Good Morning.
So yesterday my wife tells me we have to go to a dermatologist for a skin check. She is very worried about skin for some reason like many people here worry about ich. :rolleyes:
So we go for this skin thing and the both of us go into this room together and are sitting there looking at the bad art on the wall. Then this tall blonde comes in and asks us to take our clothes off. I am thinking, Wow, this is getting interesting, but then she left with her clothes on. :confused-face:
My wife and I are sitting in the silly paper gowns that I doubt were designed by Tommy Hilfiger and in comes Doogie Howser. No really! this guy looked just like Doogie Howser and seem to be about 12.
A "Nurse" or assistant also came in. Not the tall blonde but she was very nice and seemed sterile with the goggles, gown, gloves and all that. I figured maybe she was going to check our skin on the inside maybe through an orifice or something. :confounded-face:
So my wife gets on the chair which raises her to this Doctors eye level which was about 3' from the floor and it flattens her out. He has a flashlight and is looking very closely at every pore. He may have been searching for velvet or uronema but didn't find any so his assistant put away the Coppersafe she was holding.
He did find something and said he was going to freeze it off so he shot it with this can of spray paint.
The rest of her was fine so they leave and tell me to get on the table.
When they come back I am sleeping but his assistant wakes me and says, It's my turn. I find this stupid as my skin is perfect and I should go on "Perfect Skin Monthly" magazine. :beaming-face-with-smiling-eyes:
So Dugie uses the flashlight on me and on the back of my arm finds this freckle that I am sure I was born with and says "OMG" this is a pre melanoma goma se yam. He needs to remove it and send it out for DNA or some other stupid test. Of course he does so he rips the thing off and gives it to his assistant who takes it in her double gloves hands with a face shield and Hazmat suit and puts it in a jar that she probably used to make her own frozen food for her lipstick tang.
Now Doogie continues to search my body and in the background I can hear that song, Your Body is a Wonderland".
He starts looking in my eyes. Then he gets closer to where his nose is right next to mine. I didn't know if I was supposed to kiss this guy or name my kids after him. He moves back and says again: "OMG" this looks like another thing I need to remove. I said, it is in my lower eyelid, just leave the thing along and go feed your fish.
He says, absolutely not, this needs to be removed. Now he takes this needle and pulls back my lower eyelid by holding my very long eyelashes.
"DON'T BLINK"! Yeah right, like that is gonna happen. He says are you allergic to anything? I said, Yes, "any kind of sharp thing near my eye". :anxious-face-with-sweat:
The assistant laughed but it was an evil laugh. Then he plunged this horrible thing into my eyelid and removed the freckle which I am sure everybody has but no one goes to Doogie to remove. Now I have to wait for the results of the biopsy but before he let us leave he gave me a bottle of Prizapro with instructions to pour this into my eye 3 times a day and once every time I peer into my fish tank at night with a flashlight. :confused-face:
I really hate to get my skin checked because now, at home, I have to wash off all these checks. :confounded-face:
