Does your s/o support your reef?

[Indytraveler83]

Just wondering how many out there are reefing solo?

My significant other will feed flake food, and every now and then notice if something has gone catastrophically wrong (noticeable dead fish, spill, etc), but aside from that, couldn’t care about the hobby. I’ll try to show off new fish, but get an eye roll. Definitely doing this for myself!

What about you guys?

 

[Idoc]

Mine tolerates me... but that's with everything with and outside reefing, lol.

She will feed occasionally and check on the fish to make sure they are doing well when I'm out if town, though.

 

[tehmadreefer]

Mine says it's a waste of money. She will feed if i ask when I'm out of town and check the ato water level.

 

[12gallonsofhex]

My wife is really interested in the little reef. She is amazed at the chemistry and biology at work, and likes the relationship of some of the tank mates. She is not into it enough to have her own tank, but I am trying to get my daughter into reefing.

 

[WVNed]

Something between the two options in your poll.

 

[Indytraveler83]

Something between the two options in your poll.

Added another response.

 

[OutsideBrian]

My wife likes the show and tell, likes to look at it while she lets the dogs out back.
Luckily we still have separate bank accounts

 

[Indytraveler83]

Thanks so far! It’s really interesting to see the split.

Mine was interested at the very beginning, but when the level of work and the learning curve became obvious, the whole thing was out of mind. Now it’s just an annoyance that slips out of my mouth on occasion.

This whole pole was sort of inspired by the lecture I got for spending about $150 on supplies including medicine “that you don’t even need yet!”

I asked how I was supposed to properly quarantine a wrasse without it, and was told “by not buying one?”

Lol...

 

[WVNed]

She lets me spend the money to do it. Any help beyond that is rare. If I ask she helps. It works for us.

 

[Erica-Renee]

My Wife of 30 some years Bonnie got me Started with aquariums long ago when she first moved in with me at the age of 17 , She wanted a Aquarium,, We got it for her. Things kept dying SO i went into the pet store..... We now have marine, tropical and working on a Back yard pond.. YEPPERS Those who reef together Stay (BROKE) Together

 

[Hemmdog]

Thanks so far! It’s really interesting to see the split.

Mine was interested at the very beginning, but when the level of work and the learning curve became obvious, the whole thing was out of mind. Now it’s just an annoyance that slips out of my mouth on occasion.

This whole pole was sort of inspired by the lecture I got for spending about $150 on supplies including medicine “that you don’t even need yet!”

I asked how I was supposed to properly quarantine a wrasse without it, and was told “by not buying one?”

Lol...

+1. Mine started out very interested. Now she rarely even looks at the tanks. It sucks.
I was just saying yesterday “wow this montipora is getting huge”
My wife, “the what?”

I wish she knew things, it would give us another thing to talk about..

 

[Mariette]

The tank is mine. All decisions made are mine. All research is my responsibility. Cleaning, aquascape, qt, all mine. Husband helps w water changes and feeds them because I’m somehow allergic to the fish food. He cares because I care but he could do without it. works for me

 

[KorD]

My wife does not do anything to care for the tank. I do all the work, but she likes to pick out the critters and corals.
Somehow this works to my favor Because she does not ask price..lol

 

[DibsOnMcRibs]

It all changed when I let her pick out her first cichlid a decade ago.

Now she has her own IM dropoff 20 gallon. She even “let me” buy her about $200 worth of corals from @Legendary Corals two weeks ago

 

[Indytraveler83]

+1. I wish she knew things, it would give us another thing to talk about..

The tank is mine. All decisions made are mine.

I sorta flip flop between these two sentiments. On one hand, I wish we would talk about it and think it through together. It would make for a cool thing to bond over, and adventures to distant pet stores would be less lonely.

On the other hand, we did that on our first aquarium, and ended up with neon gravel and glow fish....

That tank has been converted to a heavily planted aquascape since the s/o lost interest.

 

[Mariette]

I sorta flip flop between these two sentiments. On one hand, I wish we would talk about it and think it through together. It would make for a cool thing to bond over, and adventures to distant pet stores would be less lonely.

On the other hand, we did that on our first aquarium, and ended up with neon gravel and glow fish....

That tank has been converted to a heavily planted aquascape since the s/o lost interest.

I feel your pain. I sent my husband w my 3 yr old to pick out a small tank and decorations as my son’s 1st tank (freshwater). They came back w a 5.5g, neon rocks, and some overpriced hideous decorations. My son and husband have both lost interest in it and it is now at least decent looking w a few small fish and real plants

 

[Flippers4pups]

I believe it's human nature for two to have different interests. Nothing wrong with that. As with any hobby, it takes on a level of acceptance on both parties. Reefing is no different.

Balance of family time, work and other responsibilities are first, hobby interests are second. No hobby should become more important than family.

Finding the time to do the hobby, especially when setting up a tank can be daunting. Planning a system with ease of maintenance will help. Having a set schedule on maintenance is key.

With all of that in mind, my family occasionally enjoys looking at the tank. My wife understands it's my interest and is okay with that. Understands when I spend money on it and knows I spend on us and our responsibilities first. She understands that I'm responsible with my spending. She will feed the tank when I can't and understands what to do if somethings wrong.

I wouldn't expect her to be as passionate about it as I am and that's okay.

 

[Irishman]

My wife is into it as much as I am. She remembers the names of Zoas and fish better than me. When I’m home I do the water changes and feed etc. She does feed them in the morning for me. When I was away from home a lot she would do water changes, I think the WC station helped because all she has to do is pump out water and pump new back in. She’ll turn on the RO unit to fill the top off barrel when it’s low. Couldn’t ask for a better person to get into this hobby with.

 

[Xam]

My wife is very supportive, and interested in the tank as long as there is no labor involved for her and I dont drone on too long about it.

I've gotten to where I recognize "the stare".

 

[nuke 208]

My wife just like to pick the fish and has an eye for the hardest to keep and not reef safe.