Help with a midlife crisis and pending doom.

SALTWATER FISH HIPPIE

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Man, I need to get some of these aquarium related companies like Tampa Bay Saltwater Live Rock or U. S. Live Rock, LLC to sponsor me. I know, I know, they all have the young, good looking, and well-spoken hobbyist who get over 100k views if they buy a single ich infested guppy. Well, what they don't have is a 53-year-old Hippie dude who is going through a midlife crisis and literally just splurged on a 5k Pro Clear Aquatic Systems aquarium to make 30 second TikTok videos, Well I am their guy! Hit me up to promote your products cause i am needing some stuff for my set up and if I spend another dime (all i have left) my wife is packing her bags....
list of items needed
Top lid for a big ole' rimless aquarium - so my wife's cats don't jump in, Again!
Some live sand to hopefully help me get this monster going - I can't afford to go to the beach and get my own
Some live rock wet and pink cause I won't be seeing anything else wet and pink in this house otherwise for a long time.
if your company or business has any of the above-mentioned items and would like some old casual hippie to review them in actual usage contact me. i can help you help me from having to get a lawyer or sleep in the garage.
thank you,
Shane Jones
12/31/2023
4:52am (i cant sleep)
Hope I live to see 2024
Happy New Year!
 
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man, i wish i knew how....
Pay close attention to what is trending and add your spin to it. Post frequently like 3-5 a day add whatever music is trending. I’m sure there’s Reddit posts on how to gain the system it’s pretty much full time job just to get tiny bit of “free” gear
 
Man, I need to get some of these aquarium related companies like Tampa Bay Saltwater Live Rock or U. S. Live Rock, LLC to sponsor me. I know, I know, they all have the young, good looking, and well-spoken hobbyist who get over 100k views if they buy a single ich infested guppy. Well, what they don't have is a 53-year-old Hippie dude who is going through a midlife crisis and literally just splurged on a 5k Pro Clear Aquatic Systems aquarium to make 30 second TikTok videos, Well I am their guy! Hit me up to promote your products cause i am needing some stuff for my set up and if I spend another dime (all i have left) my wife is packing her bags....
list of items needed
Top lid for a big ole' rimless aquarium - so my wife's cats don't jump in, Again!
Some live sand to hopefully help me get this monster going - I can't afford to go to the beach and get my own
Some live rock wet and pink cause I won't be seeing anything else wet and pink in this house otherwise for a long time.
if your company or business has any of the above-mentioned items and would like some old casual hippie to review them in actual usage contact me. i can help you help me from having to get a lawyer or sleep in the garage.
thank you,
Shane Jones
12/31/2023
4:52am (i cant sleep)
Hope I live to see 2024
Happy New Year!
kudos to your Humor. And an outstanding marketing projection statement, with an outstanding selection of “enviromental stewards”.
 
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I don't think he was working too hard at humor, but rather hoping somebody would actually send him free stuff...

Being honest, it is a shame that the vast majority of content creators pretty much do the same thing and instead of being honest reviewers and conveyors of valid information, are hacks and shills who's primary goals are likes, monetization and freebies. At last that is my two cents, like it or not.
 
I don't think he was working too hard at humor, but rather hoping somebody would actually send him free stuff...

Being honest, it is a shame that the vast majority of content creators pretty much do the same thing and instead of being honest reviewers and conveyors of valid information, are hacks and shills who's primary goals are likes, monetization and freebies. At last that is my two cents, like it or not.
I agree. Yet, it was hard hitting SATIRE.

Perhaps, tongue in cheek.
 
I don't think he was working too hard at humor, but rather hoping somebody would actually send him free stuff...

Being honest, it is a shame that the vast majority of content creators pretty much do the same thing and instead of being honest reviewers and conveyors of valid information, are hacks and shills who's primary goals are likes, monetization and freebies. At last that is my two cents, like or not.
Sorry you feel this way. It was a joke. Bro i got like 50 followers.. nobody giving this old man anything and i know that,
Happy New Year!
 
Sorry you feel this way. It was a joke. Bro i got like 50 followers.. nobody giving this old man anything and i know that,
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year - and (honestly) good luck with your venture. Honest unbiased reviews are much needed in the space.
 

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