Just joined

HoldensReef · Apr 14, 2021

Hello there all!
Just started saltwater almost a month ago. I’ve always wanted a saltwater aquarium... but never SERIOUSLY started looking into it until my fiancé and I lost our son at 21 weeks of me being pregnant.
Something SCREAMED inside me to get a saltwater tank to memorialize him. The fish themselves aren’t a memorial towards him (thank goodness, I’d probably have a meltdown if one died, which is bound to happen I feel like). But rather the environment.
I’ve been reading a lot on this website so I felt it was time to just make an account!

Billldg · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R!!!

I am so sorry for your loss.

busybits · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R! Very sorry about your loss and I know the environment that you create will be amazing! Thank you for sharing!

Fish Think Pink · Apr 14, 2021

HoldensReef said:
Hello there all!
Just started saltwater almost a month ago. I’ve always wanted a saltwater aquarium... but never SERIOUSLY started looking into it until my fiancé and I lost our son at 21 weeks of me being pregnant.
Something SCREAMED inside me to get a saltwater tank to memorialize him. The fish themselves aren’t a memorial towards him (thank goodness, I’d probably have a meltdown if one died, which is bound to happen I feel like). But rather the environment.
I’ve been reading a lot on this website so I felt it was time to just make an account!

Welcome!

Sorry for your loss. Glad its the environment that you're using to memorialize him. This hobby is a great one for families should you be ready to expand your human family in the future. In the meantime, your reefer family (your tank & us) are here for you! Glad you joined!

MERKEY · Apr 14, 2021

Hello and welcome to R2R!

Salty Rambler · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R! A memorial sounds perfect -- can't wait to see what you build once the tank finishes cycling.

Jekyl · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R!

WIReefer · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R!!!

MNFish · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R!

harley32907 · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R!

Weasel1960 · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R. So sorry for your loss, my wife and I lost a daughter during a pregnancy as well.

What a wonderful way to memorialize your son though. You sound like a determined person so I am confident you will take your time, do it right, and have a wonderful tank.

I recommend the many Bulk Reef Supply videos on the hobby. Tidal Gardens has great YouTube videos on corals. And LiveAquaria does a good job of describing different livestock, their needs and compatibilities.

I hope you do a build thread so we can see the progress of your build.

Gtinnel · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to R2R. Im sorry for your loss, my wife and I lost a child during pregnancy several years back as well.

CMMorgan · Apr 14, 2021

HoldensReef said:
Hello there all!
Just started saltwater almost a month ago. I’ve always wanted a saltwater aquarium... but never SERIOUSLY started looking into it until my fiancé and I lost our son at 21 weeks of me being pregnant.
Something SCREAMED inside me to get a saltwater tank to memorialize him. The fish themselves aren’t a memorial towards him (thank goodness, I’d probably have a meltdown if one died, which is bound to happen I feel like). But rather the environment.
I’ve been reading a lot on this website so I felt it was time to just make an account!

Sweetie... I am sending you hugs, prayers and warm thoughts. You just snapped me back. I lost a son the same way - 24 weeks. In my day, you were not supposed to talk about it - just move on like it did not happen. It sucked. I applaud you for finding a healthy way to process your loss and channel that into something healthy. Your feelings are very real ... acknowledging them and allowing yourself to remember him is a good thing. It's OK to cry. It's OK to scream. It's also OK to feel joy. God bless you and may he hold Holden in his care until you meet.
If you ever need someone to vent to... I'm here.
Michelle

Auquanut · Apr 14, 2021

Welcome to the R2R family! So sorry for your loss. I find that my reef can be very therapeutic. Just be patient, go slow, and be prepared for disappointments. They can and will happen. Just part of the challenge of reefing. This is a difficult hobby, but OH SO REWARDING! Glad to have you with us and God bless.