Put a bottle in your tank

Paul B

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Put a bottle in your tank

Yes, I realize most people don't like putting phony looking stuff in their tank and I also hate things like sunken shops, sunken planes, sunken chests etc, but I do like putting natural stuff in my tank. In the 45 years since I have been diving I have seen all sorts of things under water from boots to Oldsmobiles. I never put a boot in my tank and I think I would have a problem with the transmission fluid if I tried to put an Oldsmobile in there, aside from the fact that it wouldn't fit through my front door. But every where I have dove, from Australia to Tahiti, to the Mediteranian, along the Pacific and Atlantic coasts of the US I have always found bottles. So, to me, they are a natural part of the reef. Oldsmobiles are also except for the problems I mentioned. Now, throwing a bottle in your tank is stupid and it would look silly so you have to first do some things to the bottle to age it first.

A finished bottle looks like this. This was a new bottle that I "built" to look like this and I think it looks natural. If you don't think so or if the thought of a bottle in your tank makes you nauseous, go and watch TV, I think Oprah may be on.

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To make this, I first find a bottle, or go to the liquor store and buy something. After you drink it, wait a day to sober up. Then sandpaper the bottle to get all the shine off.

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After all the shine is off and it is scratched up, make sure you are still sober and put the bottle in a paper bag and lightly hit it with a hammar.

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Take out all the larger pieces and throw out the small ones. Making sure you are still sober figure out how the pieces go together taking care not to cut yourself to many times. If this seems hard or if you are a Sissy, go with that other guy and watch Oprah, I think she is giving away Oldsmobiles.
Using Goop glue or aquarium silicone, glue the larger pieces together. I prefer Goop as it is very sticky. Leave a large piece out.

Neatness does not count at all, sloppy is better and if you cut yourself don't bleed to much on the bottle as the cement won't stick.

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Go out to dinner and have a nice glass of merlot, maybe keep the bottle for the next time. After it cures, take a Dremmel tool with a carbide wheel and grind down the sharp edges, even on the inside. "Wear Goggles" or you may be a guest on Oprah as a guy with glass in his eye. Get all the edges dull. This only takes a couple of minutes.

Then mix some Sakrete mortor mix or cement, wet the bottle and smear cement all over the bottle trying not to be neat.

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Let it cure a day or two. Go out to dinner again and this time have some Pino Noir, it is better. Put another coat of cement on the bottle. The next day do it again only now, blob some on in a place or two. Now if you like you can cement on an oyster shell, rock or picture of your X girlfriend.
Don't smooth anything out, the sloppier, the better and if your X girlfriend was really homely, that is even better.

Let the thing cure in a bucket of water for a couple of weeks and throw it in your tank and glue some corals to it. Have it partially sunk in the bottom and put some rocks on it. You will be the envy of all the fish geeks and your ugly old girlfriend will never come to bother you again.

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Grand Marnier bottle

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There are 11 bottles in my reef. The Idea is to place them so they are hard to see, but you do get glimses of them. Don't just put them in the front with nothing partially hiding them. They make an interesting addition and even if you can't keep fish alive for more than 10 minutes, most of the comments will not be about your dead fish. Most people will just want to know why you put a bottle in there.

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larangcon

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That's cool, so realistic. I once saw in one of the LFS a beer bottle covered with green and yellow polyps
 
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Paul B

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The sanding and cement is not just for the shape. Coraline algae grows much faster on cement than on glass and in a short while, like a few months, the bottle will take on a coating that will make it look like Colombus threw it off the Santa Maria after he got a Dear John letter from his girlfriend who also was homely.
You need a fine coat of cement all over the bottle or it will never look quite right. You don't want it to look like you just threw a bottle in there, you may as well put in a treasure chest as it will never look aged.




That's cool, so realistic. I once saw in one of the LFS a beer bottle covered with green and yellow polyps

You think that is cool, your going to love this

 
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Paul B

Paul B

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Yes there are. I use a lot of Grand Marnier bottles. I really like the bottles and it has nothing to do with drinking Grand Marnier.
Those fireclowns are in a Grand Marnier bottle. The larger fish is 20 years old
 
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Paul B

Paul B

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If you shoot the bottle make sure you remove the bullet.

 
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Paul B

Paul B

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Thanks Todd. Sometimes in my attempt to "appear" witty and intelligent, I get carried away and forget what the jist of the thread was about. I am also old and on Christmas day I will be another year older as that is my birthday. I planned to have my birthday on Christmas because that is the only way I could remember it as I have a terrible memory for dates and names. It makes it hard sometimes because I have been married for 40 years and I often forget "whats her name's name".
Far to many people take this hobby to seriousely. It is a hobby and if it is not fun, why are we putting so much time and money into it? You read some of these posts and it is like we are talking about armageden or global warming. It's a fish "hobby".
Not important to anything but the fish and I eat fish almost everyday. Like I said, I used to date a girl who looked like a flounder, that is what drew me to her as I love anything fish. We need to have some fun, I mean seriousely
 
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Paul B

Paul B

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Interesting, never though of this
I never thought od dating Christie Brinkley either and I am quite sure she also never thought of dating me. There is an entire plethora of things I never thought of, but I am still thinking.
 

Ron Reefman

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Paul, I pick up bottles that look like this all the time when we walk the beaches of SW Florida or down in the Keys. If you need more you can just ask and I'll send you some. No need for an old guy like you to risk bleeding all over a broken bottle when I get them pre-prepped with coraline, barnacles and sometimes even coral for free!

As always Paul, love your style, your writing and your attitude... oh, and happy birthday. I did something similar to you. I couldn't control my birthday, but me and old what's her name met on the 4th of July and got married on the 4th of July 4 years later. So even if I forget, everybody else in the US celebrates it. People are so nice to throw parties and shoot off fireworks for our anniversary.
 
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Paul B

Paul B

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Wow, I wondered why we throw fireworks on the Fourth. HappyVery belated birthday. Mut I beat you, Me and God were born on the same day but when I go to church on Christmas, the priest fails to mention that. I can also pick up all the bottles I want here in NY either diving or walking around muddy tidepools, I have my pick of bottles, cans or Oldsmobiles. But I prefer to build them myself. About half my bottles I collected in the sea but being we are not big on growing coral in NY I add the cement and coral. I don't mind working with broken bottles as I am not a Sissy and a little blood colors the cement just like coraline algae, as a matter of fact, I welcome it so I make sure I cut myself when I am working with glass. It is 27 degrees here now so no collecting today. :caked:
 

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