My wife moved my tank...

[Fishy888]

Your restraint is admirable. It would have devastated me if this happened to me, but like you said she didn’t know. I would have been more upset if she got hurt moving it, like if the glass broke and cut her hand or something.

It’s definitely NOT divorce material or even close to it and I’m glad you recognize that, Even if she doesn’t show it I guarantee she feels really bad about it. You’ve most likely earned more than a few cool points with her by not flying off the handle though. Soooo what are you waiting for? Go get that 6 footer….

Seriously though I’m glad you aren’t giving up. In July I had my 90 gallon cube crack at the bottom. That was gut wrenching. Thankfully I was able to save mostly everything. I ended up with a 75 gallon tank, then not long after my 210. The 75 is now the sump/fuge for the 210. Things happen for a reason.

 

[Townes_Van_Camp]

This sounds like an unmitigated disaster. So sorry you’re going through this.

And honestly, 95% of you commenting are like way better people than I am. Like you’re really making me think this over.

Ok, I thought about it. I choose the tank.

Not a disaster. Just moved everything to a safe space while I get a new tank and stand in order. Life will move on and I'll find pleasure in this new one. Just not today.

 

[Townes_Van_Camp]

Like, your bath tub?

Food safe plastic storage tub.

 

[Townes_Van_Camp]

Your restraint is admirable. It would have devastated me if this happened to me, but like you said she didn’t know. I would have been more upset if she got hurt moving it, like if the glass broke and cut her hand or something.

It’s definitely NOT divorce material or even close to it and I’m glad you recognize that, Even if she doesn’t show it I guarantee she feels really bad about it. You’ve most likely earned more than a few cool points with her by not flying off the handle though. Soooo what are you waiting for? Go get that 6 footer….

Seriously though I’m glad you aren’t giving up. In July I had my 90 gallon cube crack at the bottom. That was gut wrenching. Thankfully I was able to save mostly everything. I ended up with a 75 gallon tank, then not long after my 210. The 75 is now the sump/fuge for the 210. Things happen for a reason.

She gets it 100%. As to the wait, I already ordered her (the clown)a new nano and started the stand.

The one I'm really waiting on is a 3ft cube. But that has to wait until I knock down a wall this spring. I need to open up some floor space.

 

[QuickrdenU]

You were so close! "grit through it like men are supposed to" is also an example of toxic masculinity. His feelings are valid (frustration, disappointment, even anger). The important parts are communication, empathy, and understanding. Something that a lot of the folks making divorce jokes (or not jokes) in the thread don't seem to have or know how to demonstrate. My wife would be mortified if this happened to her and I would absolutely find myself expressing my disappointment while also managing to reassure that we're all good.

Silly rant but I see a lot of "boomer humor" style jokes on here and it's incredibly tiring.

I’m a big fan of what you call “toxic” masculinity and so is my wife and literally every woman I have ever known so we’ll have to agree to disagree. We that have it take care of people we love and we take care of anything when things need taken care of. We are leaders. The lack of “toxic” masculinity IMO is what is ruining our world right now. I see a bunch of Jezebel’s controlling their Ahab/beta husbands and men currently on avg have 50% less testosterone than the boomers did. SOFT is very rarely a good thing…

My post did not say that men should never cry or be emotional. We most definitely should not have hardened hearts. In fact, my post shows the empathy I have for this dude’s wife and their relationship. Of course she will inevitably know that she did something wrong and feel terribly sorry for her actions when there is water all over the floor… but I personally wouldn’t want to rub her face in it and let it take away from whatever successes she thought she had accomplished on that day. No tank is worth a fight with someone that you share a bed with and count on for… well. you probably get my point.

Rant over. Just my perspective friends.

 

[Reefer911]

I’m a big fan of what you call “toxic” masculinity and so is my wife and literally every woman I have ever known so we’ll have to agree to disagree. We that have it take care of people we love and we take care of anything when things need taken care of. We are leaders. The lack of “toxic” masculinity IMO is what is ruining our world right now. I see a bunch of Jezebel’s controlling their Ahab/beta husbands and men currently on avg have 50% less testosterone than the boomers did. SOFT is very rarely a good thing…

My post did not say that men should never cry or be emotional. We most definitely should not have hardened hearts. In fact, my post shows the empathy I have for this dude’s wife and their relationship. Of course she will inevitably know that she did something wrong and feel terribly sorry for her actions when there is water all over the floor… but I personally wouldn’t want to rub her face in it and let it take away from whatever successes she thought she had accomplished on that day. No tank is worth a fight with someone that you share a bed with and count on for… well. you probably get my point.

Rant over. Just my perspective friends.

Any masculinity is toxic to the beta hair bun “guys” these days.

 

[CubsFan]

I’m a big fan of what you call “toxic” masculinity and so is my wife and literally every woman I have ever known so we’ll have to agree to disagree. We that have it take care of people we love and we take care of anything when things need taken care of. We are leaders. The lack of “toxic” masculinity IMO is what is ruining our world right now. I see a bunch of Jezebel’s controlling their Ahab/beta husbands and men currently on avg have 50% less testosterone than the boomers did. SOFT is very rarely a good thing…

My post did not say that men should never cry or be emotional. We most definitely should not have hardened hearts. In fact, my post shows the empathy I have for this dude’s wife and their relationship. Of course she will inevitably know that she did something wrong and feel terribly sorry for her actions when there is water all over the floor… but I personally wouldn’t want to rub her face in it and let it take away from whatever successes she thought she had accomplished on that day. No tank is worth a fight with someone that you share a bed with and count on for… well. you probably get my point.

Rant over. Just my perspective friends.

I like how crazy the first paragraph was and how you try and cool it down with the second one. I’m going to keep watching.

 

[robotrash]

Any masculinity is toxic to the beta hair bun “guys” these days.

I think you're confusing masculinity with being a loud-mouthed, abrasive coward. True masculinity is empathy and support, you know, being a human being capable of critical thought and self awareness. I know not everyone can muster that kind of energy though, it takes a lot of self reflection.

Lead poison is a heck of a drug.

I knew the constant climate denial posts on this forum were a red flag, yeesh.

 

[randomfishdude]

See this is why it's a good idea to stay single.

 

[CubsFan]

I think you're confusing masculinity with being a loud-mouthed, abrasive coward. True masculinity is empathy and support, you know, being a human being capable of critical thought and self awareness. I know not everyone can muster that kind of energy though, it takes a lot of self reflection.

Lead poison is a heck of a drug.

I knew the constant climate denial posts on this forum were a red flag, yeesh.

I hear you. I don’t think some of these jokes are meant to set things off. They’re just “take my wife. Please!!!” Jokes. It’s old school and doesn’t hit for everyone. I’d let it go and keep watching.

 

[robotrash]

I hear you. I don’t think some of these jokes are meant to set things off. They’re just “take my wife. Please!!!” Jokes. It’s old school and doesn’t hit for everyone. I’d let it go and keep watching.

I appreciate you. Trying not to lose the only site I visit with regularity after breaking free from Reddit and all other socials. I just wanna look at pics of fish, I should've stayed out of it.

 

[jimfish98]

One year on a work trip my father in law decided to "help me" clean a portion of my koi pond filter while I was out of town. He called me in a panic as it wasn't turning back on while I was about 700 miles away and couldn't get home to fix it. Gave the best directions I could and he said it was fixed. I came home two days later to three dead koi in that same filter as he forgot to adjust something. Never asked him to touch the system and I was ticked and ready to chew him out. Had to take a good day or two before I told him what happened and it was good as things simmered down in my head. He meant no harm, had no intention of doing damage, etc.....

I feel your situation and know that anger you have to hold back. Breath, relax, take it one step at a time and move forward with some new ground rules of course. Things can get better.

 

[CubsFan]

I appreciate you. Trying not to lose the only site I visit with regularity after breaking free from Reddit and all other socials. I just wanna look at pics of fish, I should've stayed out of it.

No reason to stay out. Drop some notice. Just don’t take it too seriously. You’re spot on about the climate stuff. Too much good info here to let that stuff get you down. It’s a small percentage of kook stuff.

 

[Townes_Van_Camp]

It's a build thread now.

I've decided that it's for my clown only. I want a bedside nano. I also don't want to lose my night stand. That means I get to build some furniture. I will be doing something wonky. I'm thinking a 23" tall stand 3/4 maple, with a floating leaf as a night stand. Since every mid century room needs a piece with bright color. I'm gonna hit the cabinet with a rusty orange oil base, loud and bright. The leaf will be left natural teak with a thick coat of some high gloss poly buffed out extra shiny. I also have some original from 1963 chrome cabinet door pulls from my home that I'll use to keep the piece Mid century modern.

Equipment:
All the stuff from the 14g peninsula. I don't remember what all it is.

Stock:
Clown fish.

Mixed reef of all the stuff from the blown out tank. Not sure if I wanna stuff this thing with coral right away or grow it out new.

Whatever inverts I have will move.

I'm going to do an IM 15 cube. Follow along here to watch me make mistakes every step of the way.

 

[Reefer911]

Put coasters on that stand! Lol

 

[Townes_Van_Camp]

Put coasters on that stand! Lol

I am highly considering a set of ball bearing casters. However, I feel that casters would be "implied permission" to move my tank at will.

 

[randomfishdude]

I am highly considering a set of ball bearing casters. However, I feel that casters would be "implied permission" to move my tank at will.

Just put them there secretly or something.

 

[DPScoral]

Nah if that was me and she moved my fish tank without telling me I would divorce her on the spot. It crazy how some people have the nerve to do that. Sorry about what she did to you.

 

[LMSquire]

Not a disaster. Just moved everything to a safe space while I get a new tank and stand in order. Life will move on and I'll find pleasure in this new one. Just not today.

Way to stay positive…and I like the new tank talk! Can’t wait to see what that 3 cube looks like, one of those tanks I’ve always really admired!

 

[Reefer911]

I am highly considering a set of ball bearing casters. However, I feel that casters would be "implied permission" to move my tank at will.

Yeah, casters…not sure why I was thinking coasters haha