Women in Reefing

[Sebastiancrab]

Heck yeah women in reefing!
My mother is 68 y/o and she has a 40gal mixed reef that’s amazing. She goes to frag swaps, RAP, and whatever else is coming to town.
Love the lady reefers!

I am not too far

From my time in the hobby ('93) I have noticed that typically men do talk down to us. Someone else in this thread mentioned how when repair/maintenance/etc. people come to her home, they automatically think the tank is her husbands. I have noticed the same thing when my husband and I go to LFS. They gravitate to my husband and I am left standing on the sidelines...when I am the one that knows all of the tanks params, did the last set of maintenance, knows all of the corals by their scientific names, etc. My husband knows from me doing the work in front of him and keeping him in the loop. He knows the tank, but I am the one more in tune with it. And that's okay.

I also notice this at expos (or back in the old days when they were actual swaps) vendors want to talk to my husband instead of me. I get the token "hello" but they want to have an actual discussion with him. Meanwhile, I have all the cash and know exactly what I want when I pursue their set up. And, I am sorry to say, but I can typically tell before I even walk up to the vendor how they are going to treat me (eye contact, smile, etc.).

I know it's harder here on the 'web', but my suggestion to men when you come in contact with a woman, do the same as you would with a man. Make eye contact, smile, be engaging, and helpful. Don't talk to us as if we are children. And as always, the nicer you are to me and treat me with respect, the more $$ I am going to drop on you.

PS: If you're REALLY nice and respectful and buy that lady reefer a beer or cocktail during/after that interaction, the more likely you are to find a girlfriend or wife in the hobby. That's how my husband got me! LOL!

I have been buying for 4 years at my large LFS and am getting into SW now. I am happy to report that all the (mostly) men have never talked down to me. They are mainly on the younger side. Maybe it won't be that much longer before we have more women managers. Women are now managing Valvoline oil shops!

 

[Sebastiancrab]

My husband thinks the exact opposite. He sees me with my tank and can't imagine why men would do this hobby. He is totally baffled that it is male dominant. Haha

Did you see on the BRS raffle this week where the guys said their customers are 90% men? I have talked to a couple of managers in the retail industry about why it is predominantly men. Here are their thoughts a) it gives men an outlet to create something beautiful and colorful and b) with all the equipment and setup it is fun to do, like building, working on a car etc.
As a woman who has never dealt with this much plumbing nor building a table from scratch, it is going to be something to tackle. I may attempt it myself particularly once I get my donated tablesaw!

 

[Sebastiancrab]

I’ve always had a love for all animals. As a kid in the later 1950’s and through the 1960’s I kept everything from goldfish, turtles, dogs, cats, mice...anything I could manage to get into the house. Freshwater tanks and fish costs were within a range that my allowance would cover.
Saltwater was not an option where we live in the middle of the the Great Plains until recent years. It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I got into reefing with a 29 gallon BioCube and 2 years ago upgraded to a Red Sea peninsula 650. My daughter started with a 75 about 15+ years ago and now keeps a 480 gallon in her office. Neither of us had the remotest idea that this was a male dominated hobby until a visit to a LFS in another town and being asked what man helped us with our tanks. It is nice to see other women in the hobby.
Our winters can run from sometime in October through most of April and reefing is really an engaging indoor hobby When it’s -20. Our town has no LFS and the closest one is 3 to 5 hours away. There is no club of any sort ( just the two of us so you could say we’re female dominated!) All of the livestock and equipment we have must be ordered, mostly from online suppliers. Being able to see your choices of online livestock vendors in particular is very helpful.
I am thankful to all of you—both men and women—at REEF2REEF for the input and exchange of valuable information has helped us greatly. Without such we would not be doing nearly as well. This is a challenging endeavor for sure and at 67 years old, I like being pressed a bit to do something well and learn something new.
Thanks again to everyone who takes the time to help all the rest of us!

I am 62 and just getting into SW after 4 years in FW. I used to breed guppies and mice when I was a young girl and sell them to the LFS. What memories! Seeing the Glofish in Petco several years ago did it. I could not resist getting them.

 

[Chrisfish]

Hey there, another female reefer, I have always loved fish , starting out with fresh water tanks. 5 years ago I finally took the plunge into saltwater and have been hooked ever since. Long story short I’m going from a 20 gal peninsula to a 25 gal. Lagoon and as I just told my husband I fill it’s a privilege to care for these awesome creatures and care for them just as much as I do my pups. I love this thread , I will say that my LFS guys are awesome, have never made me fill less then them and have always been helpful. But I will say because my name is Chris it’s just assumed I’m a DUDE

 

[Cristy17]

I've been in the hobby since I was 15 (32 now) and still have my first clownfish. I've just been obsessed with all animals since an early age, and when I accidentally brought home a hermit crab from the beach, I started my first tank to save him with the help of some amazing stores in my hometown. Since then I've worked several years at the same LFS that helped me save my crab, and after a break and buying a house, I'm back in full force. Hoping to purchase my first large tank this year, even though I adore my nano tanks. Currently doing some sidework as the photographer for my LFS and running their website and social media. I'm a full time self employed jeweler as a real job, but I really enjoy having the ability to barter my photo skills for corals!

I've actually not seen much discrimination at stores in the this hobby. One store is on my never-gonna-spend-a-cent-with-them list (WWC) after several trips and just plain rude service. I can only assume its because I'm a woman. Online, especially on this forum, I do see plenty of misogyny and sexism. I think men come on here and think its totally fine to talk like that because they assume everyone here is male. It would be nice to see the moderators take more of a stance on it.

I am sorry you have had this experience with WWC. It sounds foreign to me.WWC staff have been nothing but super attentive, engaging, and polite, both in the store and at the shows. I have spent plenty of money buying some of their corals and maybe that has something to do with it. They even give me deals if I buy several corals. Care tips are also freely discussed.

 

[Cristy17]

Ok, I'll play! Hello fellow lady reefers! My uncle gave me a 60 gallon Clarity Plus flat back tank in 1989 and there it began! It was a salt fish only with dead coral which you would bleach to clean the algae off once a month or so. I stayed with that tank until Feb. 22, 1997, when the then metal ballast to the light rusted from salt creep, caught fire, melted the entire acrylic tank, caught the drywall, carpet and near by furniture on fire. Basically trashed my house from smoke. That was enough for me to get out of the hobby until 2004 when a friend showed me his reef tank. Wow, the hobby had come a long way! Successfully keeping corals...no way!!! I bought myself at 29 cube, which taught me a lot about water changes! I then upgraded to a 57 around 2013 which I had in Maryland. When I moved to Florida in 2017 & 18, I brought the inners of the tank and the occupants (see my reef build thread) and put it in a 75 gallon I had brought down a few months before and cycled. I built my own stand, hired someone to plumb the tank for the first time and build the cabinetry around the tank. Everything else I have done myself from adding equipment, changing equipment, building a water station, adding a manifold, etc..I have loved every single part of it! Just forced me to learn to do stuff myself. With that said, I have never felt intimidated or discriminated by any staff at LFS or at the shows. The men I have meant in the hobby have been super embracing and have helped me by telling me their experiences and giving me ideas. This forum for one has been a HUGE help and I thank all the members, male or female! First pic 57, second 75...future....150?

 

[Sebastiancrab]

Hey there, another female reefer, I have always loved fish , starting out with fresh water tanks. 5 years ago I finally took the plunge into saltwater and have been hooked ever since. Long story short I’m going from a 20 gal peninsula to a 25 gal. Lagoon and as I just told my husband I fill it’s a privilege to care for these awesome creatures and care for them just as much as I do my pups. I love this thread , I will say that my LFS guys are awesome, have never made me fill less then them and have always been helpful. But I will say because my name is Chris it’s just assumed I’m a DUDE

What will you have in your 25 gal?

 

[Chrisfish]

What will you have in your 25 gal?

I’ll be transferring the majority of my live rock, corals, inverts and fish. I would have loved to go bigger, but just don’t have the room.

 

[Leslie Tabor]

Did you see on the BRS raffle this week where the guys said their customers are 90% men? I have talked to a couple of managers in the retail industry about why it is predominantly men. Here are their thoughts a) it gives men an outlet to create something beautiful and colorful and b) with all the equipment and setup it is fun to do, like building, working on a car etc.
As a woman who has never dealt with this much plumbing nor building a table from scratch, it is going to be something to tackle. I may attempt it myself particularly once I get my donated tablesaw!

You go with your bad self! I did my first tank by myself with direction from my father on the plumbing (which turned out he was wrong so I youtubed it! Lol) He did build both stands and my light bar on this tank. We work well together. It is convenient as I live next door to them!

 

[reef lover]

Yet another woman here! Although most think I'm a dude as well....

 

[Sebastiancrab]

You go with your bad self! I did my first tank by myself with direction from my father on the plumbing (which turned out he was wrong so I youtubed it! Lol) He did build both stands and my light bar on this tank. We work well together. It is convenient as I live next door to them!

Do you have a template or anything else you could point me to to build a stand?

 

[Leslie Tabor]

Do you have a template or anything else you could point me to to build a stand?

I wish! My dad just kind of makes it up as we go. These things would survive nuclear bombs! I will see if I can find the pictures I showed him to get started.

 

[Cristy17]

Yet another woman here! Although most think I'm a dude as well....

Quite a few banners you have! That's great!

 

[JJ Ligs]

Sadly, I always thought keeping an aquarium is kind of like keeping pet snakes or pet tarantulas and such - they’re great hobbies for guys who’ve never kissed a woman before.

I take personal offense to that entire statement! I am sure my past pet scorpions and tarantulas Current three reefs and two snakes would say it as well. I am female and have kept these types of pets my whole life

 

[JJ Ligs]

Lady Aquarist here,
Been keeping FW specialty tanks since I was a kid. Currently have three SW tanks one fully mixed reef, one Softie and LPS dom and a reef that will be Nem dominate when I can get back to work. I was scared of Salt because of the fact that you can kill everything and it seemed so complicated and expensive. I started because I took over a very neglected Fish only SW tank from a neighbor because I felt so bad for the fish I had to try. Got hooked and have not looked back since. Also a victim of people thinking I am one of the bros lol

 

[Victor_C3]

I take personal offense to that entire statement! I am sure my past pet scorpions and tarantulas Current three reefs and two snakes would say it as well. I am female and have kept these types of pets my whole life

I’m not female but I’m obviously part of the very group I disparaged. This was my feeble attempt at self deprecating humor.

I’m sorry to have offended you, truly.

 

[JJ Ligs]

I’m not female but I’m obviously part of the very group I disparaged. This was my feeble attempt at self deprecating humor.

I’m sorry to have offended you, truly.

Wow dude just messing with you lol It takes a lot more to upset me! No worries

 

[JJ Ligs]

Wow dude just messing with you lol It takes a lot more to upset me! No worries

Sorry to upset you

 

[JJ Ligs]

Sorry to upset you

But I did date the guys who kept those animals if it makes you feel better

 

[Victor_C3]

But I did date the guys who kept those animals if it makes you feel better

I’m 40 and recently divorced. Maybe the fish had something to do with it...

It probably had more to do with her finding a new boyfriend - who didn’t keep any of those pets!

Seriously though, tone is tough to measure when reading text. No worries. I’m just trying not to ruffle anyone up the wrong way