- Joined
- Jul 21, 2017
- Messages
- 50
- Reaction score
- 22
I’m an AP. My best suggestions are to join the FB group Parenting with Connection. Read The Whole Brain Child, Love Me Feed Me, and The Connected Child. There are a lot of Karyn Purvis videos available on YouTube (highly recommended).
The safety recommendations you’re learning about through your homestudy process are actually a minimum standard. Regardless of age at time of adoption, losing ones first family is horrifically traumatic. Being adopted adds another layer of trauma (it closes the door to the dream of having a happily ever after where the child first belonged & deserved to have an amazing childhood).
The best advice that was given to me was this: realize you are not & never were your adopted child’s plan A, B, C, or D. Plan A was a happily ever after with their first family, plan B would be biological relatives, plan C would be a close family friend, plan D would be beautiful/wealthy/fun celebrity or royal adoptive parents. You are likely causing your new child to lose friends, change trusted teachers, & leave a familiar neighborhood. You may be causing your child to leave their culture and miss out on growing up understanding their own culture.
The safety recommendations you’re learning about through your homestudy process are actually a minimum standard. Regardless of age at time of adoption, losing ones first family is horrifically traumatic. Being adopted adds another layer of trauma (it closes the door to the dream of having a happily ever after where the child first belonged & deserved to have an amazing childhood).
The best advice that was given to me was this: realize you are not & never were your adopted child’s plan A, B, C, or D. Plan A was a happily ever after with their first family, plan B would be biological relatives, plan C would be a close family friend, plan D would be beautiful/wealthy/fun celebrity or royal adoptive parents. You are likely causing your new child to lose friends, change trusted teachers, & leave a familiar neighborhood. You may be causing your child to leave their culture and miss out on growing up understanding their own culture.