Isn't that the truth. Mentally I feel like I'm in my 20s but physically my body says you cant do that anymore you fool.
I feel the same way about my tank except I dose a different pain management then whisky. I read the entire thread before I started this reply. More to come.
My parents have been gone for a while longer, but forgive me for skipping this condolences because I am very familiar with the impact of grief. I would respectfully recommend that you delay abandoning your beloved tank in the recent aftermath of your wife’s mother’s passing. You seem to have formed a coping strategy in a very short time. Not going to pass judgement on your strategy, just caution you on making extreme changes DURING the grieving process.
This was where my concern level peaks. I don’t know you, or your daughters and wife. I would like to know what they are thinking at this time, and also what they will be thinking about all of this in Spring 2026? They/you may have clearer thoughts (and much different thoughts) about how to proceed as a family (travel, or daughter’s coming HOME to visit you) after your grievances have matured?
Excellent thoughts, but I would slow down and check out and be certain that they all want to be there with you for extended periods of time. My own kids are generally available for a few days and up to a week for gatherings. Longer periods don’t work for them. Again, I don’t know your family, I just want to remind you that “Nothing good happens quickly in reefing.” Family is the same. If the girls are available to travel over summer break, and they want to go to the same places you want to see then you can plan to plan your next chapter, including even a tank breakdown after February and be certain that your family will have the best time moving forward.
Forgive me if I sound rude or anything but supporting you during a challenging time. Sorry for your loss.
Thank you, yes automation really helps. With my mother in law passing over Christmas, my tank was on autopilot while I helped my wife. Didn't have time to check it daily. Of course my alk doser line clogged and no alk in the tank for over a week. Dropped to 5 DKH. Nice panic for me when I finally checked it. Slowly brought it back to 7.7 DKH over a week and everything seems ok.
You presented great thoughts. I should clarify this is not a spontaneous decision. We have discussed this for many months before I came to my final decision and it was a family decision as they love my tank like I do. I just feel its time to focus on other life things now On the bucket list. Yes, we will have a grieving period of course and some will be sad for a long time. I know I can always get another system down the line but how many opportunities will I have to spend beautiful moments with my family creating memories? I aint no young buck anymore. I think what really made me consider this route was 2 years ago, my best friend and neighbor of 26 years passed away. He was only 54 and I was the last person to talk to him that night and still grieve for his wife and teenage daughter, the struggles they have. Just really got me thinking how short and precious life is and I have to make the most of it with my family.
Good enough! I wish you all good health and happiness in the next chapters of your life.
Thank you, I dont have many chapters left in my life book so need to get rollin
Family over everything!My tank is approaching 5 years and I love this beautiful hobby. Nothing more relaxing then sipping a good whiskey at night in front of my tank but recent events have made me make the difficult decision to shut down my tank.
My wifes mom passed away over Christmas and it has been very hard on her and the family. It really got me thinking how precious and short life really is. Im not a young guy and have 2 daughters. One in college and another in high school and there is so much more I want to experience with them before I'm to old and they are grown and on their own. I sold one of my properties to pay for their college but I also really want to take them and my wife on world travel so they can see different cultures and history. Im talking extended travels all over. Obviously this is difficult if you are worrying about your tank. I've had neighbors tank sit for a week or two here and there but I don’t want to burden them multiple times and I'm so OCD about the care of my animals most have been with me close to 5 years too.
Also, few years back I got a 4runner and really started to enjoy overlanding day trips in California but I really want to expand on this hobby also and see many different parts of our country that I've only read about. I'm retired so loading up for a multi week trip around our beautiful country just sounds so relaxing to me.
Essentially, I feel if I dont get going on some of these family life plans then they may never happen but I'm so concerned about the tank break down. I wish I could just give everything as is to a young reefer with a family to enjoy in their home like I've enjoyed it here in mine. The care and well being of my aquatic friends is so important to me.
I have really enjoyed the camaraderie and friendship with many of you here. We all have the same love of the hobby.
Family over everything!My tank is approaching 5 years and I love this beautiful hobby. Nothing more relaxing then sipping a good whiskey at night in front of my tank but recent events have made me make the difficult decision to shut down my tank.
My wifes mom passed away over Christmas and it has been very hard on her and the family. It really got me thinking how precious and short life really is. Im not a young guy and have 2 daughters. One in college and another in high school and there is so much more I want to experience with them before I'm to old and they are grown and on their own. I sold one of my properties to pay for their college but I also really want to take them and my wife on world travel so they can see different cultures and history. Im talking extended travels all over. Obviously this is difficult if you are worrying about your tank. I've had neighbors tank sit for a week or two here and there but I don’t want to burden them multiple times and I'm so OCD about the care of my animals most have been with me close to 5 years too.
Also, few years back I got a 4runner and really started to enjoy overlanding day trips in California but I really want to expand on this hobby also and see many different parts of our country that I've only read about. I'm retired so loading up for a multi week trip around our beautiful country just sounds so relaxing to me.
Essentially, I feel if I dont get going on some of these family life plans then they may never happen but I'm so concerned about the tank break down. I wish I could just give everything as is to a young reefer with a family to enjoy in their home like I've enjoyed it here in mine. The care and well being of my aquatic friends is so important to me.
I have really enjoyed the camaraderie and friendship with many of you here. We all have the same love of the hobby.
Thank you
Good luck on your travels!
Thank you Sir, I have never really been active on any forums on the internet except for this one. They never interested me enough to join actively. But this site had such passion and comraderie in it. Everyone with the same love of the hobby. Someone has an issue or a problem and 20 strangers they never met jump in to help within 5 minutes. I learned so much from others here about the hobby and really want nothing but the best for this special group of people that come here to socialize and create beautiful pieces of the ocean
Sorry for your loss too. Yes it just feels like the years fly by now as you age. Getting old sucks, no other way to put itWe seem to have very similar life situations ......my wife's mom also passed away during Christmas and I also have kids in college....and also am getting older unfortunately. Life sure moves much quicker the older you get
