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- Jun 26, 2020
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[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]
Y'know, I've tried so hard up till now to be good. Breed fish to reduce overwhelming pressures on fishing stocks. Provide my intelligence free of charge to the curious smart reefers I know y'all are. Give advice, recommend books to read, tell people about awesome stuff and ask stupid questions; all things that good me has done. But, I guess it's time to turn (or rot) a new leaf. I'M EVIL NOW Y'ALL.
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
But...why am I evil? Is it my charming good looks? Is it my big brain attitude? If you guessed purchasing decision, then you've got it spot on! That's right folks, I'm evil BECAUSE I BOUGHT A WILD CAUGHT BANGGAI CARDINALFISH A WHILE BACK. cue thunder and screams of the departed. Yup, you heard it here second. I made a monetary decision, and now to the fake social justice warriors of the reefing forum, and especially the banggai cardinalfish police, I am officially an evil person. Since, y'know, they're more focused on proving a point than on actually getting people to change their minds and make ethical decisions, and would rather shame people and put words in their mouth (I don't think they paid attention to the lesson in class when it got taught that to effectively change a person's mind, it's easier to do that with emotion than with logic)...
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
I will now proceed to go into every thread that has ever mentioned banggai cardinalfish, and tell them "I'm saving the coral reefs by buying wild caught fish banggai cardinalfish!" I even have the appropriate kukuku corgi (his name is waffles) and mwahahahamster (both of which are evilly adorable) lined up when I text.
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
Man, being evil is so easy. I just have to click away at all the buttons that say "wild caught banggai cardinalfish" and proceed to exterminate a species according to some people on this forum by buying the fish and providing a little bit of extra income towards fishermen in Indonesia. And to think that I could have stayed not evil and good if people had taken the time to learn the entire situation and realize that buying wild caught BCs isn't as evil as they thought....
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
Oh, and one last time for the people in the back: I AM EVILLY HELPING TO SAVE THE CORAL REEFS BY BUYING WILD CAUGHT BANGGAI CARDINALFISH BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT EVIL PEOPLE DO!!!!! I SHALL PROCEED TO BUY ALL THE FISH FROM THE BANGGAI ISLANDS, AND PUT THEM IN A BOX. AND THEN PUT THAT BOX IN ANOTHER BOX. AND THEN I'LL MAIL THAT BOX TO MYSELF. AND WHEN THAT BOX ARRIVES?!?!?! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA. IT'S BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!! Oh wait...maybe that's Prince Kuzco...oh well, if it works for a flea llama person, it should work for fish.
Y'know, I've tried so hard up till now to be good. Breed fish to reduce overwhelming pressures on fishing stocks. Provide my intelligence free of charge to the curious smart reefers I know y'all are. Give advice, recommend books to read, tell people about awesome stuff and ask stupid questions; all things that good me has done. But, I guess it's time to turn (or rot) a new leaf. I'M EVIL NOW Y'ALL.
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
But...why am I evil? Is it my charming good looks? Is it my big brain attitude? If you guessed purchasing decision, then you've got it spot on! That's right folks, I'm evil BECAUSE I BOUGHT A WILD CAUGHT BANGGAI CARDINALFISH A WHILE BACK. cue thunder and screams of the departed. Yup, you heard it here second. I made a monetary decision, and now to the fake social justice warriors of the reefing forum, and especially the banggai cardinalfish police, I am officially an evil person. Since, y'know, they're more focused on proving a point than on actually getting people to change their minds and make ethical decisions, and would rather shame people and put words in their mouth (I don't think they paid attention to the lesson in class when it got taught that to effectively change a person's mind, it's easier to do that with emotion than with logic)...
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
I will now proceed to go into every thread that has ever mentioned banggai cardinalfish, and tell them "I'm saving the coral reefs by buying wild caught fish banggai cardinalfish!" I even have the appropriate kukuku corgi (his name is waffles) and mwahahahamster (both of which are evilly adorable) lined up when I text.
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
Man, being evil is so easy. I just have to click away at all the buttons that say "wild caught banggai cardinalfish" and proceed to exterminate a species according to some people on this forum by buying the fish and providing a little bit of extra income towards fishermen in Indonesia. And to think that I could have stayed not evil and good if people had taken the time to learn the entire situation and realize that buying wild caught BCs isn't as evil as they thought....
...[This post is satire. THIS POST IS SATIRE. This post is satire. This post is satire.]...
Oh, and one last time for the people in the back: I AM EVILLY HELPING TO SAVE THE CORAL REEFS BY BUYING WILD CAUGHT BANGGAI CARDINALFISH BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT EVIL PEOPLE DO!!!!! I SHALL PROCEED TO BUY ALL THE FISH FROM THE BANGGAI ISLANDS, AND PUT THEM IN A BOX. AND THEN PUT THAT BOX IN ANOTHER BOX. AND THEN I'LL MAIL THAT BOX TO MYSELF. AND WHEN THAT BOX ARRIVES?!?!?! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA. IT'S BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!! Oh wait...maybe that's Prince Kuzco...oh well, if it works for a flea llama person, it should work for fish.