Barely keeping it together...

[ahiggins]

I lost my grandfather last weekend to a very short battle with dementia. From forgetting things here and there to the end was only 3 weeks.
I’m at a loss right now on how to keep dealing with the crap life is throwing my way. I should be focusing on what I’m thankful for and what’s good in my life but at any moment I’m on the verge of breaking down.
Christmas is my favorite holiday but I can’t bring myself to celebrate. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the holidays.
I just needed to get it off my chest, I don’t really have a support system near me (I moved a few hours away from all of my family for work).
I hope everyone hugs their loved ones extra today-you never know when it’s going to be their time to go.

 

[CoralWealth]

Really sorry to hear that. Saying a prayer for you and your family. Celebrate as much as possible!

 

[Crabs McJones]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my grandfather to dementia as well back in 2012. We were pretty close. And then almost exactly a year later my grandma passed from congestive heart failure. It's hard and I feel your pain. But were here for you. Support system doesnt have to live close by ;)

 

[Phil D.]

Remember, Christmas was a new beginning for mankind. I'm sure your Grandfather is seated at the table with Christ. I lost my Dad in 1998 suddenly and then my Mom 5 years later. I know what you are going through and hope you will be strong n these times. We all have friends to support us.

 

[WVNed]

I have lost my grandparents, my parents and my brother. You are supposed to feel the way you are, It's grieving. Only time helps. Eventually the good memories overcome the pain of the loss.

You have my prayers for peace.

 

[Fishy212]

I am sorry to hear about your loss. Everyone goes through this eventually no matter how strong you are. Just know that you did everything you could for him and I am sure he appreciated that. Hold your head up high as he would not want you to be down. That is not how people want to be remembered, you should be happy and proud about the life he lived. They want you to remember and relive all those positive experiences and life lessons with a smile. “Insert dad joke here”

 

[raketemensch]

I’ve been through what you’re going through, and it was rough. On his last night (also 2 days before Christmas) my grandfather was lucid enough to know who I was, but out of it enough to think that I was keeping him tied to his bed for the ***** (he spent 6 years fighting in Europe during WWII). His hands were restrained because he kept trying to pull out his IV and escape.

It was honestly the darkest night of my life. It was also in the middle of some other insanely difficult stuff, but I made it through and life is good. Most importantly, I can now look back on it and think that it was a good thing overall, because at least he knew that family was there, and it was about him, not about me.

I’m sure you did your best to help him through this, and that’s what matters. Remember that you were there for him, and that you’re a good person.

 

[Uncledazza]

Im very sorry for your loss. I lost my Father in September on his 51st wedding anniversay to colon caner. Its tough seeing the people you love deteriorate. Remember the good times. There is a huge community here that will always reach out to you when you need, but please also reach out for help locally or call soemone if youre feeling at a loss. It can seem very dark at times but there is always someone to talk to and it will make you feel better. Never be ashamed to ask for help! It will get better/easier with time.

 

[Lytehouse]

very sad about your grandfather and the timing.
lost my dad to parkinsons & dimentia then my mom 6 months later.
It's ok to not avoid hurting for him. slip away from everyone and miss him and talk to him. After a bit, try to drift to the good memories and the things you learned from him. If you are grateful today, it's that he's not hurting.
Lastly, ask yourself-- if he was sitting across from you, what would he be saying to you about what to do next.

praying for you and your family.

 

[Skynyrd Fish]

Sorry for your loss. It’s not easy. I lost My grandma on Christmas Day. However she wanted us to celebrate and grow and prosper. It’s what you have to do. It’s what your grandpa would want. He’s also in a better place, not suffering from the disease. I know that doesn’t make it easier. Merry Christmas and god bless.

 

[Terri Caton]

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.

My dad is gone but not dead. Alzheimer’s. He’s just a body that eats. Been dealing with this for 10 years.

So cruel for everyone.

 

[Paulie069]

I lost my grandfather last weekend to a very short battle with dementia. From forgetting things here and there to the end was only 3 weeks.
I’m at a loss right now on how to keep dealing with the crap life is throwing my way. I should be focusing on what I’m thankful for and what’s good in my life but at any moment I’m on the verge of breaking down.
Christmas is my favorite holiday but I can’t bring myself to celebrate. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the holidays.
I just needed to get it off my chest, I don’t really have a support system near me (I moved a few hours away from all of my family for work).
I hope everyone hugs their loved ones extra today-you never know when it’s going to be their time to go.

Omg my heart goes out to you what a terrible thing to happen during holiday season but seems to be a huge support system here on R2R. I’m sure there are lots of people on this site that are there to listen. Better to get it out than hold it in that’s where it will eat away at you. My thoughts n prayers for you at your time of need

 

[Jeeperz]

Loss is tough. That's why I don't really get too close to people. In 3 years I lost my dad, my grandma, and my favorite uncle. I'm not over any of it and it was 7 years ago I lost my dad, to the same cancer that took his mom a year earlier. I was extremely close to both. I know it's doesn't mean much but I lost my cat of 18 years last year just before Thanksgiving. It was her favorite day of the year. I was, and still am, devastated by that loss. Was the last real connection to my grandma. I lived with her for my senior year of high school, when I picked her up from the humane society in Wisconsin. She moved back to Oregon with me.

I'd like to say time heals, it doesn't. You just move on and keep going.

 

[ahiggins]

I really appreciate the support, it’s been a heck of a week with trying to arrange all of the “after” things. I can’t believe how many of you replied so quickly or at all lol so thank you.

 

[Billdogg]

I have lost my grandparents, my parents and my brother. You are supposed to feel the way you are, It's grieving. Only time helps. Eventually the good memories overcome the pain of the loss.

You have my prayers for peace.

When my dad passed, it was actually more of a blessing than it was a curse. His dementia had robbed him of who he was and all the memories he had.

I feel for your loss. I wish I could say that the pain will go away. It won't. It will only become a less frequent part of your life. I lost my first true love December 2, 1987 to complications from cancer. To this day I still cry when I think of her and what our life together was supposed to be. Even though I don't cry as often, it still hurts like it was yesterday.

 

[ahiggins]

I am thankful I didn’t have to go through the years of awful some of you have with your loved ones. At the end, he kept asking where he was and if where he lived, every 5 minutes. My grandma just told us to lie and say he was coming home after he got better so he wouldn’t cause a fuss. He kept asking if he was alone at night, because he was so scared of dying in his sleep. Not sure why, seems like the best option to me I think. That’s how it happened, the nurses said. At least he wasn’t in pain. This is really helping. I haven’t been able to talk about it without crying yet, but today I haven’t cried.

 

[bobonakamoto]

I lost my grandfather last weekend to a very short battle with dementia. From forgetting things here and there to the end was only 3 weeks.
I’m at a loss right now on how to keep dealing with the crap life is throwing my way. I should be focusing on what I’m thankful for and what’s good in my life but at any moment I’m on the verge of breaking down.
Christmas is my favorite holiday but I can’t bring myself to celebrate. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the holidays.
I just needed to get it off my chest, I don’t really have a support system near me (I moved a few hours away from all of my family for work).
I hope everyone hugs their loved ones extra today-you never know when it’s going to be their time to go.

Suffering is part of life, without suffering there is no life. Without death there won’t exist life.
In Buddhism, nothing is ever lost it just continues on in another form. I hope that brings a bit of comfort.

 

[Paulie069]

Suffering is part of life, without suffering there is no life. Without death there won’t exist life.
In Buddhism, nothing is ever lost it just continues on in another form. I hope that brings a bit of comfort.

You have to have pain to experience joy. How else would you tell the difference

 

[Fishingandreefing]

I lost my grandfather last weekend to a very short battle with dementia. From forgetting things here and there to the end was only 3 weeks.
I’m at a loss right now on how to keep dealing with the crap life is throwing my way. I should be focusing on what I’m thankful for and what’s good in my life but at any moment I’m on the verge of breaking down.
Christmas is my favorite holiday but I can’t bring myself to celebrate. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the holidays.
I just needed to get it off my chest, I don’t really have a support system near me (I moved a few hours away from all of my family for work).
I hope everyone hugs their loved ones extra today-you never know when it’s going to be their time to go.

stay strong and I am sorry that happened. Just want to show a little support. Whatever happens, talk to us I am pretty sure most of us will here for you.

 

[Flippers4pups]

@ahiggins, I'm so sorry for your loss.

As a man of faith in times like these, I've prayed that God gives us all strength to endure loss. I'm one to always say that we will see them again, with God's will.

We lost a family member two weeks ago. My sister in law's grandson, 7 years old to epilepsy and seizures. I truly understand what you are going through.

Heavenly father, give @ahiggins and family the strength and peace in their time of need. In your name, Amen.

Hang in there!