Tried to help, now I give up on trying

Salt & Peper · Feb 13, 2020

theMeat said:
When you’re talking about a simple subject when there is a simple right or wrong answer.... with reefing this is not the case. More than one way to find success. Just look at any qt thread.
[/QUOTE
+1

Humblefish · Feb 13, 2020

I once had someone (on Reef Central) tell me this:

Some of my fish got white spots so I flushed them all down the toilet. So I buy all new fish, they get white dots, so I flush all them down the toilet.

And then he wants to argue with me when I try to explain the parasites are now in the tank, not just on the fish. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that except walk away??

AZMSGT · Feb 13, 2020

Thanks folks, I’ve pretty much decided that it’s one of those.. Pick your battles moments. You can tell pretty fast who is worth saving and who isn’t. I hate to be like that but it’s about my piece of mind.

S2G · Feb 13, 2020

Humblefish said:
I once had someone (on Reef Central) tell me this:

Some of my fish got white spots so I flushed them all down the toilet. So I buy all new fish, they get white dots, so I flush all them down the toilet.

And then he wants to argue with me when I try to explain the parasites are now in the tank, not just on the fish. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that except walk away??

That's the fish bowl people I talk about. Fish seem to be considered expendable. Just flush & start over.

Mical · Feb 13, 2020

I totally get @AZMSGT frustrations. Within the last week, I RIPPED on a newer member for the advice he was giving to a member asking an anemone question. After reading his suggestions I literally exploded (it's an Italian thing..lol) His recommendations sounded like he was reading it out of a book - word for word, without ANY true knowledge of what he was talking about. After going off on him, I HAD to apologize to the rest of the community because That's not normally me.

But there's times (and maybe it's me) that I'ld like to say - "Great question & I'ld like to help you but I need to know your parameters". Sorry -"my params are fine, everything is perfect, my LFS says this, " just doesn't fly in my book. I want to help but you have to give info so I can help you!

Rant over

Layll318 · Feb 13, 2020

This thread makes new member feel great I bet lol...

Mical · Feb 13, 2020

Layll318 said:
This thread makes new member feel great I bet lol...

Sometimes truth hurts.

hubcap · Feb 13, 2020

Never give up MSgt.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Just be more selective in the battles you choose.

Being an FNG to the reef game, Im thankful that seasoned pros even take the time to TRY and help people.
Its what drew me to this site. But, I also know how to take criticism and advice. As you know, some do not.

fwiw...

W1ngz · Feb 13, 2020

Mical said:
But there's times (and maybe it's me) that I'ld like to say - "Great question & I'ld like to help you but I need to know your parameters". Sorry

Its definitely not you. No one can be expected to help a person who won't try to help themselves.

Layll318 · Feb 13, 2020

Mical said:
Sometimes truth hurts.

Tbh I haven got a lot of help from people in there. So thanks. And yea they truth hurts. But ignorance is not the same as not knowing imo.

some don’t want your advice, some do and don’t understand it, and some don’t have the funds to fix the issue so maybe are trying to find a different way.

such is life.

but as a community of reefers do you really want them to read a post with 50 vets taking about how smart they ar me lol

Either way thanks for the help

Infidel · Feb 13, 2020

theMeat said:
Very true. It’s not just with reefing

One of my fav sayings...
A dumb person makes the same mistakes.
A smart person learns from their mistakes.
A genius learns from the mistakes of others.

Then again, there’s so many ppl out there pretending to know things that you really have to sift through the crap to get good honest advice these days

These are all true; unfortunately, I would have to close the list out with:
"But... you can't fix stupid."

I'm all for helping people when I can, but there is a huge difference between simple ignorance (with a willingness to learn and do things properly) and complete lack of common sense and empathy for living creatures. "What do you mean my 30g tank is too small for multiple tangs and a foxface? I've had a blue tang in my pico tank for years."

Cell · Feb 13, 2020

Then just take a break from the forum.

Jason mack · Feb 13, 2020

If you help just one person to get their tank back on track or help with whatever ...its worth it .. if that person can move forward and enjoy this hobby then it's worth it . All we can do is share the knowledge...after that its upto individuals what they do with it ....its a shame people dont do more research themselves before buying that tank ....fish ....or coral ...
R2R has been a wealth of help, advice and support too me and many others ...over the years....if it wasnt for that help many wouldn't still be in this hobby sharing their experiences today...

Mical · Feb 13, 2020

Layll318 said:
Tbh I haven got a lot of help from people in there. So thanks. And yea they truth hurts. But ignorance is not the same as not knowing imo.

some don’t want your advice, some do and don’t understand it, and some don’t have the funds to fix the issue so maybe are trying to find a different way.

such is life.

but as a community of reefers do you really want them to read a post with 50 vets taking about how smart they ar me lol

Either way thanks for the help

All I'm trying to say is - co-operate w/me (and others on the forum) and we'll try to solve your issue. 99% of the time I expect a nervous new reefer, who's in a panic over something troubling him/her - overlooking something or not wise to what it takes to make a reef tank happen. I'm more than happy to offer help and at NOBODYs expense. As in most cases we need parameters and YES most new folks don't have them (but it is an important part of reef keeping) and asking for parameters from new reef keepers will (hopefully) give them the idea that "hey maybe I should be testing". I want all folks who come to R2R to be successful, this forum helped me through my trials & tribulations and the best I can do is "pay it forward". If you @Layll318 are not happy w/me, feel free to hit the ignore button.

reeffreak911 · Feb 13, 2020

AZMSGT said:
So many threads of trying to help some people and those people just don’t listen.

Some folks, “My fish died, why?”

Us, “What’s your ammonia, nitrite, nitrate. How old is tank? What are you using as for water, salt?

Some folks “ 0,0,0 or I need to go buy kits. I’ll get back to you”, “Tap water and water softener salt, Rock salt, Pool salt, why does it mater salt is salt.”

Me, “ DOH”.... throws hands in the air as if the poster could see me..

Way to many posts similar to the above. I wish I could make this up.. but I can’t. I start trying to help folks but when they start telling you that they have used Pool salt or Rock salt for their tank.. It blows my mind. Others try to help but they just keep going down a path of weird. You gotta wonder if you’re getting trolled. Nope, they are serious.

Anyway, just tired of trying to help and getting told.. Nah.. Going to do it my way anyway.

When I see a post that says help with whatever it is I cringe cause I know they gonna hit him/her from all directions cause everyone is an expert and even the person asking for help is an expert

Silent · Feb 13, 2020

I dont mind helping even if the questions are along the pool or rock salt type as long as they try and find the answer on their own first.
So many of these type questions could be answered on their own by a quick search.
When I put in more work than the poster to find the answers, thats where I draw the line.

Requiemiero · Feb 13, 2020

Not to say that the guy who used pool salt and a kitchen sponge was not in the wrong, but last I saw he actually was becoming enlightened thanks to everyone's help.

He honestly didn't know that he couldn't just use pool salt and regular tap water. But he agreed to start over and use RODI water and actual aquarium salt.

So I understand your frustration with people who make bad choices, but calling them a troll would just turn them off from listening to the good advice you're giving them.

Just spread good info when you feel up to it. You're helping out new members like me a ton.

Jason mack · Feb 13, 2020

reeffreak911 said:
When I see a post that says help with whatever it is I cringe cause I know they gonna hit him/her from all directions cause everyone is an expert and even the person asking for help is an expert

If you see this happening just add #reefsquad to the post .....reefsquad members then get a message and can jump in and help ...
Reefsquad are volunteer members who give thier help/time freely for this purpose..they have a passion for this hobby and who have experience...and can give the right advice ..or know someone who can ...

Infidel · Feb 13, 2020

Silent said:
I dont mind helping even if the questions are along the pool or rock salt type as long as they try and find the answer on their own first.
So many of these type questions could be answered on their own by a quick search.
When I put in more work than the poster to find the answers, thats where I draw the line.

It's always so tempting to use this great site, but I try not to be an butt...

LMGTFY - Let Me Google That For You

For all those people who find it more convenient to bother you with their question rather than to Google it for themselves.

lmgtfy.com

Shift · Feb 13, 2020

You may not be able to help the person who you are trying to help but you most likely will be helping the people who read your comments after the fact. Don't quit because for every 1 person who ignores your advice there could be hundreds who read and followed your advice or at least learned from it. So please keep trying to help, you might just be saving someone else.