance". it is both of your money, not just hers cause shes taken over the responsibility of trying to balance things out. and i guarantee if she wanted something she would prob just buy it. so i would say you both need to figure out how much you each will get out of each payday. so for allowance i would just say its for your own personal whatever you wanna buy. so if its $50 a payday then you each get $50 and thats it. i understand where she is coming from if she is trying to fix things. but at the same time its your money too and i think the allowance for each of you is the easiest way. but just my opinion. but obviously shes a female and most are spenders :) and she has to understand that the allowance pertains to her too and she cant just buy something else if shes gone over her allowance amount.

 

[Reef Goddess]

Well, it depends. If you owe a lot on cc's and really shouldn't be buying anything else then she is just looking out for you. Why don't you both sit down and work out a budget together, then agree on an amount you're allowed to spend on your tank each month.
Other than that I would say try hard not to be impulsive, since you know you need to save money, only spend on items you really want. Or set up a reward system, i.e.: I put $300 into savings this month so I can spend $50 on a coral. Something like that, so its not so hard for you to change your spending habits.

It also helps to keep track of how much you spend on everything from food, entertainment, utilities, etc, etc that way you realize how much money is going out. Every time my husband and I sit down and go through all of our expenses we always find areas where we could be spending less money; whether we need to eat in more often or find cheaper forms of entertainment, etc.

Also, keep in mind that you got yourself into this mess and just because your wife might be "smarter" with finances, its also a big responsibility for her to take on and the more you try to change your bad spending habits and help her out, the easier it will be.

Good luck!

 

[sleeper]

This may be way off base here, and we all know the power of reef addiction, A fish tank is not worth stress on your marrage or your finances to the point of adding stress to your life. And really if you have to just feed and water your tank for a few months it won't hurt since we all tend to move to fast anyway.

 

[reefboy]

I have made a mess with our finances, so my wife has taken them over. She is in college, so she thinks she is smarter. The problem is she will not give me any money for what I am used to buying, like coral. Any ideas?

If you admit you have made a mess I'd say you need to let her get things back on track and either find a way to trade for new goodies or sell some of your frags to purchase others because as it is your tank is a luxury and its costing you just sitting there so you dont want her to budget your tank completely out of the house so be good.:D

 

[reef-nut]

A lot of good advice. I did not mention, she is the worker in the family. She is going to school to be a RN and works 40 hrs. a week a the local hospital. She has been there 12 years and already makes good money. I am disabled and am on disability and I make a lot less than her. She is not mean, just needs a little time to fix things. I am just not used to having someone else tell me what I can buy. We will be married 9 years next month and we have 4 boys.

 

[sleeper]

All I can say is if she is doing nursing school, working full time, has 4 boys, and is taking on the finances to fix things, If you get any extra money you should buy her something with it! That is quite a feat, and she needs all the support you can give her right now.

 

[Leishman]

• Host a tank tour, sell frags, pocket cash.
• Open a PayPal account, sell frags online, pocket cash.

The wife gives me $200/month to do with as I please.

From Mrs. Leishman: "Our other accounts are not for your 'fish geek' needs"

Budgets are awesome, needed and save many marrages (but only if you stick to them).

 

[AlexStinson]

If you have a good insurance policy on her, Im sure you could find a way to buy a whoel lot of corals ;)

kidding of course

 

[MarvinsReef]

here's a site that might help... www.daveramsey.com

also, it doesn't hurt to read Robert Kiyosaki books to help with the thinking and perspective on things... this is where I learned how to do Balance Sheets, goal setting, etc... :)

there's a lot of good materials out there to read and if you and your wife can sit down and work it out, I think you guys should be good...

you know, even though I know about these things, it doesn't mean I always follow the principle.. there's times when I had to kick myself in the behind and get back to budgeting.. it's a day to day struggle sometimes but if you do the right things when it comes to the little things, sooner or later, it'll add up to something big...

good luck with this... :)

 

[FateX8]

i would have to say trade and sell your stuff if you want more stuff
OR
think of this time period as your growout period of what you already have
OR
be more picky and buy only the nicer things
that has helped me from spending money on corals, sure i spend more but not as often...

 

[reef-nut]

All I can say is if she is doing nursing school, working full time, has 4 boys, and is taking on the finances to fix things, If you get any extra money you should buy her something with it! That is quite a feat, and she needs all the support you can give her right now.

I agree, I do not deserve her. She is only 30 and I am 44.

 

[paintballer768]

From Mrs. Leishman: "Our other accounts are not for your 'fish geek' needs"

Sorry guys, but I lol'ed pretty hard.

reef-nut, it sounds like you got yourself a pretty awesome wife

 

[Hypertek99]

Reef-nut you are lucky to have a wife like that. She is looking out for you. This hobby is very addicting and can cause stress from over spending. I think it's awesome that she cut you off and are worried about your financial issues. The way the economy is going now i think it would be best to cut back on spending especially for something that is not needed. Well set up a budget like spend only $100 a month?? Or just keep saving up every month.

 

[reef-nut]

Yes, I am very lucky. Thanks for all the nice comments!

 

[ofblong]

wow I was in this situation. still am but not so much. My wife and I have almost quit buying anything for the kids as well as my wife and I (outside of things needed to live like food and clothing and the roof over our head). You cant go forever without buying something so my wife and I set goals. When we reach our goal she gets like something for her terrarium and I get something for my sw tank. Yes its hard not to spend money but its harder to be in debt. We used to spend $300 on each of our kids for their birthdays and now its down to $50 and $100 for christmas. Lets just say since January of this year my wife and I have paid down $32,000 in debt. I hope to be, other than my house payment, debt free end of next year beginning of 2010. I made a vow to put $25/week into a savings account and we do. Its alot easier to do than you think. Put it in and forget about it. You wont even notice its gone. I also took my w4's and changed it to 10 exemptions on federal (dang federal still took over 4 grand out of me this year) because I get 100% back thanks to having 4 children. Your not the only one in this situation but to fix it you have to realize there is a problem and it almost (based on your first post) seems like you are in the "denial" part. You need to realize that being debt free is better than having debt. I almost bought a truck but because of the debt I decided to wait until we only owe on our house and then pay cash for a new truck. yes that means 2 years from now but its better to live within a means than to live paycheck to paycheck.

 

[Leroy]

Very tough situation where I can relate where I was injured on the construction job 3 yrs ago and collect workmans comp. We just married a few weeks ago and her jobs are through job hunter agencies. I manage the bills but found if I want any corals for both 90 gal tanks I buy collectors ephemera and resell on ebay. We look for estate auctions and make a small investment to double or triple a profit to pay health insurance, dog vet bills and unexpected auto repairs. I took out a disabilty insurance on the loan of the car because of the risk factor working on staging 50 to 80 feet off the ground. Though it's true as above, use what knowledge you have in the hobby to have it make money for yourself.