Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aarrrggghhhhh!!!!!!

jessiesgrrl · Jan 13, 2007

Ok, this is a primarily male board... I gotta ask this before it drives me NUTS.

K has been acting weird since I passed boards. I don't like to fight- I generally leave the room and work on the tank if someone wants to pick a fight when they are upset about something. (I'd rather talk about it when no one is yelling imo- nothing gets done when someone's yelling)... I do make more thanhe does now by quite a bit, but what freaks me out is that he has a WAY good job for Maine standards- he works for the fed govt as a site supervisor for an airport. He makes good money, and he did got the job WITHOUT a dregree- something 99% of people couldn't do to save their lives.

At first the comments were "Don't use that psychology on me!", then "You think you are smarter", then comments about my educational level... I have tried to tell him the truth- I value him not for his educational status or lack thereof, but instead for the way he makes me feel. That's all I really need a man for in my life- to love on me... It's seriously all I want. And the more this educational/pay scale thing freaks him out, the more the quits doing exactly what I need him for.

I don't wanna be on the road all dang day long looking forward to getting home and relaxing with him, and then have to deal with this... what the heck do I do to get him back on track???

Grrrrrrrr
Laurie

msman825 · Jan 13, 2007

Humm, I take this is your husband. Put your finnex in another room on another night stand and sleep in there for a few. Nothing gets to me like a cold and lonely bed. I would really start to give way if my Olelady done me that way fassssstttt. It gets me sleeping on a 65 ft boat for 5 nights sometimes now( when i can stay in bunk from getting threw around) It's getting rough out this time of year. or get you a whip and tie him up get your point across. Gezz i hate fuzzin It should not matter who makes the most$$ it goes to both of yaws nasessaties (spelled wrong)house, bills list goes on.

czieler · Jan 13, 2007

It's not just men....

My gf and I went through the same thing.... it still bothers her sometimes. I make quite a bit more money at my job ( I'm a software developer ).

I basically sat her down and told her that we needed to talk about it.... told her that she needed to get over her 'ego' issue with the the money situation.... that the money is 'our' money and that it doesn't matter who makes it.

I also did what you said you did...and let her know that we are not together for her paycheck... quite frankly... her paycheck is our extra money..mine covers all of our bills... and that she should be happy that if she doesn't like her job...she can quit and find another one w/out having to worry about it so much.

We went through these issues for a while... one thing that did help...was to put her in charge of the finances (paying bills etc)...as when I was doing them..she thought that I was trying to keep track of what she did with money..rather than just keeping track of things in general. That made her feel more like she had her freedom to spend money on what she wanted...and not have to tell me about it.

Zeppelin · Jan 13, 2007

I'd say it sounds like he may just be a little intimidated by your success. He may not be really thrilled with his job (or may be bored with it), while youre all excited about a new career. Might feel like you may think the new career is as important, or more so, than he is. I'd bet as long as you keep an eye out to make sure the new career doesn't encroach on your relationship too much, he'll get over it quick. Of course, a new piece of lingerie that doesn't last long on will do wonders too! ;)

bryan · Jan 13, 2007

yeah! what Larry said :)

jessiesgrrl · Jan 13, 2007

Zeppelin said:
He may not be really thrilled with his job (or may be bored with it), while youre all excited about a new career.

Might feel like you may think the new career is as important, or more so, than he is.

Of course, a new piece of lingerie that doesn't last long on will do wonders too! ;)

lol, I read that and walked into the other room and asked him about work and he's still talking to me about it from the kitchen... <grin> Thanks everyone, Larry esp...! I forgot how to redirect a man.. omg, worked wonders.. I may actually enjoy my Sat!!! BTW, he says thank you because we are gonna drop by the mall which convieniently houses said lingerie store... His favorite place. IMO, doesn't much matter if I wear it, as long as he gets to wander around the store picturing me wearing to pick out the one he wants... I wish he'd figure that out too, because it would save $$ in the long run!!

LOL
Laurie

gflat65 · Jan 13, 2007

That's an excellent redirection. Our minds have some control, but none when it comes to seeing the one we love in various scant pieces of clothing (the imagination is a wonderful thing:D). It is somethign you'll need to discuss at least once to get it out in the open. Then, just try to minimize or change the direction of the conversaation if it comes up again. I agree with Larry. He is likely not completely happy with his job right now or some other issue is eatign him up. In this society (and most others likely being worse), it can be difficult for men to adjust to their wife/significant other making more (historically, it has been engrained that we are supposed to be the bread winners, right or not). Times are changing and he'll soon forget about it in those terms and start to see the added potential with more money coming in, regardless of who is bringing it in. I for one would love to be a hous ehusnband ajnd have told my wife on numerous occasions that I will become one as soon as she consistenly makes more than me (you can make more in the business world than being a lowly engineer-we just get kicked around and beated for low wages because they can-poor us;)). Redirection, especially in the form mentioned above will work wonder to cool the fire that you don't want burning and fuel the fire you do. No offense intended (don't want to get too personal, you know), but I can't see him ever turning a blind eye to you in redirect mode;). Women have a powerful tool. When lvoe enters the picture, it's all over. We might buck from time to time to get a rise, but in the end, we are pretty submissive-even those who proclaim to be hardasses. I'm sure all will be fine/forgotten in less than a few weeks and life will only get better:).

vetteman · Jan 18, 2007

I like money, zoa's and redheads.......wink wink

Chelsey · Jan 18, 2007

This might just be a one in a million guy thing, but my s/o does not seem to mind that if all goes according to plan I will make more than he does. I do not care either, in marriage it's a joint situation, you're "stuck" with both incomes (not a bad thing) and you'll be sharing, so regardless of which gender makes more it'll still be your money :)