tell me a good joke

[mfinn]

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast
of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. He said to the
female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out
of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the
ship to turn over and sink.

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and
quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors
had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of
shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away
and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up
before they reach the shore."

At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant
to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow
job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

 

[Leishman]

Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.......[FONT=Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]As they walk, they come across a sign:
"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
[/FONT][FONT=Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd you do?"
" First Place !," said Snow White.
[/FONT][FONT=Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]They continue walking and they see a sign:
"Contest for the strongest man in the world."
[/FONT][FONT=Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
" First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"
[/FONT][FONT=Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]They continue walking when they see a sign:
"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
"I'm entering," says Pinocchio. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.[/FONT]

 

[jerryc]

HA HA Leishman GOOOOOD one ha ha

 

[Bloop]

A funeral director had just finished embalming Paul Erickson. He was expecting Paul’s mother and wife to arrive at any minute to deliver Paul’s suit and to inspect his handiwork.

Just as they arrived, the director realized the Paul was “tenting.” Not wanting to leave the family with such a vulgar memory, he quickly whacked it off with a scalpel and stuffed it in his pocket just as the family entered the room.

When the director came home, he set his keys, change and “it” on the counter. The director flushes with embarrassment. His wife stares for a moment and says, “You didn’t tell me Paul Erickson died.”

 

[Paul_N]

What do you call cheese that is not yours?




















nacho cheese....:xd:

 

[akabryanhall]

Epic...Grave....Dig;)
One evening a man was eating peanuts by throwing them in the air and catching them in his mouth. As he threw one in the air, his wife asked him a question. When the man turned his head, the peanut fell in his ear. He tried to get it out, but his fingers were to big. His wife tried to get the peanut out with a pair of tweezers, but just pushed it in farther. They finally decided to go to the hospital.
As they were about to leave, their daughter and her date came home. They told them their situation and theirs daughters date said he could get it out for him. The daughters date put his two fingers in her fathers nose and told him to blow real hard. It worked and the peanut fell out. The daughter and her date went up stairs and the man and his wife talked about how smart the boy was in coming up with that idea.
The man's wife asked, "I wonder what he's going to be when he grows up."
The man says, "From the smell of his fingers, he's going to be our son-in-law".

 

[mfinn]

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up'"?