Good advice. Untaken.

Scott Fellman

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This one is dedicated to all of those hobbyists out there who find themselves in a position to give advice to others...Perhaps you might take some comfort from, or perhaps relate to this story.

Like many in the industry, I receive a fair number of emails and calls from other hobbyists, some who just want to "run something by me"- others who have some pretty serious issues with their tanks and need some help.

I've always been a big fan of taking everyone's advice with the proverbial "grain of salt"- in other words, not taking every single thing even your most respected "mentor" tells you as "gospel." Let's face it- there is no single hobbyist who has ALL of the answers to EVERY question, right?

Besides, as the person giving the advice, your ego shouldn't get in the way- but you hope that the person asking at least takes some of it to heart.

So, about a month or so ago, I had a hobbyist, who was good friends with a good customer of mine, contact me about that most classic of problems- algae! She had that gnarly "Hair Algae" all over her rocks, and was apparently fed up with trying "all sorts of stuff" to get rid of it. (as an advisor, " I tried all sorts of stuff" immediately sends red flags up- along with the fact that the customer who referred her to me was VERY knowledgeable and experienced)

Display-Aquarium-with-Algae-2.jpg


We went through the usual questions about when it started appearing, physical setup, bioload, maintenance practices, water parameters, etc., etc. After just a few minutes, it was painfully obvious that she had an aquarium that was absurdly overstocked, pitifully maintained, and improperly equipped...And worst of all, she seemed like she actually knew this- heard it elsewhere- and simply wanted to keep asking advice from people until she heard what she wanted to hear.

And her tank had an ich infestation as well.

Yikes.

Fish-with-Ich.png


And of course, I "prescribed" the usual course of action: Lower the population of fish to a realistic level, "fallow" the tank while treating the sick fishes in a separate aquarium, manage water quality, upgrade filtration, etc. The usual stuff- the CORRECT stuff. the stuff I know works after a lifetime in the hobby. Good advice, in my opinion.

She wanted to use a liquid algaecide.

I tried to explain to her that algaecide is like the "nuclear option", and that you would only use that in the most grave of circumstances- even then, I'd still recommend other courses of action. Yeah, yeah, yeah- she's heard that all before. Besides, this stuff supposedly worked quickly and effectively.

bombs-nuclear_00406659_large.jpg


I admonished her yet again to try a different course of action- explained to her that this was a "band aid" at best- poison at worst- and would not take care of the longer-term issue at hand.(the old, "give a man a plow..." argument, right?)

She didn't want to here any of that. She just wanted my "blessing" to go ahead and employ the algaecide.

I told her that I wouldn't.

She of course, ended the call with an explanation that she had the stuff already and that she "might as well use it"- blah, blah, blah.

A few days later, I received a call from her "thanking me" for my advice, but that the algaecide did its job- killed all of the algae. Along with a bunch of her fishes...but that didn't seem to phase her. It was "acceptable collateral damage" in her mind...Besides, the ich, which seemed to be running rampant in her tank was gone. I think- actually- I know- that she called to "gloat."

In my mind, I wrote it off. Rationalized that, if something is toxic enough to kill fishes (the stuff she used has chemical constituents which MSDS says are fish poison, despite the manufacturer's allegations that it's safe to use "as directed"- gulp), it could have some impact on parasites as well.

Regardless...The fact that her flaunting of the conventional approaches "worked" for the short term, and the fact that it was easy (for her, not her fishes!), didn't involve waiting, lots of re-tooling of her system, or other labor made even the collateral fish deaths somehow "worth it" to her.

I wanted to speak up. Tell her that she was foolish, stubborn, etc., and that she may have "won the battle and lost the war", but I knew it would fall on deaf ears...

You simply can't win an argument with this kind of personality. About all you can do is point out the foible of their ways- however, when she's staring at an algae-free aquarium (for now), with apparently "healthy" fishes, it's hard to reconcile. And the problem is, there is always that 1 time out of 50 where everything DOES work out okay, despite the absurdity of the hobbyists's course of action. You know- everything somehow cones together to make it work out....

In this case, I know that it was a big loss for the fish, for the hobby, and for the hobbyist herself, who could have dialed down the arrogance for just a minute, and learned something that would pay long-term dividends...and that could be a lesson that she could in turn share with others.

In the end, it was not to be. But I did indeed learn a lesson myself...and that lesson is that you simply cannot "win 'em all." Sometimes, you just have to realize that you did your best, and that it was one of those "no-win" situations.

I had occasion to talk to my customer (the guy who referred "Ms. X' to me) a week or so ago. I asked here how "Ms. X' was doing...

The reply was as tragic as it was predictable:

"Oh, this sucks- she lost ALL of her fishes over a week...ALL of 'em. Broke the tank down. She's taking a break from the hobby."

Did I feel "vindicated" in any way?

No. Not one bit. In fact, I felt bad that I couldn't make a more persuasive argument.

On the other hand, I though about it and realized that this is one less person in the hobby who would be spreading bad advice to others...You know, perhaps even using the same warning I give before dispensing her potentially disastrous solution: "Don't believe everything everyone tells you..."

Yikes.

I guess that's how the hobby weeds out the "unworthies?"

That may sound arrogant, but it provides a small degree of comfort for a guy like me, when good advice remain untaken, and no lesson is learned as a result.

Something to think about.

Stay helpful. Stay humble.

Stay Wet.

Scott Fellman




 
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revhtree

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Some people don't really want advice they want permission! Nice thoughts Scott.
 

Lowstorm

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I clicked 'like' even though this is sad. Probably one of the saddest parts of our hobby. People fishing for that one person that will tell them 'oh, its alright' even though everyone else they speak to says 'no, don't do it, xyz will happen and it will fail'. I think anyone who's been in Reefing for a while runs into that.
 
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Scott Fellman

Scott Fellman

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I clicked 'like' even though this is sad. Probably one of the saddest parts of our hobby. People fishing for that one person that will tell them 'oh, its alright' even though everyone else they speak to says 'no, don't do it, xyz will happen and it will fail'. I think anyone who's been in Reefing for a while runs into that.
I know, it really is sad. There are some people that have simply made up their minds...And it's frustrating, because that same stubbornness and tenacity, if channeled positively into something like coral propagation or breeding fish, could be such a huge benefit for the hobby. Potential. Wasted. Sucks.
 

shred5

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Some people don't really want advice they want permission! Nice thoughts Scott.

This and everyone is looking for a magic cure.
You do not even have the chance to offer good advice..
Take any cyanobacteria thread, You are out numbered by so many people who have used chemiclean, some oxidizer or some antibiotic like erythromycin...
 
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Pola0502ds

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I have a buddy like this, would call me weekly for advice on off topic subjects because he never learned the basics in life and i know how to fix and design a lot of things. I would give him the advice and he went the other way, often failing, and finally i just told him "if you're not going to take my advice then stop asking for it". And that was that, he is actually one of my good friends too. They are just people like that out there.
 

tomxreef

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I have dealt with people like this in the past. Funny thing is, if you had agreed to deploy the nuclear option and the result is the same, she would now have been coming to you and blaming you.
Now I do some unorthodox things in my Nanos, but I never encourage anyone to follow suit and to always read up on whatever it is before hand.
 

shred5

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Wow just after posting the above I hit new threads and wow there is Cyno how do I get rid of it?
First poster starts out ok and then here we go chemi clean and antibiotics.
Second post lights out and hydrogen peroxide.
lol...
 

anthonyroc

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Same arguments with ick also. you get the always in your tank nonsense. I believe you have to find the cause of the problem before treating with anything. I personally don't like using chemicals at all. I recently had a algae outbreak and figured it out took me a little bit. The membrane on my ro **** to bed. No chemicals just changed the membrane and a few water changes and the algae just vanished. There is no quick fix in this hobby. But if don't want to really take advice from people that have been in this hobby for some time then this hobby is not for you. People with knowledge in this hobby try to help so you don't have to go through what they have had to. I can't stand people who have no respect for the animals In reef keeping.
 

Electrokate

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I am contemplating a return to retail and dreading those situations, because they come up so often. One lady had the classic "Nemo" tank with all the fish from the movie, the blue tang had the worst HLLE I have ever seen when the shop owner confiscated it from her. He was her maintenance tech. She went through a can of flake a week. Big can. No skimmer, water opaque. She eventually decided we were at fault somehow and quit. Another lady screamed at my coworker at a different store, said she hated him because he wouldn't sell her any animals knowing her reef was only a couple weeks old and tested positive for ammonia. He patiently spent an hour explaining. She stormed out and went to a box store where she bought a bunch of fish, then triumphantly returned and told us so. She said the box store employee said it was all good, we were wrong. She wrote a Google review about us and specifically calling my coworker "The Fish N a z i". (Soon after the joke was after he did water testing "NO FISH FOR YOU!") A few weeks later she came back and pointed at him and said she hated him and he should stay away but she would talk to me. All her fish died. Water sample was atrocious. She agreed to fallow the tank and buy proper filtration and not listen to people who don't have her best interests at heart anymore. Ironically she and her partner ended up with one of the best stores in the area about a year later. They were willing to learn. The other lady, I hope she doesn't see that new Nemo movie with a whole family of blue tangs.
 

Wudotcom

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Kudos to the people who truly want to educate and help others with the saltwater hobby. However, how many times do we run into someone who likes to chastise or be the tang police every time someone asks a question. But yet we never see their setup or anytime they pose a question it's usually why are my fish or corals looking like crap.
 

Live Water

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I've discovered that this mentality is common with people that have fish only tanks. (Not saying that your customer was a FO) I have basically written off servicing fish only tanks anymore as a result of dealing with people like this consistently. I can't stand to watch fish die while people don't listen to my advice but hire me and expect me to make miracles happen with no upgrades to equipment or increases in the number of service visits. It makes me sick but most of what I maintain now is reef tanks and a lot of my fish in customers tanks have been there for years already and will be there for years to come because I've become more selective with who I deal with. Arrogance is one of the largest faults of mankind. I love this business because every time I go to one of my tanks it feels like I'm saving fish and corals from people who want a tank but don't want to understand every single detail of what it takes to keep one.
 

DMan

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Not to put you on the spot, but a question I was asking myself. If that person came into your shop and wanted to start up another system. What would you do? Me, I think I'd be tempted to tell her to find another hobby. But then again could this person be put on the right path this time around? Or would they just pick up wherer they left off, and continue to ignore proper advice?
 

Mirelyght

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man.....reading this i've relived every phone call or service visit for people who just want a silver bullet for their problems.

i'm a pest control tech and i run into everything.....people want to know how to do their own pest control especially when it comes to stinging insects which usually results in an E.R. visit and a 2nd call to me. the thing is...if you don't help them reason through the costs of ignoring your advice then they'll just do it again in another way. some would call this gloating....i do not...its my responsibility to make sure that customer knows its less expensive to call a professional, then take his/her advice, than it is to visit the E.R. at $1,000 a pop.

those poor fish. that really makes me angry that they're basically treated like ornaments than actual living creatures.
 

scottbapilot

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Scott,
Your knowledge is awesome, I have asked for it a couple of time's on this forum and you respond quickly and correctly, Please don't get frustrated and continue to help us with less knowledge and willing to learn.
 

Summer4infinity

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I have been dealing with the male version of this the last few months.
This is the second time in the last few years that someone has seen my tanks, started their own saltwater tank, ignored virtually every single piece of my advice, and then gets frustrated and "wants my help" when things go horribly wrong (who wouldn't put an anemone in a 2 DAY old tank?!).
This persons current stock in a 60 gallon cube... 3 clowns, 2 butterfly's, an angel, a large angler, and a Volitan lionfish... but it's okay because he googled and found other people keeping fish in tanks that were way smaller than the suggested minimum size. The angler has started eating his other fish, but it "shouldn't, if he keeps it well fed enough".
I've given up trying to force information on him, but when stuff goes bad, I can't help but tell him that this is WHY I told him it wasn't a good idea in the first place.
 

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