How do you juggle your tank with family/wife?

[Justin....#JAMAS]

my reef comes first every one can kiss my *** just kidding get your wife involved my love has her own 125 gallon thank and i have 180 gallon that we both love plus a 29 gallon nano

Awesome!! I really wish we had some big tanks like that man, we only have just one 75 gallon mixed reef and a little 40 gallon freshwater....would really really love to have big tanks!

 

[Proberta]

I think I'm in the lucky minority that my spouse and I enjoy doing these things together.

We have a "divide and conquer" approach. I take care of water chemistry, he does feeding and fish/coral maintenance. We both contribute on water change days. We enjoy going to the LFS on the weekends and look forward to attending the local swaps together. If you can get your spouse or significant other involved in the tank too, however small the task might be, it increases the amount of enjoyment you get out of the hobby exponentially.

My husband I are the same. We share all duties. We are trying to get our 8 year-old into it also, but that's slow going.

 

[Medic58]

I do all my daily family activities first. Then at night i do tank Maintenance once a week. I test and feed early in the morning before anyone wakes up.

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

I'm so glad to see soo many families that are united and not divided when it comes to the reef tank! I love to see everybody's different routines and schedules! Def giving me some ideas!!! Thanks everyone for sharing

 

[dreamsr]

This thread is the tree of knowledge for me: 2 pieces of fruit so far—
1. I have a friend far away who has a gorgeous house (as in, the house has an agent and is rented out for commercials and tv shows). Her husband has a very large reef tank. No matter how I try to ask her about it, or to pass questions on to him, she always tells me the same thing—it’s an expensive and time consuming hobby that I don’t want to get into. Now I get it, lol!
2. The “little” 50 gal tank I’m planning this fall/winter (my first ever!) might indeed take up more time than I want to spend, even though I’d love to have beautiful corals and cool animals in my home. Can you guys who have said you spend hours and hours on your tank(s) say how big they are? How much time should I plan to spend, if I want to take good care of my darlings, but not tend anything too picky?

 

[dreamsr]

I'm lucky in the fact that my wife is the one who goes "ooooh, that would look great in one of our tanks". I'm the one who does all the setup and maintenance, she does most of the "shopping", which works great for us.

How does that work? I’ve been following here for half a year, plan to get my first tank in another half year. In my daydream plans for the tank, any small change means everything else has to get adjusted because some things get along better than others, some produce so much of something that it throws the rest out of whack if there aren’t also some of this other thing..... Am I overdoing it, and the balance isn’t really that tricky?

 

[Skibum]

After I had my tank setup, I've been doing DSR method. I spend approximately 30 minutes a week (not at once) doing maintenance. For those that don't know it means no water changes. I'm not claiming it's better, it's different and it works for me. Tank maintenance w/o water changes is really a game changer imo.

1. Filling up Fresh RODI (Okay this takes longer than a few hours, I have to monitor the bucket getting filled up so it doesn't overflow, but that's a pretty passive activity)
2. Testing Alk/CA/mg/No3/Po4 Sunday ~15 minutes weekly
3. Adjusting dosing levels ~3-5 minutes weekly
4. Scraping glass and feeding. ~Few minutes daily

I can't think of any other *regular* activity I perform other than the above. So far it's been running this way for almost a year now.

 

[MnFish1]

HOW DO YOU JUGGLE YOUR TANK AND FAMILY DUTIES?

Having a reef tank or fish only tank, has its challenges and has its benefits! The excitement of watching your corals grow is very intriguing! The beauty and the colors of all the fish and other animals that are in your reef tank are the most exciting thing to me! To be able to have a piece of living art and a piece of the ocean in my very own living room is the most awesome idea that i can ever think of! But im curious to know what others think and want to really hear peoples voices in this. How do you personally juggle your reef tank maintanence, coral shopping, fish shopping, reading and investigsting all the time, research, and starring at your "baby" (your reef tank) without there being words from your wife like, " that tank is more important than me" or "thats all you do"! I know alot of people, once that fire of reefing is lit underneath them, really pay alot of attention to their tank and it can get quite difficult to keep up your family duties without your family thinking that your tank is more important than them! Soo lets hear it, do u have problems juggling these two? Id like to hear and all of us to help eachother if this is happening to some! Bc i see and hear of relathionships ruined bc of this all the time! Thanks in advance for your voice, and look forward to your responses! Happy Reefing Families!

1. You shouldn’t need to go coral shopping that often if it’s growing

2. If the fish are living why do you need to keep adding more unless you want more problems or are making a new tank

3. This may sound harsh. Bu if your tank is causing stress in your family you should cut back on your tank. It takes me at most an hour per day to do all I want to my 4 tanks
I
4. Involve your spouse and family in the process

 

[shifty2427]

HOW DO YOU JUGGLE YOUR TANK AND FAMILY DUTIES?

Having a reef tank or fish only tank, has its challenges and has its benefits! The excitement of watching your corals grow is very intriguing! The beauty and the colors of all the fish and other animals that are in your reef tank are the most exciting thing to me! To be able to have a piece of living art and a piece of the ocean in my very own living room is the most awesome idea that i can ever think of! But im curious to know what others think and want to really hear peoples voices in this. How do you personally juggle your reef tank maintanence, coral shopping, fish shopping, reading and investigsting all the time, research, and starring at your "baby" (your reef tank) without there being words from your wife like, " that tank is more important than me" or "thats all you do"! I know alot of people, once that fire of reefing is lit underneath them, really pay alot of attention to their tank and it can get quite difficult to keep up your family duties without your family thinking that your tank is more important than them! Soo lets hear it, do u have problems juggling these two? Id like to hear and all of us to help eachother if this is happening to some! Bc i see and hear of relathionships ruined bc of this all the time! Thanks in advance for your voice, and look forward to your responses! Happy Reefing Families!

Happy tank = Happy life. I mean Happy wife = Happy life. My wife gives me crap about my tank but she knows how much the tank means to me so she cuts me some slack. All her friends she invites over complement the tank and at times she says it’s time for some pinks and purples in your tank. What I do about balancing time is I get off work early if I need to visit the local fish store and I do tank maintenance first thing Saturday morning it also helps she usually gets out of bed around 11:00am.

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

How does that work? I’ve been following here for half a year, plan to get my first tank in another half year. In my daydream plans for the tank, any small change means everything else has to get adjusted because some things get along better than others, some produce so much of something that it throws the rest out of whack if there aren’t also some of this other thing..... Am I overdoing it, and the balance isn’t really that tricky?

Yeah the balance is very important and stability is def a key role in corals staring to grow and thrive. But its not as tricky as you would think, it seems that way now but when you get your hands wet and start actually doing it, youll lo ok back on this post and be like, man why did i ask that. Lol no offense at all!!!! But if any advice i can give you it would be to get a good salt mix! I personally use red sea coral pro salt and the levels at 1.024 is my sweet spot with my corals that make them really pop out new heads and stays very stable for about a solid week!

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

Happy tank = Happy life. I mean Happy wife = Happy life. My wife gives me crap about my tank but she knows how much the tank means to me so she cuts me some slack. All her friends she invites over complement the tank and at times she says it’s time for some pinks and purples in your tank. What I do about balancing time is I get off work early if I need to visit the local fish store and I do tank maintenance first thing Saturday morning it also helps she usually gets out of bed around 11:00am.

heck yeah man your EXACTLY right!! Happy wife=happy life!!!!!! And my wife does give me crap sometimes as well but not too often bc she also knows how much it means to me! We all have alot in common!

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

1. You shouldn’t need to go coral shopping that often if it’s growing

2. If the fish are living why do you need to keep adding more unless you want more problems or are making a new tank

3. This may sound harsh. Bu if your tank is causing stress in your family you should cut back on your tank. It takes me at most an hour per day to do all I want to my 4 tanks
I
4. Involve your spouse and family in the process

just so you know, i didnt start this thread bc i was having family problems or my wife was leaving me or im wanting to add more fish or corals or any of that! Others do face the issue of npt being able to balabce this and actually have had divorces and problems in their family bc of this! Thank god i havent and sounds like alot of people dont have this problem, but i created this thread as just a way for people to share how they simply balance the two! No more, no less! Think you may be reading too much into it! Just wanted to create conversation between everybody and help others, not complicate things man, ya know?

 

[dreamsr]

Yeah the balance is very important and stability is def a key role in corals staring to grow and thrive. But its not as tricky as you would think, it seems that way now but when you get your hands wet and start actually doing it, youll lo ok back on this post and be like, man why did i ask that. Lol no offense at all!!!! But if any advice i can give you it would be to get a good salt mix! I personally use red sea coral pro salt and the levels at 1.024 is my sweet spot with my corals that make them really pop out new heads and stays very stable for about a solid week!

I am certain I’ve already asked dumber questions than that, and will ask more once I can finally start putty g the thing together. I’m making a note of the salt mix you mentioned. But the “mix” I was referring to was between the different critters, that some them need each other and some are like cars & dogs. Sounds like that isn’t a thing you think about, so must not be as big a deal as I thought.

 

[tiggs]

I fully subscribe to the "happy wife/girlfriend, happy life" method. I make sure she gets whatever she wants/needs and in return, she doesn't go too overboard with that and I get to do my thing with my tanks. Although I'm not permitted to turn the living room into an aquaculture operation or culture phyto in the kitchen.

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

I am certain I’ve already asked dumber questions than that, and will ask more once I can finally start putty g the thing together. I’m making a note of the salt mix you mentioned. But the “mix” I was referring to was between the different critters, that some them need each other and some are like cars & dogs. Sounds like that isn’t a thing you think about, so must not be as big a deal as I thought.

Just really ddpends on what critters you wabt in your tank....do you want a peaceful tank, or a predator tank? Whhats are you trying to keep?

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

I fully subscribe to the "happy wife/girlfriend, happy life" method. I make sure she gets whatever she wants/needs and in return, she doesn't go too overboard with that and I get to do my thing with my tanks. Although I'm not permitted to turn the living room into an aquaculture operation or culture phyto in the kitchen.

yeah the phyto culture in the kitchen can get quite nasty, especially to a female! Lol

 

[Justin....#JAMAS]

Family first.

Lost a tank a decade or so back, when my wife's father was sick. Life and family needed all of my time, the tank was totally ignored for 5 months.

I've been married for 23 years now. At this point, she KNOWS where my priorities are, and I know hers. I've never given her reason to suspect that my hobbies are anywhere near as important to me as my family is. Don't intend to ever do so.

Exactly! Family always comes first, after God, for me of course! We all know whats important in life, bc after this life whats next? But while were here family has got our backs! Im glad to see this post right here man!

 

[Leyth]

Tank first, apologize when you get called out. Rinse and repeat. Annnnd just kidding

 

[JonPhillips]

Every day is tank day. The kids like to be involved as much as they can. WC, glass cleaning, bucket rinse, feeding, LFS, etc. I like showing them what it means to take care of something and pay attention to details. They see me learn, get frustrated, and enjoy the tank. Sometimes all in one day. Some day, God willing, I’ll be going over to their houses to see their tanks. I’ve always seen it as something we can do together and will bond us together. When I’m at work I see it as a part of me I leave at home that’s always with them. Weird. We’re not much into sports at the moment besides swimming.

My wife is pretty hands off besides looking in and commenting: is that dead, it that supposed to be floating upside down, why is that turning white, etc. Keeps me on my toes with the adrenal glands pumping. She doesn’t really get it, but that’s OK. She lets me talk about it as long as it’s not ALL the time. As far as balancing finances, I always say, honey, this IS the last tank.

 

[foxt]

No juggling, it has just become another experience on the list of shared experiences, like little league games or weekend getaways or even dentist appointments. When we’re on the road and we want to check out a LFS or even an aquarium like the nice one in Atlanta, it is just another side trip like the one we might take to the hockey hall of fame (my wife loves hockey, not me!).

It does get interesting when we try to get friends to feed the tank when we are away for more than a few days, but they have cats that we take care of for them so it works out just fine.