well i had three in my tank originally and two of them just paired off. i dont think their is a way to tell them apart. but the female i have is quite a bit bigger than the male.
mine all of a sudden just started breeding a while back and have already mated three times. right now the male has eggs all in his mouth. :) i havent successfully raised any of the babies because i think he spits out the babies and my other fish gobble them up. i would suggest though maybe doing a breeder net. and once the male has the eggs keep him in there and once he spits out the babies remove him from the breeder. you will prob. need to do some research on what to feed the babies, i think that is the difficult part.